It was the year 2050. The Society for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (SETA) had garnered huge support against the slaughtering of cattle for food, and was placing huge pressure on policy makers to ban the slaughter of cattle for food. Everyday, supporters lobbied and protested, and the government found themselves in a tight spot.
The thing was this - the government officials loved meat. And the person-in-charge of handling this issue with SETA was himself a huge meat lover. He couldn't imagine a society without any beef. He loved his steak the most, T-bone, Rib-eye, Sirloin, anything. But he was under immense pressure. What couldhe do? If SETA continued to put pressure like this, there would be no more beef in the country, or even the world! Many people would suffer, and many jobs would be lost as slaughterhouses closed down. He was at his wits' end.
While thinking about it in his office library, he stumbled upon a book about the founding history of a certain city state in the late 1800s. And all of a sudden, he had an idea. It was almost an eureka moment for him as he dashed out of his office to gather his colleagues and discussed his plan with them.
The next day, several people spotted a group of government officials bringing a huge and majestic looking bull into a building. However, they were not able to see what happened in the building as the door was quickly shut and there were no windows about. They just sighed to themselves as they believed that this was a group of desperate officials who had kidnapped a bull to satisfy their meat craving in these times of lack.
Nobody took much notice of what happened in that building, and people gradually forgot about it. The following week, everyone was surprised when the same group of government officials brought the bull out, as huge and majestic as before, but this time with a crown and a robe around it. It was one of the most bizarre sights anybody had ever seen in their lives. The officials led the bull straight to the supreme court and made an announcement in front of the judge.
"This bull here is the King of All Cattle, and he has decided to make an agreement with us humans."
The people who were at the scene were bewildered. Sure, this bull looked kingly enough, but since when was there a king of all cattle? Some were very skeptical.
"Where did this bull come from? How can you prove to us that this is the King of All Cattle?" a man in the crowd shouted in question.
Many people were gathering around the scene now, and it was getting rather chaotic. The judge asked everyone to quieten down.
"Well, well. The people are right. You have to prove that this bull is indeed the King of All Cattle before any sort of agreement can be made on behalf of all cattle with the humans," the judge said rather wisely. He was very much amused himself at what was happening. And he was a hardcore meat lover.
"Alright. Here's a document stating his lineage and his relations with all cattle. It is very clear that he is indeed the King of All Cattle," replied an official as he handed a piece of paper to the judge.
"Well well... this seems quite credible..." muttered the judge as he fingered the document that looked worn out and aged.
Some people from SETA arrived, and were extremely furious at what was happening.
"What is the meaning of this?! Since when has there been any form of lineage among cattle?! This is all a fraud!" they shouted in anger. Some of them tried to push through the crowd but were stopped by the guards.
"Well, I don't see any reason to doubt this document. It looks genuine enough. Why would anyone want to forge a document concerning the lineage of the King of All Cattle?" replied the judge, as he handed the document for keeping. "However, for the sake of fairness, I would like more proof from His Majesty the King, please."
"Of course," said the official coolly.
One of the officials standing near the bull whispered something into its ear, and all of a sudden, the bull perked its ears in attention. Everyone held their breath and their hearts skipped a beat. Then, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, the bull opened its mouth and said the following:
"I am the King of All Cattle. I represent all cattle here today to form a treaty with the humans."
Everyone present was shocked, and some were scared out of their wits and ran away in fear. There was a huge commotion in the crowd. The judge quickly recovered from his own surprise and took control of the situation.
"Well well... erhem, I guess that pretty much settles it. This bull is indeed the King of All Cattle," announced the judge. "So, what kind of treaty are you going to make with the humans, Your Majesty?"
Once again, an official whispered something into the ear of the bull and it perked up again.
"I have come to make an agreement that man can slaughter any number of cattle as long as they keep my species alive and in good number," said the bull.
A person from SETA, upon hearing this, was so outraged that he almost burst with anger on the spot, but he didn't. Instead, he shouted out in protest,
"This is utter bull shit! What kind of bull shit agreement is that?!"
The officials were now feeling rather bullish about the whole situation, and replied in confidence,
"Well, the King of All Cattle has spoken, how can you say this is... well, whatever you said it is?"
There was loud murmuring among the crowd and several people were dragged away by the guards. One of them being the person from SETA. The judge then quickly stepped in and announced:
"Well, since an agreement has been reached, I guess we should sign a contract regarding this agreement."
A contract was brought out, and the bull stamped its hoof on it, while the judge signed in acknowledgement of the contract. With that, a contract was formed between cattle and man, that all man can freely slaughter and eat cattle as long as they keep the species thriving.
Since that day, SETA could find no reason to fault the policy makers for allowing cattle to be slaughtered for food because of the contract. The policymaker was happy, the judge was happy, and plenty of jobs were saved.
No one knew where the King of All Cattle went after the contract signing in the supreme court.
