Sunday, April 25, 2010

'Cause you bring out the best in me, like no one else can do.

Dear Students,

It has been brought to my attention that some of you did not procure the prescribed course texts. Only the Aeneid, the Metamorphoses and the Confessions are not available on edventure. I will allow you to bring alternative editions of these three texts into the exam as long as you e-mail me publication details of the alternative texts you're using prior to the exam. Anyone caught plagiarizing from the critical apparatus on these books will be crucified upside down.

I realise that the bookshop failed to order the books, but in the age of internet shopping - which some of you appear to be able to do even while listening to lectures - there's absolutely no excuse for not having the right books for your classes. Please do not come into my classes in future with this kind of careless attitude. I was very emphatic at the start of the semester about the requirement that we all read the same editions of these texts.

I realised today that my lecturer has been harbouring a great amount of hatred for us which has penultimately led up to the sending of this email, threatening to crucify us upside down. On hindsight, I wonder if those throwing of greek-bombs at us, such as 'method = meta + hodos', were really ways of getting back at us for not finishing the required readings or for the few people who can't keep their mouths shut during lectures.

I realised also, that if he indeed had been harbouring such a great amount of hatred, we could be in really deep trouble this Wednesday.

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