Anyway, the fact that I am blogging again doesn't mean that my exams are over. On the contrary, well, what else could be on the contrary? It's not over. There's still another paper in a week's time on Friday, and you know what? I don't give 2 cents about it. Well, actually I do la (I'm still not that crazy), but there's still ample time as it is a relatively easy paper, in my opinion. Media writing, you get a story and some other stuff, you write a news report and a press release. Er, maybe not that simple, but I'll start revising probably on Monday and shall take this weekend to breathe.
Exams were really, urgh. Smoke-out for most parts, especially HL107 Classical Lit, because I am so ill-prepared for it because I don't know how to prepare for it. I've never written such short essays for a lit exam before (2 pages). Okay, maybe I have. But that's not the point, the essays are still too short for examination standards! MB107 Business Law is worrying too. I felt I did okay for the paper because I covered almost all the areas in the questions, but people are coming to me and telling me that they are glad they S/Ued (not sued) the paper, or telling me that they flunk it, such that I am getting a little worried myself. The worst thing for an academic is to NOT KNOW that you do not know some things. You think you know what you are doing, but you actually do not know it, and then you will screw up real bad. If Socrates is considered to be the wisest man in history because he knows that he does not know, then the opposite can be easily translated as stupidity.
One of the more prominent thoughts in my head recently is self-identity. I've been asking myself, how much do I really know about who I am. Okay, just some technical stuff for those interested. Self-identity is separated into 4 parts known as the Johari Window. So there are parts that are known to the self, unknown to the self, known to others, unknown to others. So when you put these parts into a matrix, you get the 4 areas in the Johari Window: OPEN, BLIND, HIDDEN, UNKNOWN. Just like in the diagram below.
Alright, that's the brief introduction to self-concept. The diagram is really just for reference anyway, because in actuality, our identity is not as equally spaced out as the diagram shows. Some people have hidden areas that are extremely huge (which is really common anyway), while others have huge blind areas, so on and so forth.
Okay, and that's it for self-concept. Thank you for paying attention to Don's self-concept 101 lecture
Anyway, yes, so by thinking about my self-identity, what I really want to know is, just how much of myself do I not know, and what are these things actually? If you refer to the Johari Window, that's the blind and unknown area for me.
Sometimes I really feel that I do not know myself very well. You ever get the feeling sometimes? Like there some things that you have no idea why you do them, some words that you have no idea why you say and some feelings that you have no idea why you feel. And sometimes, people gets irritated or angry at you and you don't even know why. Such events really call for some self-reflection and character enhancement
Okay, and since we are at the topic (I thought of switching topic at this point but decided to just stick to one topic per post and talk about other stuff in other posts) of identity, I suppose it's good talk about the HIDDEN area as well. If you don't know yet, you should probably know now that people are very much not what they seem to be. There are those who are more real than others, but what you see in almost everybody is easily just the tip of the iceberg.
An iceberg is the perfect example (though overused) for identity. Like an iceberg, most people only show a small small small portion of who they are in the outside world. Only the tip of the iceberg floats on the surface of the water, while the rest of it lies submerged in the water. For those who knows psychoanalysis, this "iceberg" is the super-ego, ego and id (from surface to bottom). I'm not just saying someone who's a hypocrite or have multiple identities, even the simplest and innocent and pure person falls under this theory as well.
You can be as real as you want, but the truth remains that everybody hides something from everyone else. It could be romantic feelings for some people, it could be some inferiority complex, it could be some feeling of inadequacy among friends, it could be anything. But whatever it may be, people hide things for a reason. Some times it's good for some things to be revealed, but most times it's better to just remain quiet about it until an appropriate moment, or not speak about it at all.
So to round it all up before this post gets too long and becomes something you get from a textbook (which it probably already seems like its becoming), it is good that if you find out a secret or something hidden from somebody, it's really best that you keep it to yourself unless you really have to do otherwise. Don't be a gossiper, or you'll easily be the one gossiped about. You know full well that you have your own secrets to be kept as well.
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