Missing

Its been 4 days since the incident happened on Sunday, 5th November 2006. Still I can't seem to recover from what happened. I can't believe how badly affected I really am. I miss her so badly. I thought it was going to be alright. That I will recover after awhile. But no, its getting worse. Its getting worse day after day.

Almost every second I will thinking of her. Pictures of her will flash past my mind one after the other. Her voice saturate my thoughts. I simply cannot forget her. Thoughts of her have infiltrated me like a virus, and they are just multiplying. As each second pass, I am missing her more.

It really hurt bad. I hope this will not affect my performance for the A'lvls. When Mr Yeo talked about the impact that relationships can have on our exam capabilities, I just brushed it off as crap. Now I realise it is real. It can affect exam capabilities and I cannot allow it to happen.

Its as though she's missing. Its as though she has disappeared into thin air. She's no longer there anymore. She's just not herself. I don't know whats going on. How is she feeling? Is she badly affected as well? I do not know. All these missing links. All these missing pieces. The puzzle cannot be completed.

And I learnt to depend upon God to give me strength. Personally, I am totally broken. The human me is done for. All I have is to depend upon God. What else can I lean on? People disappoint. People can betray you. People can backstab on you. People might not understand. People might misunderstand. Only God is on your side, always. And I recall the 4 F'dmonitions Of Christian Living:

• Fret Not
• Fear Not
• Faint Not
• Forget Not