Wonder where i had gone to for such a long time? Haha, for all those who know, yep, I have been on Pulau Tekong. Doing what? National Service! Yes yes, I am botak and am officially known as National Serviceman Full-Time. And I can only spend my life on the mainland during weekends. Yes, it sounds pathetic. It is.
It has been 3 weeks since I was first enlisted on 12th January 2007. 2 weeks confinement and this is second time I booked out of camp. 3 weeks in the army has changed me quite abit. Being a soldier is really quite a life-changing experience. Put it simply, I get to do things I have never done before in my entire life. Just some examples:
- Holding and being responsible for a rifle that can kill someone
- Sitting inside a 5-tonner and rolling down a street
- Living on an island away from home for 2 weeks
- Bathing without doors
Well, getting used to army life already. It seems normal to march here and there, getting shouted at, running around like crazy, doing lots of pumping, lots of exercise, queue up for 10 minutes for lunch etc etc. In fact, it was pretty easy for me physically. Doing all the push ups and stuff. The hard part was the emotional part. Not being able to see my friends, my family. Can't spend enough time with the people you treasure. The only source of communication you have with the outside world is just that pathetic handphone of yours. Or maybe the payphone.
And when you come back from your 1st bookout, some things changed. Some friends have forgotten about you. Some people you treasured have left your side. Only a handful are left to support you, glad to see you well and fine. Glad to see you are back in the gang again.
Relationships have strained. Some of the relationships can't stand the test. Some can. Some friends stood by my side. Some friends strayed off from me. Perhaps this was the real test to help me know who are the people that matter most to me, and those that I should treasure more.
One thing I learnt in NS is PATIENCE. Wait and wait and wait. Just wait for things to happen. To be honest, I was a very impatient man. Always wanting to rush into things. To get things done ASAP. But that can't always be the case. In NS, I learnt patience. That I have to wait for a certain timing for certain things to happen. For lunch, for training, for bookout. Everything. If I want to rush things and make things happen, it would jumble up the schedule. And things won't be efficient. I can wait because I know my commanders will make sure things happen accordingly.
This applies to my life as well. All along I was rushing into things. And when God promise me something, I want it done now and here. I couldn't wait. And then things just get messed up. And I fall and had to stand up and start all over again. I was just doing devotion in camp one night and God spoke to me. Why couldn't I wait? I can wait for my commanders because I trust them to fulfill the schedule. Does that mean I didn't trust God to fulfill His will? It was then I realised my impatience. That I must start to really trust God to fulfill His will in His timing in His own way. Listening and obeying every instructions from God just like what I do with my commanders because I know God only wants the best for me and He knows better. Because at the end of the day, everything is just going to be all right.
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