Sunday, August 30, 2009

Post No. 270

The week seemed longer than it was just a few weeks ago.

Maybe time has slowed itself down in my world, or maybe its something else. Maybe its the routine. Maybe its the reading. Maybe its the training. Maybe its just me.

Routine. I don't like routines. In fact, I abhor it. I hate it to the max. But still, I embrace it. I stick on to it like its the love of my life. Church, reading, studying, training. Its like an endless cycle. Yet, without routine, what else do I have? What can I do? A hamster on a treadmill, that's what I am. People say, "you are just doing the same thing again and again!" and I say, "you got a better plan?"

I wish someone would just call me while I am going home from school, or while I am reading a text and say, "Hey, lets go to a movie!" or "Have you eaten? Lets have dinner together!" Maybe its not that. Maybe I want something BIG, something to just really rock my life, turn it upside down. Maybe I want something to really HAPPEN. I don't know. Do I even have the time and energy for anything of that scale?

I'm not short of activities. No I'm not. In fact, there's so many things to do. So many things done.

There's canoe training. Well, thrice a week. Monday being the one that tires me the most. Wednesday is alright but sometimes I get to YCG a little late. Saturday being the most fun, peddling in Macritchie and capsizing freely.

There's studies and reading. Comms textbook, the handouts, politics material, anthology, poems, short stories. But its just studies and reading. I don't want to just study and read. I want to learn something. I want to discover things. I want to have this sense of 'Eureka'! And its just evading me, this discovery. So far, its just information being placed and shelved up in my head, a text being like a trophy on the rack. "Oh, I read this, I read that." But no no, I don't want that. I want my texts to be my friends, all sitted around the fire, sharing with me their discoveries, their adventures, everything.

That touch, that love for my novel, its gone. Maybe its the pace at which I am reading. Or maybe its even the text itself. Somehow, I cannot immerse myself in the story anymore. I cannot feel the character anymore. I cannot find my heart broken at a certain loss, I cannot feel the racing heartbeat during a confrontation. It's just a story. Just. How did it turn out this way even. Maybe I have to create time for the texts that I really want to read. "Its the unwritten rule for English Literature." Yes, it must be.

However, life is not as pessimistic as I might have described it to be. Nice and exciting things did happen in this week. One of which would be that I watched 'Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children Complete'! I saw it on sale, but it came out only in Blu-ray. So I was really tempted to just buy a blu-ray player and watch it. The fanatic spirit in me was just screaming at me to do so, but logic told me otherwise. Wisdom is important. It helped to prevent Courts from earning $399 from me, and I managed to watch the show in the 'digital' version. That said, there's still this itch in my heart to buy the blu-ray, watch it in HD on my tv and see if Cloud has any pimple on his face or not. Call it the negative effects of being a fan.

As I end this post, I feel much better, as if I have poured my heart out to a friend. Maybe, rather than hoping for things to happen, I should really go MAKE things happen. Explore the boundaries, tread into the unknown and then see what happens next. Maybe its time I get out of my comfort zone and stop presuming, stop assuming things won't work out, stop dwelling about the difficulties I will face. Get out, do it, and get it done. That was the spirit during army, why not bring it along with me?

"Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing." - A. J. Marshall

Monday, August 24, 2009

Post No. 269

... Canoe... training... is... very... tiring....

... I... need... to... rest...

... I... need... to... finish... Sir... Gawain... and... The... Green... Knight... by... tonight...

... Comms... chapter... 3... too...

... Somebody slap me.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Post No. 268 (My First Post On My Laptop)

It is with my greatest pleasure to announce that I have bought my laptop and this is the very first post that I have crafted on the laptop.

I know I have stated my interest in procuring a Macbook Pro in one of my previous post, but I regret to inform that I have purchased a HP laptop instead. Well, I did not regret getting a HP laptop, but regret having to inform... never mind.

Anyway, one of the main reasons why I decided not to go for the Mac, despite having found out about its capabilities and usefulness, was because I am not confident of using a Macbook myself. The Mac OS, even though I had a short crash course with Jeff on its functionalities, was still extremely unfamiliar to me. And because of the need to use it in lectures and for my work, I felt that it was safer for me to go for a system that I was more familiar with instead.

I certainly do not wish to make a fool out of myself by opening my Macbook in lecture and not know how to use it! (although I was close to making a fool of myself when I took out my laptop for lecture and then realised that I did not have MS Office installed yet!) Of course, not to mention, the price was also a major factor in my decision making.

That said, the HP laptop took me awhile to get familiar as well. One thing being that it uses the Windows Vista OS, which I am not familiar with as I am one of those few who have been left behind in time and was still using the Windows XP OS on my desktop. Also, this is my first laptop and there was many many things that I had to go discover.

And if you have been wondering where I have been and why I have not been updating this little space of mine (please do not confuse with myspace), here's the reason:

Everyday, I will be at school. If I was not at school, I would be out with my friends. If I was not out with my friends, I would be at home. If I was at home, I would be in a crazy race to complete my readings and being capable of completing it only the night before it is required. For the first time in a long time, I found myself having no time to blog and its not because I was glued to my TV and playing FFXII.

And its not like I am out with my friends alot. Yes I admit that the dinner and movie that I went to did take up some time, but its not alot. Most of the time, its readings and more readings. Beowulf, William Blake, Anne Bradstreet, Walker Percy, John Smith... just some of the readings that have been completed in the week, and not to forget, my communications textbook. And oh yes, Lee Hsien Loong's rally speech for my Singapore govt and politics class which is happening tomorrow. School life is so wonderful. I hope I won't burn out. God please help me!

Oh well, maybe you are wondering why I am not doing my Lee Hsien Loong's rally reading now and is blogging these mundane things instead; it's because continuous reading can get a little tiring, and writing helps as it is something different. Actually, it is more than different, it is technically the complete opposite of reading and yet at the same time, it is the same as well, but a different kind. Haha, just some food for thought for you people.

I got a feeling today during comms lecture (and while learning about quantitative research) that if I take on communication studies in the higher level, I might have to face statistics and certain math as well, something I most certainly dread. But nevertheless, I still like comms studies. Its pretty interesting to learn something so basic and casual in such an advanced and formal way. For example, and I shall end with this, something which I found to be so very basic and yet so very true in relationships:

"Although dramatic moments affect relationships, it is our unremarkable, everyday interaction that sustains the daily rhythms of our intimate connections"

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Post No. 267 (The Stories of A Freshie)

For those who do not know, for whatever reasons, school life has started for me. Yes, I am a student now, I carry a bag to school and I read books and write notes and print lecture notes. If you are reading this, it must be because of one of the following reasons:

- You want to know whats going on in my life.
- You are extremely bored and want something to read.
- You are a great friend of mine and is a loyal fan of my blog. (hoho)
- You have, for no particular reason, clicked something and it somehow directed you to this blog.

Regardless of the reason, I shall share with you what has happened since the day school started. The reason why I am doing this is because I want to take a break from reading my texts, and also because the "Fish-a-fish" application on Facebook is down. (WHY IS IT DOWN! I WANT TO FISH MANY FISH!)

Anyway, first day of school was not very eventful. I met some friends at Boon Lay MRT and went to school together, alighted at the bus stop nearest to the LT, and went looking for the LT. A friend insisted that it wasn't cool to fish out the map I had in my bag so we didn't. As a result, well, we got lost. I shall not bore you, my dear readers, with the mundane details of the different places we went to OTHER THAN the designated LT. Just know that we climbed stairs, took the elevator, hit dead-ends, walked and walked until we saw a SMALL sign on the door that says "LT 9". We were late by at least 10 minutes.

My first lecture (well, first non-military related) since 2006. And er, I don't know, I felt it was a little chim (sophisticated) but could still understand. Maybe it was due to the rust left behind by my military stint, but I really thank God I had some literature background, or I won't understand much. Also, thank God for Evangel Family Church for inviting angmohs (caucasians) to speak, so I was still able to understand the accent. Horizon of expectations, form, Anglo-Saxon, Beowolf etc.

Went home and waited for 7pm to register for the modules that I have planned.
6.50pm
*refresh*
6.55pm
*refresh*
*puts MSN on busy status*
6.58pm *refresh*
7pm
*refresh*
*frantic clicking to register course*
*FAIL*
*registers Plan 2*
*FAIL*
*registers Plan 3*
*FAIL*
*randomly tries to register courses*
*FAIL*
*Stares at monitor in disbelief and resignation*
*Goes to have Xiao Long Bao at Ding Tai Feng to drown the sorrows*

That's day 1 then.

Day 2 was pretty alright. Tried again to register for courses.

*logs in*
*randomly clicks courses that I like*
*1 slot in communication studies*
*nearly went mad*
*clicks frantically to register*
*SUCCESSFULLY REGISTERED*
*thank God*
*Jumps for joy*
*continues to randomly click courses*
*1 slot in Singapore Politics and Govt*
*Not sure about it but clicked it anyway in spirit of kiasu-ness*
*SUCCESSFULLY REGISTERED*
*thank God*

The lecture starts only at 3pm (I love my timetable like this) and I could still go lunch with mum and go shopping with her in the afternoon. However, I sort of overestimated the efficiency of our public transport system and reached the LT, again, 10 minutes late. Introduction to literature. Way simpler than the one I had on day 1. Nothing much was learnt, but I took notes anyway. I like my lecturers, they are pretty cool people.

Day 3, well, that's today, Thursday. Wasn't supposed to have classes today because tutorials don't start till next week, but found out last night that there was a lecture for comm studies at 11am; so well, I found myself going to school again. Reached the school, its called the Wee Kim Wee School Of Communications and Information, which is a totally new and foreign place to me. Found the LT after asking one of the aunties working there (and also realised its the only LT around), met a few people in the LT and then found out that the lecture was cancelled. We didn't know because we didn't attend the previous lecture because we weren't enrolled in the course yet. So well, just too bad for us.

I am pretty glad to find out (after asking some people there)that this course, COM201 is actually a Comm Studies Year 1 course! Haha, there goes all my fears that it was going to be too advanced. :D Bought the textbook for COM201 and did some admin at my school, which is the School of Humanities and Social Sciences and went for lunch. Did some swimming in the late afternoon and then studied abit at the CCK library (which I found was not very conducive).

Tomorrow, there will be a lecture for the Singapore Politics and Govt course and I shall take a look at how it is. It probably isn't going to be as basic as COM201 because the lecture notes for the lecture was 176 slides long! Most of which are newspaper articles and quotes. -_-" Not really sure if I am up to it, but shall try anyway.

So that's how school life (minus the orientation camp) started for me. Certainly just the usual fare in university life, but I found it pretty exciting still!

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Post No. 266 (NDP Special)

Happy 44th National Day!

I'm patriot. Yep. I love my country. I love my government. I love the fact that I'm Singaporean, that I'm holding a pink IC, that I've served my national service, that I'm in a local university. Yes, I'm a patriot and I'm proud to be one.

Call me naive, call me brain-washed; still, I love my country. Every 9th August, I will either be at the NDP, or I will be at home watching the NDP (I missed 1 or 2 live telecasts, but watched the encore anyway). And then I will take time to think about how much this little country has gone through and how far we have come to be where we are right now.

We have certainly come a long way. I know, that was a cliche. But cliches are cliches only because (quoting The Kite Runner) "they are dead on" aren't they? 44 years, from mudflats to a metropolitan city (that was quoting MM Lee), from 3rd world to 1st world, from unrecognized to a global country. It was certainly quite a feat.

I know people always have something to say about the government. I've heard it all. About pulling strings, some conspiracy that was covered up, some secrets here and there, failures in certain projects and what not. I'll grant the wagging tongues their benefit of the doubt, even if some myths were not proven and some stories sound more far-fetched than true. But still, I love my government because they are effective and they are clean. Because they know how to manage the little resources we have and they know how to manage when a crisis hit the island, be it economic or pandamic. We have a good government and the results speak for itself. Even with the track record as evidence, many people will still stick to stories of manipulation and conspiracies. I won't try to change their minds. I just want to ask, "could you have done better?"

Personally, I think this year's NDP was one of the better ones. One reason is because my unit was on TV (hoho, felt nostalgic when i saw the teletubby :P). But more importantly, it was because other than the display of the multi-cultural arts and some mass display of formations and the other usual fan-fare, there was also a very strong message of having a national identity. The fact that the 10 chapters was revolved around the national pledge and the reciting of pledge at 2022HRS were pretty nice ideas. Haha, I admit it did feel a little silly to stand by myself in my room and reciting the pledge. Oh well.

This is home. My pledge. My anthem. My flag. My crescent moon and five stars. My country. This is home. Truly. Surely.

What will you defend? What do you see?

Happy 44th National Day!

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Post No.265

I nearly cried on the train today when I was reading The Kite Runner. Sheesh.

Attended the welcome ceremony today and received LOTS of goodies. Haha. We were then made to wear this gown which I suspect we will be wearing again in 4 years time and recite this pledge which I have forgotten by the time I sat on the chair again. Kind of felt like when I was enlisted 2 years ago. Met up with the professors, and well, I suppose there's alot to expect and its better that I get myself working already.

School is starting in a week's time and I have alot alot of reading to be done. And I actually foolishly thought that I had so much free time and was wondering what to do for the last week of holidays.

Just some examples of what will be on my mind for the months to come:

- HAMLET --> all time favourite

- THE WOMAN WARRIOR --> memoirs of a chinese in America...

- PUDD'NHEAD WILSON --> I was ?? at first as well, but its actually a play about crime-solving. Mystery.

- SONG OF MYSELF --> can't escape poetry

- THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN --> they say its for the American Literature module. Oh well.

- THE NORTON ANTH... --> sorry, its too hard for me to type the title out. Its a very useful book. Other than for studying literature, one can also use it for strength training and murder. Oh yes, did I mention there's a volume 2 as well? (there could be even more volumes, but I don't want to think about it now)

I shall stop here. That makes up... around half of my reading list.

Time to get started.

Sunday, August 02, 2009

Post No.264

Went for rock climbing today after church and earned myself blisters on the fingers and very very very sore arms. When was the last time I did rock climbing... probably 2005... during J1. That's 4 years ago!

Blisters felt like they were burning when I was showering and the pain intensified when the soap got into them, and then the shampoo! Showering became such a torturous experience.

And then the tired arms. Oh man, I tell you, they were so tired that I had difficulty opening a can of coke during dinner! I tried different positions (and I didn't want to ask for help because its really super throw-face) and finally opened it after a few tries and putting all my strength into it.

But still, rock climbing was pretty fun!

Anyway, school is going start in a week's time and I am trying my best to master STARS, which is a system for me to register my modules in university. Its fastest fingers first and I don't want to get a sucky semester because I was noob at STARS.

Saturday, August 01, 2009

Post No.263

A friend and I came up with a saying today:

There's artiste, then there's celebrity, then there's star, then super-star, then legend, and then there's Michael Jackson.

I donated blood again today and discovered that this would be the 8th time I am donating blood.

It also struck my mind about how ironic it would have been if someone came to donate his blood, and then got hit by a car while going home and ends up having his own blood put back into him.

This post is short and a little random because I feel groggy and sleepy, which I always feel after I donated blood.