Untitled, still

My miracle did not arrive. She said. No. Actually she did not really say it. She just stopped smiling. Stopped smiling. I got the idea. She did not say no simply because I did not ask. And this saved me from the pits of rejection. I did not know what to do. I simply stood there. Stood there like how I had been all along. Like what I had been doing all along. I quietly took my heart back, turned and walk away. I simply fade into the crowd around me.

I knew this would happen anyway. I was no cassanova. I was not romantic. I wasn't your tall, dark, handsome group of men. I wasn't rich. I wasn't superbly intelligent. I wasn't anything. I was just me. Me, average me. As I blend into the crowd, I looked back at her. She was outstanding. She simply catches the eye of those who pass. How would I have fit anyway.

I walked on. Holding my dear heart. People are not noticing yet. But soon they will. They will probably say, "you shouldn't even have tried anyway." "you should have expected this." I know what they all will say. But still, I hold no regrets. That, simply because I tried. I tried and I did not regret. I didn't believe in not trying. I believed in trying. In fact, I am already glad that my heart was once held by her. That I had the opportunity to stand in front of her. Though brief it may be, such moments are precious and dear.

I tried to fit my heart back into the void where it used to be. It did not fit. It could not fit. It didn't want to fit. Perhaps it would take just a little more time before my heart could get used to being with me again. To being alone again. It would just have to take a little more time. For now, I just have to hold it. Hold it, untill it recovers.

And I just walk on. Like how I used to walk all my life. The path is familiar. The routines are not strange to me. The people who had been on the road are still here. Not much have changed. Except me. But I suppose it won't be long before I get to become who I was again. Get to place my heart in where it is supposed to be. Get to be whole, again.

And who knows. Maybe along this journey of mine, I might be able to find someone whom I could exchange hearts with. Or maybe, even, I might come one round to this spot again. To find her standing there again. To stand in front of her again. To give her my heart again. And maybe, just maybe, when that time comes, I would receive her heart, and she would keep mine.

And perhaps this story would come to a close for now. Even though the ending is not one I would wish for, it is still an ending I would have to accept. That, simply because I am not the author. I am simply the character. But perhaps this is not the end yet. Perhaps a new chapter would open. And perhaps in this new chapter, the ending could be one that I would wish for.