Matthew 1:18 ~ 25

"This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, and angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel" - which means, "God with us"

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her untill she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus."

Happy birthday to you Jesus!

Christmas is finally here and we celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ. Everyone knows the story, of the baby born in a manger in Bethlehem, and of the shepherds who heard "Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace among those whom he favors!", and also of the wise men who came from the east to bring gifts to honour Jesus Christ.

A friend once asked me, "why is it that we have to give presents to people during Christmas?" My answer was, because it was on this day that God gave us His one and only son, to be destined to die on the cross, to save their entire mankind from the penalty of our sins, eternal death. Because of this, we celebrate, we give gifts because God has given us His son for our salvation.

Christmas is a time when we generously give, and graciously receive.

The most important present, thats given to all of us, is salvation. Salvation through Jesus Christ. And I really thank God for this precious gift that He has given us way way before I was even born.

It is because of God that I am who I am today, that I know the people I know today. I remember the times when He kept me from going wayward during my backslidden secondary school days despite of all the temptations around me, the time when He preserved my life in the car accident which snapped my bike into 2, the time when He made me go into junior college knowing that its the best for me, despite of me wanting to go into polytechnic, and the times when He gave me the wisdom to go through my examinations, helping me to get into university, when He was with me during my days in Army, when it seems like no one else was by my side, when He put me in the unit that I am in, knowing that its the place which I will enjoy working, and indeed I am enjoying myself, and also when He helped me to earn the contract, given to only 2 people in the unit. For all these, I thank God, and all glory be unto Him.

And of course, I also received presents from many of my precious friends! To Jovin, Aunt Candy, Dixon, Trina, Luke, Stephanie, Melvin, Sylvia, Linton and Michelle, Samuel, Yinlai, Wendy, Lilin, Lilian, Shuting, Zhiwei, Singdee, my Sister, Jeff.... not sure if still got more, sorry if I forgot a name, thank you guys so so much for the wonderful gifts!

Had an amazing fellowship at... Cassourina road? Not sure how to spell it, but its at Thomson Road, with an amazing gang made up of *drum rolls* Dixon, Yinlai, Shawn, Aik Khim, Jovin, Aunt Candy, Jiayan, Jiani, Wenyi, Samuel. Yes, I am the only person from Region B who is there. And oh, its also very interesting that there at least 2 other groups from Evangel who were at the same place we ate at!

And, last but not least, Christmas this year is extremely special. Thats because a small sleepyhead came into my life, turned it upside down and brought, oh, so much joy to me.

Keep smiling people, because thats what I've been doing this Christmas :D

"Heroes", the christmas event for HOF this year is coming up and everybody is working non-stop to find their costumes, make their costumes, squeeze out every single ounce of brainjuice they have for the ideas. I am not spared from this crazy wave of non-stop work either. Researching for ideas for the G12 costumes, allocating characters to every single G12 member, plan and organise the evangelistic wednesday for home christmas, making sure everything goes as per planned. This is what happens when your G12 leader got video to concentrate on, and your G12 assistant leader goes on a trip to China, and then to Malaysia.

Anyways, while doing these things, a little idea popped into my mind. "Heroes". What makes someone a hero? Some famous heroes include: Superman, Spiderman, Batman, Captain America, Ironman, just to name a few. We all agree these people are heroes, but what exactly makes them a hero? Lets look at some common qualities they have.

• They all come and save the world from villains.
• They will save the world even if it means putting their life on the line.
• They wear a good looking costume, a few of them are made of spandex.
• They have strong and muscular bodies.
• They fight really well.
• Theres always a damsel in distress for them to save.

Can't think of much. I remember a phrase from the movie "The Dark Knight" that says 'you either die a hero, or you live long enough to become a villain.'

To me, however, to be a hero means alot more than just saving the damsel in distress. Its alot more than just putting on a spandex costume or a cool looking outfit and going around beating bad people up. To me, a hero is more than a muscular body or the ability to fly around the world in 1 second. Thats because I know someone who is really a hero. And let me tell you about him.

"Heroes", if we read it aloud, it can also be read as "He rose". Who rose? You may ask. Jesus Christ. He is the true blue, real and authentic hero of the world. No, he is not muscular. No, he does not wear a spandex costume or a cape. He simply saved the entire world from eternal death. Thats what makes Him a hero.

Not enough? Want something like super powers? Well, He's got it too. Feeding 5000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, thats pretty impressive. Turning plain old water into the finest wine anyone can taste. How about silencing the storm by rebuking the wind? Or walking on water? Or healing the blind and the lepers? Or even reviving those whom others have declared dead? Is that not super enough for you?

Okay, a hero must be noble as well. Sacrificing himself to save the world would be the best right? Well, you got it. Thats exactly what Jesus did. He sacrificed Himself and died on the cross so He could take on the sin of the entire world, past present future, so that He could save everybody from eternal death. He did this despite the fact that the very peope He is trying to save were the ones who ridiculed Him and were the ones who put Him on the cross. What else could be more noble than this?

Maybe you are looking for the "WOW" factor, something that truly distinguishes this hero from any other. Heres one for you. Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He died on the cross, only to be raised from the dead 3 days later, after which He ascended to heaven. Isn't that wow enough? Its definitely wow enough for me.

So let me say this. Personally, Jesus Christ is my hero. He saved me from eternal death. I don't need anybody in a red cape flying over and scoop me out of a bad situation because I know one thing. I know that when I'm in a bad situation, Jesus Christ won't be coming down to scoop me out of it. Instead, He will be there with me, to see me through it. Thats my hero. Is He your hero too?

Just finished watching Bleach episode 197, and I loved the dialogue between Kuchiki Byakuya and the no.7 Espada Zommari Leroux.

Byakuya: You are the arrogant one, Espada. But fear not, you won't lose because of it. You'll lose purely because of the gap between our powers.

Leroux: Arrogant? Me? What makes you say that? You may be my enemy, but you are also of the captain class. I believe we are on the same level, and have been trying to behave as such. There is no arrogance in that.

Byakuya: Arrancar... the fact that you consider yourself to be on the same level as myself is being arrogant in itself.

Leroux: I see.. I can tell it is in your nature to be appallingly arrogant. So be it. Then I am forced to humiliate you untill you relinquish that pride.

Cutting the story short, a fight ensued and Leroux was subsequently trashed by Byakuya. I am not exaggerating by saying trashed. So much for being on the same level.

Its World Aids Day today. So in view of that, I shall post some Aids awareness for everyone. Aids, acronym for Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome is a set of symptoms and infections caused by damage to the human immune system. This damage is due to a virus known as HIV, Human Immunodeficiency Virus. When someone is said to have HIV, he just has the virus, not the symptoms. When the person has Aids, he is in the condition when his immunity system is so weak that he can't fight off normal illnesses anymore. They are 2 DIFFERENT THINGS.

HIV is transmitted through bodily fluids such as blood, semen, vaginal fluid or breastmilk. Well, HIV can therefore be transmitted through sex, breastfeeding, through blood transfusion, or sharing of needles infected with HIV. It is therefore very important to note that HIV cannot be transmitted through air or by body contact.

In view of this, precautions must be made so as to prevent the further spread of HIV. This include, practicing safe sex. Meaning, insist on wearing a condom if you are going to have sex with a random person (not your spouse). Thats because condom is 99% capable of preventing the bodily fluids from getting to you. However, I say its better NOT TO HAVE SEX WITH A RANDOM PERSON. Stay faithful to your spouse, and have sex only after you get married. I think thats the safest.

Also, do not share needles, or blades, or anything that has come into contact with another person's blood as these might be contaminated with HIV. You don't want to be a victim for no apparent reason.

People with HIV can still be healthy if they respond early to treatment. However, many people can't come to terms with having HIV and would thus need the support of his family, friends and the people around him.

Many people discriminate people with HIV, but they are humans too. They have a soul too. And HIV won't even spread like SARS. Let us be more understanding towards them, giving them support, because thats what they need the most.

I found some videos about Aids, just to get the message across.

Lead me to the Cross

SINGAPORE: 2 girls and 1 man were nearly murdered by a man wearing tight shorts at Yishun MRT station at around 10.30pm last night.

It is believed that the group of 2 girls and 1 man was alighting from a train at Yishun MRT station when they noticed a man wearing a pair of extremely tight shorts that was showing off the shape of his bottom. It is also reported that the man was wearing a very tight singlet as well.

According to sources, it is believed that the man in the group, Mr Nod Gna, started speaking gibberish as he couldn't control his laughter.

The trio then started laughing among themselves and couldn't stop laughing even after they exited through the gantry of the MRT station. It is then around this time that they nearly lost their breath due to excessive laughing.

One of the victims, Miss Aerdna Gnohk reportedly experienced abdominal pains and had to sit down to ease off the pain for nearly a minute. It was also noted by eye witnesses that the other girl in the group, Miss Nilil Gnohk was speaking in a very heavy chinese accent with Mr Nod Gna.

The man wearing tight shorts left the scene and could be not be found. The group then left the station shortly after.

No injuries were reported in this incident. Authorities have issued an advice to all readers to try their best to control their laughter when they see anything funny so as to prevent themselves from losing their breath.

— JNA (Jelly News Agency)

After much persuasion, my dad has finally given in to my request. He decided to give me the Sony portable DVD player, so I can watch my favourite shows while I am on duty! Well, I am definitely pleased. And to my surprise, I found out that this portable DVD player could also hook up to the TV so you don't have squint your eyes to watch on that little screen. So now, the portable DVD player has doubled up to become my room's DVD player! No longer the need to watch DVD on my computer when I migrated the DVD player to the living room. I am very pleased indeed.

说好的幸福呢 - Jay Chou

My heartiest congratulations to...

Zihao! For his posting to BMTC as a recruit instructor! Nature, green trees, green leaves, green men, green vehicles. Being back onto the Pulau Tekong. Recruits, jungles, route march, training, camo cream, field pack.... ah, don't you just miss that island... Enjoy your posting there Zihao! Coz you are gonna be there till you ORD!

And, Melvin! For his posting to... *drum rolls* Guards Recce! Everybody repeat with me... "Guards Recce". I shall not go into his job details, but well, it is definitely challenging :D "Ready To Strike" is the Guardsmen motto, and I am sure glad you are ready to strike, Melvin. Haha, and even if you are not, you had better be!

Oh oh, those 2 postings are really good ones for those who don't know. Helps you to realise your potential, trains you up physically, helps you to be a model soldier ya! Haha, so don't look at me as an example of a model soldier, I don't even know if I am even close to being a soldier now :P

Delirious? - History Maker

And yes, today is the cat's birthday.

Happy birthday to Peiyi! My sister of 19 years. And of 19 years old.

One day, a boy who has a bag of marbles proposes a trade with a little girl who has a bag of candies. The girl gladly agrees. But as the boy gets out his marbles, he realizes that he can't bear to part with some of them. Rather dishonestly, he takes three of his best marbles and hides them under his pillow. The boy and girl made the trade, and the girl never knew he has cheated her. But that night while the girl lies fast asleep, the boy has no peace. He's wide awake, pondering a question that nags at him: "I wonder if she kept her best candy too?"

Do you want the best from God?

Have you given your best to God?

Superb story. I remember I posted a similar story on the blog in the past. But I want to post it again. This is a story about a father and son, Dick and Rick Hoyt. Although being born different due to cerebral palsy (lack of oxygen to the brain), Rick didn't give up in life, and his father Dick is doing all he can to help him. Rick was put through college, and many other things a normal person would do, and he completed them. Even things normal people don't do, he completed them as well, such as triathlons. Lets not give up on the small things in our life alright. Let me quote Winston Churchill during a seemingly hopeless war in the WWII, "Never, never give up."
God is always there to rescue us, have faith! A picture speaks a thousand words, a video millions.

"Leadership is solving problems. The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help or concluded you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership. " - Colin Powell

Superbly said.

Woke up in camp on Wednesday morning, looked out the window towards the camp compound and asked myself "What in the world am I still doing here?"

Looking at my pals ORD, and having to report for duty the day after my expected ORD, its not helping to boost my morale by any bit. Its a decision that I made though, so I better make this 6 months more worthwhile.

I looked further and the sunrise shone into my eyes. Well, at least God is still faithful. Thats good enough for me.

And oh yes, happy birthday to you Christine. 19 years old.

Praise and thank God!

After 2 days of struggling, scanning, deleting, uninstalling, installing, my computer has finally recovered. Put up alot more security for the system now. Pray that such things never happen again. :D

Really really thank God!

Well, went to watch "Quantum Of Solace" just now. Just to let everybody know, I am not exactly a Bond fan, so I haven't watched "Casino Royale". Basically, what happens is this: The movie started and I have no idea whats going on, there were alot of fighting, guns, explosions (BOOM), women, party, flying an aeroplane, jumping off aeroplane, more fighting, more guns, more explosions. And at the end, I still have no idea whats going on.

Came back this evening after a very satisfying dinner at Kovan. Went into the lift with a young malay family (parents and a small boy). The small boy hit "6" on the number pad and I proceeded to hit "8". Then the mum, I suppose is mum, said "How come you never ask uncle which number he want?" The small kid looked at me and I looked back. Which part of me looks like an uncle? I am only 20!! 20, mind you. Do I really look so old.... Geez.

Anyway my pc is hit by an array of viruses and trojan horses. I am in hot combat with them right now. Dear friend Ying Lai has identified one of the viruses as the "Sauccer" virus. No idea if I spelt it right here. Basically it causes my PC to shut down every time I connect my system to the Internet. Cool eh, somehow I managed to contain that one, and Norton Antivirus is helping me to fight off many others as well. Soldier, this is war!

Was having dinner with my mum at the coffeeshop when my mum's friends, an auntie and an old uncle, came over and started a conversation with me. *entire conversation is in cantonese and kindly translated by me.*

Auntie (A) : "Going back to camp ah?"

Me: "Yup"

A: "NS pay not very high right? My son gets only like $500++.."

Me: "Quite ok la. Depends on what you do lo. And your rank."

Uncle (U): "He's a 3 stripes leh (3rd Sergeant)"

A: "Oh? My son is 2 stripes in police (I think is corporal). So how much 3 stripes get?"

Me: "Abit more la. Less than $1000 still."

A: "Got at least $900?"

Me: "Ya... around there."

A: "Oh...."

U: "3 stripes not bad leh. Not very easy to become. Pay also better lo."

Me: "Ok lah..."

*Auntie walks off*

U: "So what you do in the army?"

Me: "I'm an engineer."

U: "Combat engineer?"

Me: "Yep, combat engineer."

U: "Wah, very xiong one leh. Need to build bridges one."

Me: "Heh, not quite lah, now quite high-tech already. Besides, I am not the type that build bridges."

U: "Oh, then what type of combat engineers you do?"

Me: "Other things lo. Not building bridges."

U: "Combat engineers got alot of types one ma, what type are you?"

Me: "Just other things lo. Heh."

*At this point, uncle becomes very emo and his face became sad*

U: "Oh... now got alot of things cannot tell other people already..."

Me: "eh... ?"

U: "Now is like that already la.... become secretive..."

*Uncle walks off* *I went ?!*

What a very emo uncle. Dunno is spy or what...

Saw this picture on Yahoo! News. And this is the caption:

"A sign at the Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch railway station in Anglesey, Wales. Translated from Welsh: St Mary's church in the hollow of the white hazel near to the rapid whirlpool and the church of St Tysilio of the red cave. Welsh officials mistakenly erected a road sign that read "I am not in the office at the moment" after a translation mix-up."

Thats a really LOOOOOOOOONG name for a railway station! You can try to pronounce the name.

Its pronounced as

Llan-vire-pooll-guin-gill-go-ger-u-queern-drob-ooll-llandus-ilio-gogo-goch.

"Hi mum, I am at the Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch railway station, come and pick me up!"

Today, something interesting happened at Heart.Sports. And it caught my eye.

Basically, brief of situation. Some guys were playing basketball and this guy had a little tumble and fell over in pain. Ok, not so very interesting, it always happens. But what caught my eye was that his girlfriend (I am not sure if she is or not, but she looks like she is his girlfriend) ran over and held his hand while other people were treating his sprained ankle. And she held his hand all the way when he was screaming in pain. This caught my eye.

Its been awhile since I saw this. This innocent act of love. And this basic foundation of a relationship - to be there for your loved one when he/she needs you. To be honest, it touched my heart. Even though she knew nothing about how to treat a sprain, or how relief her boyfriend of the pain, she held his hands and ensured him that everything is ok. And even if its not ok, she'll be there for him.

And as the rest carried him to the side and went on with their game, she was still with him at the side. Ensuring him that everything will be fine.

I stood at one side and pondered about it. How sweet. Don't you wish there will be someone who will be there for you when you are in need? Who will hold your hands and tell you everything is going to be alright? Sweet.

We'll do it all

Everything

On our own

We don't need

Anything

Or anyone

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know

How to say

How I feel

Those three words,

Are said too much

They're not enough

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time

Chasing cars

Around our heads

I need your grace

To remind me

To find my own

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am

All that I ever was

Is here in your perfect eyes

They're all I can see

I don't know where

Confused about how as well

Just know that these things

Will never change for us at all

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

"Now who said in a relationship, you need cars, money, flowers, chocolates, gifts. All you need is just each other, and you can just forget the world."

Did a few interesting things over the past few days as a result of me having too much free time from the clearing of leaves. And no, leaves do not equate to the plural of leaf. It means days that I do not need to go to work.

One of the things I did was to clear up the mess I made in my room. Stuff thats lying around on the floor, in the shelves, in the drawers. Sieving through some of the old stuff, I found some pretty interesting things that brought back many memories. My enlistment letter, letters that remind me to go do my medical check up for enlistment (3 of these as I kept delaying the check up), love letters from secondary school (fun reading them), old photos (thats how all those pics ended up on Facebook), study notes, notebooks from sec sch/JC etc etc. I ended up with 6 bags of trash. If I put all the junk together, I can make a small house for a small cat to live in. And of course, I love my room better now.

I tried my hand on touch rugby (literally) on Saturday Heart.Sports. It was fun. Totally enjoyed myself committing all the bloopers. I remember there was a time the ball came to me and I just stood there processing what to do in my mind. There are so many rules and you have to pay more concern to the rules than to the gameplay itself! But when almost everyone on the field is a newbie, the whole playing field becomes a great breeding ground for clowns and comedians.

I found out the reason for my exponential growth in body mass. Overeating. Last Saturday, I had a massive amount of chicken rice (I must admit it was really good). And this saturday, muslim food. Although I must explain, I never knew the portion was so big (I strongly suspect that the Chicken Nasi Briyani was for 2). One bowl of briyani, 2 pieces of prata topped off with milo dinosaur. Totally sent all the running at touch rugby down the drain. But then again, I can never say no to good food.

Of course, I keep getting reminded that I should be ORDing in 2 weeks time, and the sad thing is, I won't be doing that.

You wake up finding the sun has risen, and that'll be when you realise its not that bad a day afterall.

Exodus 6:4 "I also established my covenant with them to give them the land of Canaan, where they lived as aliens."

Exodus 14:21-23 "Nevertheless, as surely as I live and as surely as the glory of the Lord fills the whole earth, not one of the men who saw my glory and mircaculous signs I performed in Egypt and in the desert but who disobeyed me and tested me ten times - not one of them will ever see the land I promised on oath to their forefathers."

Numbers 20:12 "But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, 'Because you did not trust me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them."

Deuteronomy 34:4 "Then the Lord said to him, 'This is the land I promised on oath to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob when i said, 'I will give it to your descendants.' I have let you see it with your eyes, but you will not cross over into it.'"

Joshua 1:2-3 "Moses my servant is dead. Now then, you and all these people, get ready to cross the Jordan River into the land I am about to give them - to the Israelites. I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses."

Joshua 1:6 "Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them."

Are you like the Israelites? Letting God's promised gift for you slip out of your hands because of some mistake? And now, after going one big round, after spending all the time going in circles, you are right back at the gates to God's promise again. This time, having been changed by your travels, like a new generation of the Israelites, will you take courage, overcome the obstacles that you are facing, enter the land and fight for it, knowing that your God is faithful.

"Why do you go back to doing something you once failed? Because you believe it can be done, because you believe its worth doing, and because all along, you have never really given up."

Life has come to a stand still for me. I can't find the reason why, but everything around me just doesn't seem to matter anymore. "I just do what I have to do, and then I'll just see what happens" has been the kind of attitude that somehow got into me for the past few days. No, its not that I am unhappy about whats going on, I am actually happy, cheerful. I still carry a smile. Its just that things around me, they don't excite me anymore. I don't feel any urgency to do something. And it is actually quite a good thing, my worries are lesser, I don't feel stressed or pressured anymore. It is a good thing.

Somehow, its like I took a step back, or rather, took a step out of my life. Looked at it from a third person view, and not allowing myself to be swallowed by all the worries in my life. As I carried on doing this, I realised that, "hey, life isn't so bad, you just have to not be so concerned about so many things." For example, I don't have to be so concerned about finding a girlfriend. Theres plenty of time, plenty of opportunity for me. Whats the rush? Why am I being pressured by other people? Whats the point of having a girlfriend now anyway?

So now, when something good happens to me, I'll say "hey, thats really good." And if something bad happens to me, I'll say "ah, thats not so good, but its ok, it won't be forever." Or if I have to do something that I don't feel like doing, I'll say "well, lets just get this over and done with." Theres no longer the complication of "oh, what am I gonna do?!". If I get to take a break from work, good. If not, I'll just work, its my job anyway.

Casting unnecessary stress away is definitely a good thing, but it cannot turn me into a passive person. Neither should it turn me into a short sighted person. There must always be an active spirit, having the passion to excel in what we do, and yet at the same time, not creating extra pressure or stress on ourself. And neither can I allow this relax mode to make me lose my foresight, my vision. There must always be plans for the future, but theres no need to be too stressed over something that we do not know about anyway.

For now, all that concerns me are God, family, friends, work. :D

"Only 2 contracts are offered. Only Kelvin and you will be getting it. The rest might be offered the contract only if one of you reject the offer."

When these words hit me, I was lost for words. There had been speculations about there being only 2 positions to fill in the unit but none of us wanted to be too sure about it, we were all hoping that there will be 6. That way all of us would be able to stay together, working together like how we had been for the past 1 year.

However, it was not to be. Turns out the speculations evolved itself to become truth, and the truth is right here in our face. In a way, this is good news for me. It means I secured a contract, a job for the next 6 months. But somehow, the news also stung my heart. Amidst all the flavours of emotions, there was this tinge of sadness, this taste of forlorn.

Lets not say all 6, but the 3 of us in the platoon, we have always been working so closely together. We have been fighting, hoping, trying for this contract. We decided together that we will take on the 6 months as regulars together. We discussed about it at night, over lunch, when we were working. We were ready for it, another 6 months, no problem! And when the decision is finally made that we will go for it, only 1 of us got it?

Besides, I am not even the best in the platoon. My fitness is so off-standard, I am always so lack lustre about my work, always making mistakes. The rest are so much better than I am, reminding me about things, helping to cover for me. The only reason I could think of that put me on the list is the video project.

"So if I don't take up the contract, could I give it to another person?" "No, we have chosen the specific person to take up the particular the project that we will be assigning. Another person might not get the contract even if you don't take it up."

Thats how it is I guess. Even in the working world. Things just won't always go the way we want it. We just have to pick up whatever we got and move on. I applied for the contract today.

In another 39 days, I will be bidding my dear friends goodbye from the army. I will be looking at them holding their pink ICs, waving at me. I will hear news of what jobs they got in the civilian world, and how relax their lives are. And I will be reminded of the fact that I could join them in the rite of ORD, if I had not taken up the offer. I could only do the same in another 6 months. Well, thats the price to pay, I guess.

My 3 Superb Days At F1

Been gone really long, or was I? Haha, doesn't matter, I had a fantastic 3 days at F1 and I just can't help but blog about it, put the memory in words, letting it stay on even as it fades in my brain. F1 Singtel Singapore Grand Prix 2008, thats where I was from 26 till 28th September. And well, I have to say, I had a great time.

Basically, I was at the Marina Bay Circuit from morning till evening, so I was given lots and lots of time to look through everything, soak in as much of the atmosphere as I wanted to. Took lots of pictures. Shopped. Spent lots of money. And of course, watch and listen to roaring engines as the race starts.

Its a really different experience, to be at the race site and to watch the race from a television screen. Theres the atmosphere of the entire area, theres the sound of the engines, the vibrations as the cars roars pass, and theres even the smell of burning rubber when cars brake at where you are. Also, lots of people, from all over the world.

All of the 3 nights, I would just find a nice spot, sit down or stand with my friends, put on my ear plugs, and watch the race. Can you imagine I did it for 3 nights? Haha, I did. And I didn't get bored of it. There were races in the afternoon as well, Aston Martins, Porches, BMW something something, but they can't compare to the F1 night races, haha.

I guess the best day was the last race day. Went shopping in the afternoon, and had to decide what merchandises I would want to buy. After alot of thinking, pondering, considering, I decided to buy this T-shirt from Ferrari with "Massa" on it. I had a hunch that Massa would win the race. I also bought some keychains for my family members, sweet huh? And I have to mention, the attendant who was helping us to get the shirts is so so so so pretty! Haha, but I didn't talk much with her, so wasted. Race started at night after all the track parade and stuff like that. I was so sad, Massa actually lost! Geez, so I went to buy a general F1 shirt after the race. :D

And the best part, I didn't spend a single cent to get to F1. Went there for work, and all I spent was for the merchandise, which really burnt a pretty big hole in my pocket. Work details not included. Hoho.

Jason Mraz - I'm Yours

I really love this song. And the music video. Gives you the feeling that we shouldn't make the simple things in life so complicated and that we can just sit back and enjoy life as it is :D

"If a certain memory brings a smile on your face with you just thinking about it, or it warms your heart and brings a certain feeling of nostalgia, perhaps there is something in you that you simply didn't want to let go of. If so, why not give the reason that you remember them a second chance?"

What are your sweetest memories?

-Adapted from a friend of mine

Discipline Of The Cross

Discipline, as defined in the dictionary, means "behavior in accord with rules of conduct; behavior and order maintained by training and control." As a sergeant in the army myself, one of the roles that I undertake is to be a disciplinarian, and this allowed me to understand very well what discipline is about. To me, discipline is when we do something that we don't want to, or don't feel like doing, in order to achieve something of the greater good, or a particular objective. For example, discipline is needed when we train hard for our IPPT. Not everyone loves to run, but we all have to keep fit, so we instill discipline by running regularly.

Being a disciple of Christ, in other word christian, requires discipline. In fact, the words discipline and disciple, are of the same family. In the old testament, discipline is of great importance. We see in Leviticus all the different rules that are required of the Israelites, and when anyone breaks a rule, they either lose their life, or get cut off from the community. Now, as we live in the Age Of Grace, many people take things for granted, and often neglect the need for discipline in our walk with God.

Discipline is in fact one of the fruit of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22 says "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7 also tells us that "God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."

One of the basic discipline of being a christian, is to be on fire for the things of God. This means to be interested, in doing God's work, and not treat it as just another task that is put upon us. Revelations 3:16 says "So, because you are lukewarm - neither hot nor cold - I am about to spit you out of my mouth." What does being interested mean? It means you WANT to go to church, you WANT to go for church activites, you WANT to do God's work, it means you don't try to come up with excuses so you can skip church. I mean its ok if you have a legitimate reason, like you have to be at school or at work, but when the excuses become "oh, I'm so tired" or "I need to rest", theres a problem. Ask yourself, how much of your time exactly are you giving to God. Is God taking up a big part of your time? How long is a service or G12? 2 hours? Out of 24 hours that God gave us, is it too much to take 2 hours to praise Him?

Another christian discipline is to carry the burden of the cross, to deny ourself. Mark 8:34 says "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Its never easy being a christian. This means to wake up early for church services, sitting through sermons, working to do this and that. However, thats something we need to do. Sometimes we are so tired that we don't feel like waking up to go to church. Thats when we need to reflect upon ourselves. Why are we so tired? Is it because of work? Or is it simply because we stayed up late the night before? If we know that we will not be able to wake up in time for church the next morning, then shouldn't we sleep earlier? Why is it that we can pull ourselves up from bed to go to work or school, but not to church? These rhetorical questions seems simple enough, but we need to be asking that ourselves. Going to church and falling asleep constantly through the sermon does not suffice as well. It only shows how interested we are in learning God's word.

Discipline is never a pleasant thing. It means that we have to sacrifice something in order to achieve another thing. We have to sacrifice the time we have with our friends, we have to sacrifice going to the movies, or playing our favourite computer games, but for eternal salvation, is it too much to sacrifice these things for God? And when I say sacrifice, I am not even saying abstaining from these things, we are just going for less late night movies, not playing games late into the night and stuff like that. Thats all. Is it really too much to ask for? We need to see whats beyond the discipline. The results of these sacrifices. Hebrews 12:11 says "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

Once we understand why there is the need for discipline in our christian walk, we won't find it so hard anymore. This is when we have a vision, and when we work towards the vision. Those that I mentioned are just very basic discipline, going to church, being on fire and stuff like that. In fact, there are alot of disciplines involved in being Christ's disciple. Then again, for eternal salvation, is it too much to ask for? If these disciplines are required of a member, a believer, what more of a spiritual leader? Let us take note of ourselves, and improve upon our own disciplines so that we can serve our God better and bring Him even greater glory.

Don't Call The Wrong Number

Another funny ad. Make sure you dial the right number before saying anything.

Issues With Leadership

Recently, I had certain issues with some leadership in the church and I can say it wasn't a very good thing. Due to some reasons, I felt that certain leaders weren't up to the mark and that it doesn't seem to make sense to do so much for them. But I prayed about it, and I learnt alot from this encounter. So I am just sharing what I learnt.

Not everybody is perfect. Everyone has their issues, and everyone has their problems. Same goes with leaders. We can't expect them to be always that shining light that they were supposed to be. People fall and pick themselves up. We can't fault them for that. I am not perfect myself. Even Moses had the help of Aaron to cover for his imperfection of speech. There are just times when things are just in the low for people, and we should be helping them to pick up, and not bring them down. There are times when even those in leadership needs a helping hand, when they need someone to support them. Exodus 17:12 "When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up - one on one side, one on the other - so that his hands remained steady till sunset." This way, the Israelites won the war against the Amalekites.

We should never doubt the anointed. That is really important. No matter how bad they have performed, or how they failed in certain things, we should never have doubts about the anointed, or even worse, to oppose them. These people are chosen by God, and they are chosen for a reason. To doubt them would be to doubt God. We see in 1 Samuel 24, that Saul was pursuing David and even had the intentions of taking David's life. However, even when Saul was so obviously falling, and even when David had the opportunity to take Saul's life, he never did. Thats because he respected the anointed, he respected those that God chose, and thats why he spared Saul's life again and again. In the end, we saw that David was greatly blessed by the Lord when he became king of Israel.

Opposing the anointed has serious consequences. Like what I said earlier, opposing those chosen by God is in fact opposing God Himself. God chose His servants, and they are on His side. By opposing them, we are in fact going on the opposite side, needless to say, not being on God's side is pretty much very serious. We see in Numbers 12 that Miriam and Aaron opposed Moses "because of his Cushite wife." In fact, what they did was that they found fault with Moses. What happened next was quite expected. In Numbers 12:9, it says "The anger of the Lord burned against them, and he left them." In the end, Miriam was stricken with leprosy and was confined outside the Israelite camp for seven days. It is indeed no joke to oppose the anointed.

Therefore, it is very important for us to respect the authority that leaders have. If we see any problems with the leadership, it is not our role to oppose them, or to rebuke them. It is in fact our job to support them, to help them in any way we can, to top up whatever that is of shortfall. But before we even look into the imperfections of other people, leaders and members alike, let us examine ourselves, and correct ourselves first. Luke 6:41, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"

The Hot Water Bottle

Well, this is actually a true story by Helen Roseveare, a doctor missionary from England to Zaire, Africa during the 1950s. Very nice story about God's faithfulness.

One night, in Central Africa, I had worked hard to help a mother in the labor ward; but in spite of all that we could do, she died leaving us with a tiny, premature baby and a crying, two-year-old daughter.

We would have difficulty keeping the baby alive. We had no incubator. We had no electricity to run an incubator, and no special feeding facilities. Although we lived on the equator, nights were often chilly with treacherous drafts.

A student-midwife went for the box we had for such babies and for the cotton wool that the baby would be wrapped in. Another went to stoke up the fire and fill a hot water bottle. She came back shortly, in distress, to tell me that in filling the bottle, it had burst. Rubber perishes easily in tropical climates. "...and it is our last hot water bottle!" she exclaimed. As in the West, it is no good crying over spilled milk; so, in Central Africa it might be considered no good crying over a burst water bottle. They do not grow on trees, and there are no drugstores down forest pathways. All right," I said, "Put the baby as near the fire as you safely can; sleep between the baby and the door to keep it free from drafts. Your job is to keep the baby warm."

The following noon, as I did most days, I went to have prayers with many of the orphanage children who chose to gather with me. I gave the youngsters various suggestions of things to pray about and told them about the tiny baby. I explained our problem about keeping the baby warm enough, mentioning the hot water bottle. The baby could so easily die if it got chilled. I also told them about the two-year-old sister, crying because her mother had died. During the prayer time, one ten-year-old girl, Ruth, prayed with the usual blunt consciousness of our African children. "Please, God," she prayed, "send us a water bottle. It'll be no good tomorrow, God, the baby'll be dead; so, please send it this afternoon." While I gasped inwardly at the audacity of the prayer, she added by way of corollary, " ...And while You are about it, would You please send a dolly for the little girl so she'll know You really love her?" As often with children's prayers, I was put on the spot. Could I honestly say, "Amen?" I just did not believe that God could do this. Oh, yes, I know that He can do everything: The Bible says so, but there are limits, aren't there? The only way God could answer this particular prayer would be by sending a parcel from the homeland. I had been in Africa for almost four years at that time, and I had never, ever received a parcel from home. Anyway, if anyone did send a parcel, who would put in a hot water bottle? I lived on the equator!

Halfway through the afternoon, while I was teaching in the nurses' training school, a message was sent that there was a car at my front door. By the time that I reached home, the car had gone, but there, on the veranda, was a large twenty-two pound parcel! I felt tears pricking my eyes. I could not open the parcel alone; so, I sent for the orphanage children. Together we pulled off the string, carefully undoing each knot. We folded the paper, taking care not to tear it unduly. Excitement was mounting. Some thirty or forty pairs of eyes were focused on the large cardboard box. From the top, I lifted out brightly colored, knitted jerseys. Eyes sparkled as I gave them out. Then, there were the knitted bandages for the leprosy patients, and the children began to look a little bored. Next, came a box of mixed raisins and sultanas - - that would make a nice batch of buns for the weekend. As I put my hand in again, I felt the...could it really be? I grasped it, and pulled it out. Yes, "A brand-new rubber, hot water bottle!" I cried. I had not asked God to send it; I had not truly believed that He could. Ruth was in the front row of the children. She rushed forward, crying out, "If God has sent the bottle, He must have sent the dolly, too!" Rummaging down to the bottom of the box, she pulled out the small, beautifully dressed dolly. Her eyes shone: She had never doubted! Looking up at me, she asked, "Can I go over with you, Mummy, and give this dolly to that little girl, so she'll know that Jesus really loves her?"

That parcel had been on the way for five whole months, packed up by my former Sunday School class, whose leader had heard and obeyed God's prompting to send a hot water bottle, even to the equator. One of the girls had put in a dolly for an African child -- five months earlier in answer to the believing prayer of a ten-year-old to bring it "That afternoon!" "And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear." Isaiah 65:24

You Can't Run, and You Can't Hide Either

If whoever is still reading this blog has been catching up with local news, they would very well know that the "Venerable Shi Ming Yi", aka "Ming Yi Fa Shi", aka "The Monk who does stunts on charity shows" or whatever you want to call him, has been charged on court for forgery, conspiracy, and misuse of funds, crimes not unlike that of TT Durai during the NKF saga.

Well, the point of this post is not about this case anyway, so if you want to know more, just grab a local newspaper or go onto our local news website. It would be interesting to note that Ming Yi's name was actually Goh Kah Heng.

Seeing this news brings about very mixed feelings in me. This monk, unlike TT Durai, just seem so sincere with his love for people. He even performed stunts on charity shows so other people will donate more money. I remember a particular episode when he was walking on tight wire between 2 buildings and he nearly fell and everybody went "AHHH", but he didn't really fall as he was wearing a safety harness and almost everyone on tv was crying, or near tears for the monk on the wire, fearing for his safety, and the number of phone donations was soaring. You would never have believed this monk was going to face charges in court, never.

Some of us are probably living the same drama. Keeping some dark secrets, having some secret sins in our life. I am not talking about forgery or conspiracy. It could be as simple having a bad attitude, or having a tongue that lies to the people around you, or whatever. We feel that if we keep mum about it, and if we put on a very fantastic lifestyle in front of our friends, put on a strong and perfect front, no one will ever know about our secrets.

However, that is exactly the problem. The more we put up a front, the more perfect we seem, the greater the fall when our front is broken. If it was any Ah Seng or Ah Beng or Ah Kow being charged for forgery and conspiracy, it wouldn't have been such a big deal. But it is former head of the Ren Ci Hospital we are talking about, and thats a different story. You see how it makes a difference?

So you see, the problem does not lie in our weakness, but in our effort to cover up these weaknesses. Nobody is created perfect. Everybody has a weakness. Everybody sins. Yes, its a problem, but hiding it is an even greater problem isn't it? Sin is like yeast, the longer we cover it, the more it will grow in us. We see in Matthew 16:6 "Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees."

If we do not hide it, that does not mean we go around lying blatantly, showing our bad attitude to everyone around us. We do not hide it, but we have to solve the problem. And the only way to solve the problem is to let God handle it. God already knows all our problems, and He surely knows the solution out of them. Jeremiah 17:9-10 says "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? "I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve.""

So how do we go about it? We simply surrender. We surrender our weaknesses, our yeasts, and God will turn them into strength and cleansing. Isaiah 40:29-31 says "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, even young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not be weary, they will walk and not faint."

It may sound really hard, surrendering. That would mean we put down our pride, admit to our mistakes and weaknesses, and open ourselves to accuses and insults and probably some people might even look down on us. But if we really think about it, wouldn't hiding the truth and letting someone else find it out be worse? Thats God's kind of economy. Only when we truly admit and repent our mistakes can we grow stronger. 1 Corinthians 1:27 says "But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong."

So let us surrender, and not run or hide. Theres really no point running or hiding from God who is omniscient. Though it may sound foolish, the only wise thing to do is to surrender to God, and let God change our weaknesses into strengths.

1 Corinthians 5:7 "Get rid of the old yeast that you may be a new batch without yeast - as you really are."

About Growing OLD

I'm probably not in the best position, age, or even condition to write about this, but you don't have to be old to write about growing old anyway. Its just something thats been stuck in my mind for sometime, and when something is stuck in my mind, I will feel like writing it down. So to all respectable old folks out there, please don't start flaming me yet.

I've been thinking, what will happen when I grow old? I'm not talking about who'll be my grandchildren, or my children, or if I will have enough retirement funds. No. These things are a little beyond me at the moment. I'm just saying, what will happen when I grow old, when my body isn't what it is anymore. What will happen? What will happen, when my arm refuses to listen to my commands, when I can't get myself off the bed, when I can't walk to the nearby coffeeshop in the time I used to do? I don't have the answer.

I have not arrived yet. But I do know one thing. Time waits for no man. Every second we are growing old. My friend told me "once you reach 20 the years fly by and there's no turning back!" I didn't know where that came from, but it holds certain truth, no matter how evil it may sound to someone who just turned 20.

Theres no turning back. No one can turn back time. I watched one of the old Superman movies and I remember there was one part when Superman tried to turn back time. What he did was just fly around the Earth at ultra speeds and then making the Earth rotate backwards. In the movie, he did succeed in turning back time. But all of us know that even if anyone is capable of making the Earth rotate backwards, time won't turn back.

So rather than think about whats going to happen when I grow old, I would rather think about what I should do now, at this age and time. You see, I may never get a chance to grow old. The bible says no one knows the things of tomorrow except the Father. I might not even need to wait untill I am 70 or 80 before I start losing the function of an arm, a leg, or having a failed kidney, or liver. And I haven't even mentioned anything about death.

It is real. Our body is not invincible. At my age, at 20, my prime, I sometimes feel that my body is invincible. I can eat anything, do anything, try anything and my body won't fail me. My bones won't break, my heart won't fail. But that is very very wrong. I've seen cases of people who died at my age, who broke a bone, who lost functions of their body at my age. What if I can longer type, I can no longer write? We never know what will happen to us.

To me, everyday I wake up feeling fine, is due to the grace of God. Everyday is a gift, and the sunrise is proof of God's faithfulness to us. And because of this, my time of being fit and healthy must not go to waste. Everytime I get a chance to do something for God, everytime I get to do something meaningful, everytime I get to make people around me happier, I will have to do it. It is a duty.

Don't complain when we need to go and do a physical training, or when we need to study for a particular test, or when we need to go and help out at a certain event, or even just helping to clear up after an event. Do it, because you still have the chance and capability to do so.

Don't let our youth, strength and time go to waste doing meaningless things. Don't wait untill we no longer have to chance to do certain things then we regret it. If we need to apologise to somebody, do it. If we need to make it up for somebody coz of something we did, do it. If we need to share the gospel with a friend, do it. Don't wait untill we don't have the chance and then we start to regret it. Regret is futile, it does not bring about anything. Regret will not turn back time, it will not give us another chance. So let there not be any regret in our future. But let there be fulfillment, be joy and peace in our future, because we know we have done what we needed to do.

PS, you never know when you'll be down with brain tumor, stroke, cancer, heart failure, kidney failure, liver failure, or even amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), a disease which disables your nervous system from the control of your muscles.

James 4:13-14 "Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this and that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."

Proverbs 27:1 "Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth."

Life Offers Endless Possibilities

I like this video, and maybe a little pepsi. Enjoy :D

My Entrance Into 20land

I know this is a little outdated, but I am 20. Yes, 20 and 24 days old today. And er... yes, I do feel older. You know, getting onto the 20s platform, losing the identity of the 'teen'. A friend of mine told me I can now be called a 'tween', but I felt that was just being someone who don't wish to grow out of the teen, so its alright.

Seeing the slight importance of this particular birthday, and little inspiration from some of my friends, I decided that I would organise, and hold my own birthday celebration, rather than have someone else do and wait for a surprise. And being the me that I am, I decided not to go for nice and classy places, but rather, go for the 'dig in to the good food and forget where or who you are' kind of place. Thats why for my 20th birthday, I had a dinner at Melben Seafood @ Toa Payoh, 7 days after my exact birthdate.

Details of the dinner: 5 LARGE crabs (1 in beehoon, 2 Black Pepper, 2 Cream/Butter thingy), fish, pork ribs, oatmeal prawns, sambal kangkong. 8 peeps were there. All of us were satisfied. Muahaha. Meal was about s$340+ though. o_O

After the wonderful dinner, the group trotted off to Junction 8, coz it was near, and there was an intention of catching a movie. However, upon arrival, it was decided that there shall be no movie coz all the timings were really bad. So we just walked around. Went to the arcade, played some games. It was fun, not coz of the games, but very largely coz of the company that was around me, and there being some old friends whom I have not seen for some time. Friends are really important.

Then it was chilling time. We chilled at er... KFC. Haha, there was no where better anyway. Trina and Luke decided to go shopping, which really didn't seem usual but I have no idea why I didn't suspect anything at that time. They probably went for like an 1hr, and I was getting really ZzZzZ, and then they came back. Gave me a present which was really nice, and there was also a cake. 2 LARGE candles. Hai, coming of age there, Don. And I blew out the candles, served out the cake, and thought to myself "good, no pranks of face to cake smashing". But I was wrong, just as I digged into my own cake, a hand came out of nowhere and there it was, cake to face smashing.

After that we all just went on our way home. It was a splendid night though. And I went home to find out I have more new shirts to wear and a new bible to read. Really wonderful.

God Of The Moon And Stars

Wonderful clip. For those who haven't seen it before, just to share it :D

Getting A Tan

Recently, due to a trip to Sentosa with my platoon mates, I became very dark. Yes, its called a tan, I know. And what I am happy about is, thank God, I didn't get sunburnt. So that means no ugly peeling and white patches on my face or body. But my topic isn't "How To Get Tan", its about getting a tan. Its about patience.

Well, how do our skin get dark? We go to the sun, get a little bit of it, and we become dark, a little. And if we get too much of sun, we get burnt, sunburn, and thats when all the peeling comes. So how do we get tan without getting burnt? We take in the tan little by little.

Many people who go suntanning (if theres such a word) tend to stay under sun for hours. And when they are done, they look red like cooked lobsters and the next thing they know, they start peeling and all that lying under the sun goes to waste. Thats not how you get tan.

Those who look real dark, even darker than I am, are those who take in the sun bit by bit. Many are sportsman, canoeist, rock climbers, tennis players, soccer players. The reason why they are so tan, is because they take in the sun every single day, and not hours on a single day.

Thats how some things in our life works sometimes. We want something and we try to get it as quickly as possible. We just don't seem to have any patience. We, myself included, feel that if we don't get it now, its gonna be gone. Well, sometimes its true, but there are things that really need us to have lots of patience. Like, relationships.

You see, not everything is like instant noodles. Just pour in the water and you get to eat. Some things are like a tan. If you just lump all your energy into one effort and rush it, you are bound to have a disaster on your hand. But if you choose to take it slowly, going into the sun regularly and not for too long at a time, you might just get what you want.

Its gonna take awhile. But its better than getting nothing when you rush things. And if you want to get a tan, try to go into the sun a little more regularly, and not too long at a go to avoid a burn.

A Few Changes

Ah, a few changes been made to my blog.

Basically, the skin's been changed. Thats to give a fresh look to this super OLD blog. Its been like 3 and a half years! Colours changed a little. But style still sticks, thats coz being the html idiot that I am, I have to use the skins provided by Blogger, haha.

And I added this tagboard onto the blog, for anyone who feels like tagging. Well, I'll say its on trial. If it doesn't work out, I guess I'll pull it off.

Also took away the music. Well, not that its not nice to have music. Its just that it can sometimes get a little irritating when you don't want it. I'm looking into options whereby you can turn it off when you don't feel like having any music. I'm still looking.

Well, so whats up with my absence from blogging in the past month? No drive, no inspiration. That sums it up. Been busy with some other things as well. Work, friends. But I guess I can't leave this blog for dead anyway. Its my only publication. Sort of.

Lets Get Inspired

Imagine hearing this speech before you go into a football game.

Mom, I Love You

I read a certain story of a mother and found the idea pretty touching. So I decided to take that, and rewrite the story with my own touch. I hope this works. Here goes:

I hated my mother. I despised her. I always wished I had another mother. I wish I had a normal mother. And not this mother who only has one eye.

Since the time I could remember things, my mother only had one eye. When I was young, I used to ask her about it, and she only tell me it was an accident that made her lose an eye. It didn't have much impact when I was still very young, but as I grew up, I began to be afraid of letting other people know that my mother only had one eye. I was afraid of letting others know about my abnormal mother.

I remember almost everyday she would ask me to look at how beautiful this world is, to appreciate its beauty, to thank God for all the colours and wonders we can see in this world. I hate it when she keeps saying that to me. To me, its almost as if she's asking me to look at this world for her because she lost an eye. Its almost as if I was the one who made her lose an eye. I never said that to her. I just kept ignoring her.

There was once when I was at primary school. I forgot to bring an assignment which I finished last night. I didn't want to call my mother to bring it for me because I was afraid all the kids at school would see her. Besides, she's got to work at this time. So I kept quiet. But then, during my break time, while I was with my friends, I saw her carrying my assignment, walking towards me. Her, with only one eye, walkng to me in front of all my friends. I was so embarrassed and frustrated. She came over to me, smiling, and said "you left your homework on the table..." Before she could finish, I ran over to her, threw her a hateful look, grabbed my homework and ran off. She embarrassed me in front of all my friends.

The next day at school, all my friends were saying, "EEEEE, your mother only has one eye!!!" I was totally embarrassed. My mother had ruined me. I wanted to bury myself somewhere and not let others know where I was. I wanted my mother to just disappear. I wanted a normal mother. After school, I went home, in tears. Mother was waiting for me at the door, smiling. I went up to her, and screamed, "IF YOU ARE ONLY OUT TO MAKE ME A LAUGHING STOCK, WHY DON'T YOU JUST DIE?!?" My mother didn't reply me. She kept silent. The smile dropped off her face. I didn't care. I was very angry. I just pushed her aside and went into my room.

Since that day, I told myself I will work very hard to get out of the house, to get away from my mother. So I studied extremely hard, got a scholarship, got into an overseas university. After graduation, I got a job, got a house, got married, had kids. I was very happy with my life. I was very comfortable. My mother wrote to me almost every week. I didn't bother to read a single one of those letter.

One day, the doorbell rang. I opened the door and there she is. My mother, with only one eye. I was stunned. Then my children came along, saw my mum and cried. They were crying, "Why does she only has one eye?". At this, I was furious. I shouted at her, "Why do have to keep coming and screw up my life?!? Why do you have to scare my children like that?! GET OUT OF HERE NOW!" My mother was a little shocked, but she just answered quietly, "Oh.. sorry..." She passed me a letter. I tore it up into 2 right in front of her. She looked at my children and me for awhile. I told her "Fugh off." She turned and walked away slowly. I didn't realise this was the first time she saw her grandchildren.

I got a call from some of my friends from my old home town to gather for some reunion. So I went. I went to the town where I used to live in. After the reunion, I decided to go back to the old house to take a look. Not at my mother, but the house, since its where I spent my childhood in. I knocked on the door and no one answered. Then the neighbour came out and saw me. She asked if I was the son. I was reluctant but I said yes anyway. It was then that she told me my mother had passed away.

Then the neighbour said, "Oh, theres this letter which she asked me to help post it to you, I forgot about it, so I might as well give it to you now." She went into the house and came out to pass me a letter. I read it. It reads:

To my dearest son,

I am so sorry for coming to your house that day and scared your children. I heard that you are coming for the reunion. I am so happy you are finally coming back here. Please come and visit me ok? I am afraid I can't even get out of my bed now so I can't find you anymore.

I am so sorry for always being an embarrassment to you when you were growing up. You know, I was really happy that day to be able to see you with a happy life, a nice house, a nice family, and children! I am so happy to see your children! But you must treat your children nicely ok?

Actually, when you were just a very very small kid, you got into an accident and you lost one of your eye. I couldn't bear to look at you having to grow up with only one eye, so I asked the doctor to transfer one of my eye to you.

I am so happy for you, as you looked on cheerfully at all the beautiful creations God has made for us. I wanted you to be able to appreciate all the beautiful things that you could see. I am always very proud that you were able to see a whole new world with that eye that I gave you. That you were able to see these things in my place.

I love you.

Mother.

I shedded a tear. I touched my eyes. I could feel my mother in me. I could feel my mother's love in me. This love has been with me all my life. It helped me see things clearly. It helped me to lead a normal life. I shedded a tear.

Mom, I love you.

SICK

Argh, I am feeling ooooooooh so terrible at this moment. Flu, cough, headache and a not so good stomach! I mean, I totally don't feel good at all.

It all started last week. I was already feeling abit weak, but not entirely sick yet. Well, I just held on, staying healthy, praying and preparing myself for the blood donation. You CANNOT fall sick before blood donation. NO NO.

Last week was bad stomach. Due to an overdose of milk. Kinda drank milk like crazy for the past few weeks, and for no apparent reason. It was not as if I wanted to grow taller or what. I just felt like drinking milk. And then thats all. Was alright all the way till blood donation on Saturday.

I successfully donated my blood and was pretty happy about it. Then things started to happen. I went to watch Cloverfield that night with some secondary school friends. And all the camera shaking and movement gave me a big headache. Then on Sunday, my nose was starting to give me problems. And on Sunday night, I went back to camp to do some work, and my whole body was like totally giving up on me. Head felt like it was more than a ton, I couldn't stand properly. And worse still, had to work all the way untill like around 1am. Was so tired.

So Monday morning, woke up to go study. Felt totally crap. My nose turned into an open tap. I had to use alot of tissue paper. Actually, its not really an open tap. More like a choked tap. Nose kept on getting stuck, couldn't breathe properly. Came back home and was coughing like mad.

And then here I am. Feeling totally like crap. And I didn't mention, stupid leg of mine is having these blisters which I don't even know where it came from. Hurts whenever I walk. Sigh, really pray that God will heal me.

1st Post Of 2008, after 21 days...

Hm, seems like a pretty long time since I updated this little page of mine. Not like anyone is looking forward to an update or even reads this page constantly for something new (to those who actually do, you have my greatest appreciation, you people drive me!) Ok, so I guess I'll just do a post about what happened to me in this year so far. Well, these 21 days...

Basically, work. Lots of work. Had my different duties and all the other side jobs piled on me even when the year just started. Got made to rush back to camp once for an emergency that actually appeared on papers! (I shan't give any details in fear of something called Military Security Department, oops, did I say too much?) And of coz, alot of my personal issues with friends and people relations.

I don't know what people mean by 'a good start to a year'. Do you have to go on a holiday and relax in some unknown corner of the world to have a good start? Or would just doing your normal everyday work at the start of the year count as well? But well, for me, any start of the year is a good start. At least the old year's gone and theres something new to coming up.

Ok, a few things. My G12 (which is a cell group of some sort), CCK3, got certified last year. We got some T-shirts and some vouchers. Well, anything works. And then, I made a resolution of not getting *&#$% more than 100 times in this year by my superiors, which I have a very bad feeling I am not going to fulfill. I am also being very encouraged by my superiors who keeps on insisting that I must go and learn driving before I ORD from the army. Ok, I guess I will have to get my lazy bum up and put more effort into that. And, I also made plans to change my outlook and fashion sense, with the help of a few friends, get some new shirts and jeans for myself. I don't mind putting some money into it.

Ok, paragraph got too long. I am also embarking on a very secret mission which only a few of my friends know (and no, its not military related), and I am sincerely praying this mission will be a success. And, and I am pulling up my socks and putting in more effort to reading. This is in preparation for university which will be happening next year. Been slacking a pretty bit on my fitness, so I guess I will have to be bucking up on that as well.

Well, I guess thats about it. I have been on course since last wednesday and will be untill this friday. Kinda like a break from all the work in camp. All I do is just go and study at the course, learning some law crap and security stuff. And I get to stay at home and sleep as well! And of course, no more rushing back to Changi in the night to book in. I can find some friends and hang out with them at night. Pretty cool. Yeah... yeah...