you can only do so many things at once

Multitasking - that is one skill which I have never had the chance to master, and probably never will. Some people find it easy, while others like me, find that it is the most difficult thing (or things) to manage.

No I am not talking about having to drive while talking on the phone and eat breakfast in the car at the same time. I am talking about a more macro version of multitasking: to commit to many things at a point in one's life.

This is my theory: every person can only ideally commit himself (or herself, but there is a theory that says females can multitask better) to a maximum of four commitments at any point in his life. Having more than four means that he will not be able to perform his best in any of these because his resources (time and energy) cannot be focused on an optimum level.

I do acknowledge that this may be different for different individuals because every person's energy levels might be different, but the amount of time given is constant, and the results can only vary so much.

Commitment comes in a variety of forms, but it's basically very simple. As long as a certain something demands that you commit a certain amount of time to it, it is a commitment. And the most common commitments are:

• School/Work (including Part Time Jobs)
• Boyfriend/Girlfriend
• Religion (usually Christianity)
• CCAs
• Some relationships (such as family or friends)

The list, of course, is not exhaustive.

Because it is my theory, and because I have developed it from my own life, it is not difficult to understand that I try my best to stick to just four commitments in my life. And they were: School, Girlfriend, Religion, CCA (Canoeing).

For me, friendships hold a very special position. Because for me the commitment of friendships, it is interesting to note, is shared among the four commitments in my life. This means that I maintain my friendships within the context of these commitments. While this may not be applicable to every person, it is perhaps safe to say that this applies to most persons. Friendships are maintained along the context of work, school, or religion. And this is why people classify their friends into "school friends", "work friends", or "church friends". (this warrants an entire article about having "spheres" in our lives, so I shall not dwell on it) So when I say "Some relationships" as one of the commitments that people engage in, I am referring to friendships beyond these spheres.

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It is then time for an announcement.

I have only recently withdrawn from my CCA, Canoeing, because of a new commitment at this point in time. Yes I am no longer a canoeist, and I am sad about this because I have recently found much passion in the sport, and I made the decision to withdraw only after much deliberation.

In it's place as a commitment, is a research project under NTU's URECA programme with my film theory professor.

Initially, I was planning to forgo this research opportunity and continue with the team because I had no interest in post-graduate studies or even in joining the academia when I graduate. But after some discussions with friends and a good deal of reflection, I decided that this was the chance for me to carefully consider and see for myself whether academic research is something that interests me or not. Also, such an opportunity does not knock all the time, and I felt that it would be such a waste if I just let it go.

It was therefore with a heavy heart when I told my captain that I have decided to withdraw from the team because of academic commitments. I could have stayed on, but I decided not to because I did not want to discourage the team by my absence or even put a strain on the resources of the team when I am not giving my best.

So, I have effectively transformed from a canoeist to a research assistant (or more glamorously, "NTU President Research Scholar", as the programme calls it).

God really likes pushing me in areas where I have never considered before. I remember in 2004, I have never considered JC as an option for post-secondary education. I chose a polytechnic, but was sent to a junior college instead. I didn't think I would like to do English Literature when I was in secondary school or even junior college, but I ended up doing English Literature in university. I have never thought I would be doing academic research, and now I am in a programme meant for grooming academic research scholars.

Let's see where God is bringing me to this time.

In Decisions

Alright, long hiatus from blogging. Totally couldn't find the time to do it. Besides that, I guess most of my writing energy went into my internship anyway, if there is such a thing. The internship is over now, so if you are wondering where all those writing went, it's all here: www.hometeam.sg

Let me start off this post with two facts of life.

Fact of life 1: We all hate making decisions.

Seriously. I hate making decisions. The most decisive person hates making decisions too. We all hate to choose, admit that. If I could have my say, I would want everything in the world, so I don't have to choose which ones I can have and which ones I can't. Because choosing something means giving up another.

If I wanna go travelling, what's the best thing to do? Go travel to every single goddamn country on this planet, and maybe discover some new ones in the process of course. Why bother to choose whether I wanna go to Paris or America, or China or Japan? Just say, I wanna f-ing travel. And travel everywhere.

And what's the best transport you can ever dream of? Of course it's a luxury car, that looks and functions like a sports car, that can also travel on the sea or even under water like a submarine, not to forget that it can also transform itself to fly too, probably even turn into a space shuttle, and if the situation arises, can travel on a railroad like a train as well. Oh yes, an all-in-one car. Who wouldn't want that? Now we don't even need to choose between taking a cruise or a plane to our next holiday destination while we are on the above mentioned around-the-world trip.

Oh, how about the perfect boyfriend? Can't choose between this guy or that guy? (I know I am being gender biased here, but please, I don't need to write this twice, so I'll write for the girls because ladies come first) Of course you can't. What you want is someone who is good looking, kind, rich, witty, honest, sporty, intelligent, bookish, muscular, not overbearingly manly, someone who can read you poetry, do your laundry, fix your house lighting or plumbing, cunning sometimes, and whatever else a guy should have. You want all the qualities the a guy might have packed into one. That'll be wonderful isn't it.

Or the perfect child? Of course you want your child to have a 'holistic' development. And this includes wanting him to learn music, dancing, art, sports, history, math, languages, science and every single thing that a human being invented for the betterment of the mind. Your child has to know every f- thing and probably even write an encyclopedia off his mind.

Fact of life 2: We can't have everything in life.

And what does this mean? This means that we have to choose. Yes, whether you like it or not, we as humans need to make decisions and choices in our lives. It is ultimately inevitable to choose one thing over the other because we can't have everything we want in the world.

We only get 24 hours a day, and we have finite number of days to live. Some has more, some has less. But it's finite. This means that one day, we are going to die, and when we die, we stop getting the things we want. So there are definitely some things that we have to give up along the way.

Length of our life is one thing, opportunity is another. Some opportunities just simply clash with each other. It's about the timing. For example, I had to choose between an internship with Singapore Press Holdings or the Ministry of Home Affairs. I wanted both, because I see value in both internship opportunities, but I could only choose one as they offer themselves in a time period that clashes with each other. And in the end I chose the Ministry of Home Affairs, because of an interest to be involved in the ministry after graduation.

Another thing that we cannot avoid: the capacity for us to do only one thing at a time. I'm not talking about multi-tasking here. I'm talking about choosing the next course in our lives. Do I go for a post-graduate course or do I spend the time building my career? Do I get attached now or enjoy singlehood for the next few years? These things involves choices and decisions. I can't do a post-graduate course and build my career at the same time (well, you technically can... but it's a little different), and I can't be attached and enjoy singlehood at the same time. To be attached means to give up singlehood, and to be single means to give up being attached.

Conclusion?

We have to choose, whether you like it or not. I remember writing an article many years ago about 'choice'. I said that we make a choice every single day and second. We make choices in what we wear, what we say, what we do. Even if we decide not to make a choice, we have CHOSEN not to make a choice, which is a choice in itself.

This time round, I am talking about choosing what you want in your life. Bigger choices, choices that we have to make deliberately. And we can't just don't choose, because that will bring us nowhere. So here's the thing, make your decisions early. Decisive people get a head start, because they know what they want and they start to build towards it early on in the race. Making a big decision like life choices is a long and tedious process. It doesn't mean that you can get what you want simply because you make a decision to want it. From the decision, you still need to work towards this aim that you have. So early decision makers actually get a head start from the rest.

I do not mean that you make a decision hastily. But do not postpone something unnecessarily. Even if at the end of the day, you decide to change your original decision, it will still be alright. For example, if you decide that you want to work in this particular firm in the future, and you begin to build your portfolio and skills towards this target, and then you decide somewhere down the road that you do not wish to go ahead with this plan anymore, know that the portfolio you have built and the skills that you attained will not go to waste. These things remain with you. What will really go to waste is if you do not decide on anything, and spent the time doing things really does not help you accomplish much.

So really, just some food for thought. Chew on it and let me know what you think. It is late, and I shall sign off.

Ciao.