Captain-ship

"How's YCG leadership ministry going along for you?"

This question plays in my head like... like... iTunes that hanged and therefore sounds like a broken music player.

I understand everybody's concerns and all, but really, what do you expect me to say? I'm still trying to find my way around, I'm still unclear about many things and I really don't know what I should say.

"Well, it's been alright."

And well, it has been, actually.

The ride has been rather smooth so far. Initiatives such as the YCG bonding session were implemented pretty okay. We've set down the new plan and direction for my YCG. Everything is moving along pretty well.

However, it's been only a week and I have already learnt my first lesson of being in the YCG ministry: Faith.

I'm someone who loves to have things in control. In whatever I do, I want to know the plans, I want to know my options, I want to know the possible outcomes, I want to know the steps. I want to be able to know what to do at which step and what might happen and what to do when that something happen.

It's something I picked up from my army experience, really. Because when I am put out there to do the things I do, I've got to have the whole gameplan in my mind. No one's going to prompt me, no one's going to give me warning signs or tell me I'm going in a wrong direction. One wrong move and... well, shan't say more.

But anyway, I am like that. And I brought this mentality into the ministry. I worked out the plan for my YCG, I identify problems, I start a few initiatives. It's been okay, but not everything is as I would have expected it to be.

First week into the ministry and I'm made to be the captain of the mini-soccer team that we are having. Now this is something a little different. I've never had to go source for manpower for anything before. Manpower is usually given to me whenever I need something done. This time, I had to go figure out who I should call, call them and really really PRAY and HOPE that they will turn up on Saturday.

This is not the army. I don't tell the guy to come and expect him to come because I am going to give him extra duties or confinement if he doesn't turn up. Here, I ask if the guy will come and really hope that he will come because it doesn't matter to him whether he turns up or not. It's not as if I know them very well. It's not as if I am their greatest buddy whom they can't disappoint. I am just another leader getting the team together.

And this where faith comes in. I am not the phone-chatter type. So for me to pick up the phone and ask people if they are coming for soccer the next day is a pretty foreign thing to me. I did consider the usage of SMS, but really, I want to connect with them. I don't want to just send a mass sms and let them know of the time and venue.

What should I say to them? How do I connect with them? How do I let them know that I am sincerely asking them to come and enjoy a game of soccer tomorrow?

I don't know. I really really don't know. All I know was that I have to mutter a prayer and just pick up my phone and call them and hope they pick up their phone. They did. One by one, they picked up their phone, and I just managed to so casually strike up a conversation with them.

In the end, they all came. They all turned up on the pitch, all ready to have fun and play soccer. Really, it didn't matter that we won (which I am also happy about), but all that mattered was that they all came down in full support. That's what touched me the most.

And that's how it is with faith. It's not about doing the things that we are good at, that we know what to do, that we already have a plan for. It's really about doing the complete opposite and trusting God to help you with it.

This is only the beginning of my journey. There are many things ahead of me that I really have no idea how to accomplish. Things that are so foreign, so new, so unfamiliar to me. Things like calling people up and asking how their life is and having "follow-up" with them. I can ask all the leaders that I want to, but ultimately I will need faith and God's help to find the right words and the right things to say and ask.

I don't know everything. But really, I don't need to know everything.