And, yo. I am back. Yes, from Sibu Island. I can still feel the bobbing up and down of the boat while I am here sitting in my room typing into this little space.

Overall, I loved this trip. Well, considering the fact that its my first overseas trip since I was enlisted, and that its a break I could really use from all the work back in camp. And the best part is, people can still call me while I am on the island taking a break, to ask me about work. Marvelous, simply marvelous.

Anyway, I will post some pictures. Pictures can say a thousand words, but a thousand words is not alot. There are some things that just simply cannot be put in words. The experience, having sea spray in your face, looking at the sun rising from the horizon, and setting into it, looking at the underwater life of the coral reefs and diving in to touch some corals and getting your hand scratched by one, getting your dad and mum to do things that they haven't done in their entire lifetime. These are expriences that can't be put into words.

And well, my camera is not some SLR or a super high tech piece of equipment, so there are some limitations: The sunrise won't be as glorious as it really is, there won't be pictures of the coral reefs cos my camera isn't waterproof, the beaches and skies won't be as splendid as it really is, and of course, the camera couldn't capture the sky that was full and full of stars.

Anyway, here we go. Oh, these are only some of the pictures I took. Its a total of 443 pictures. Haha, I think I'll find somewhere else to upload the rest.

In another 6 more hours, *poof* I'll be gone! Well, to Malaysia that is.

Its the 1st time I'm going overseas in 2 years. No wait, 2 and half years. Can you believe it?!?! I've never gone overseas since I was enlisted in the army. What a sad life. Well, unless you consider Sentosa as overseas.

Sibu Island! Beach paradise! I love beaches. Sun, wind, sea. Clear water. I think I will enjoy. And having an entire hotel room to myself, muahaha, the perks of paying for your family trip. Wait, I hope its not a creepy hotel. :S

"Sibu Island is one of Malaysia's unspoilt islands off the Peninsula's East Coast, facing the South China Sea. Approximately 6 km long and 1 km wide, the island abounds with lush tropical vegetation, and is noted for its beaches, hills, cliffs and exotic bird population."

On a side note, something left me stupified for a minute today. I called 1633 (Starhub do-it-all number) to activate my international roaming. As expected, everything was automated, key in this, key in that, which is good. And when I'm done with all the keying, they asked me to wait for the customer service officer. Which I did. For 5 minutes. And they kept telling me that "your call is important to us", "but not so important because its a Sunday night, but if you are earning S$1m a month, please press 1 and we'll attend to you immediately." (I made up the 2nd line).

And then, I got the biggest shock when the CSO picked up.

CSO: Hello good evening how may I help you?

Me: Er, I want to activate my international roaming.

CSO: Ok, let me check. Oh, you already activated it.

Me: Is it? Yeah, I activated it just now.

CSO: Yes, you activated it at 10.23pm (I can't remember the time, but its around there)

Me: Oh, ok, then why did they direct me to a CSO? To tell me that my international roam is activated?

CSO: Yes, I believe so.

Me: Oh ok, thanks.

CSO: Anything else I can help you with?

Me: No, thanks. Have a good night.

CSO: Thank you for calling... ( I hanged up)

I can't believe they directed me to a CSO just to tell me my international roaming has been activated. Couldn't they just automate it as well?? Argh, telecom providers...

Anyway, see you all in 3 days time. I hope I will have pictures to show.

Death.

I never liked to talk about death. In fact, I never like to talk about death. Its not a taboo for me, its just something very unpleasant to talk about.

Death. Its so very unpleasant to talk about that people come up with all sort of terms and phrases to avoid saying the word death. Went six feet under, kicked the bucket, met his creator, passed on, passed away, whatever. We say almost everything else but, die.

Death is something very common. People die everyday, thousands and thousands die in natural disasters, theres a funeral once every few weeks at the pavilion near my house. But to see someone or something die, thats not very common. And to have been able to do something to prevent it from dying, thats very rare.

Yet, it happened to me. And now, I don't know how to describe my emotions. Sad? Guilty? Maybe a mix of both? I don't know. All I know is, every time I close my eyes, that very scene just keeps on replaying itself like a spoilt disc in a DVD player. Its haunting me.

The cat was peering down from the ledge of the staircase railing, looking for its mother. And there I was trying to coax it down with some ikan bilis. If I had known, IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN, I would have went over and pulled it off the ledge. But I did not know, and I was too much of a coward, afraid that it might just jump off when I get too close. The kitten did not jump off. It just dropped off.

I can still hear its claws, frantically trying to grab at anything to hang on to, but it was too late. I could only pray, that an angel, maybe a cat angel would just fly over and pick it up in mid air. But that didn't happen. "Thud." I can still hear it in my head.

IF ONLY I HAD WENT OVER AND GRAB IT. If only if only. If only time could go in the reverse direction. If only so many so many different things.

Dropping from 8 storeys high. I cannot imagine. I quickly took the lift down. The kitten did not die. It just sat there, with its mother by its side. I knew its mother. I had only fed the mother a few hours back.

As I approached, the kitten limped away with its mother. I can still remember its face. The cute face, even after falling from 8 storeys high. "God, please keep this little fella alive."

That was the last time I saw the kitten alive. The next morning as I went to work, I spotted the corpse in the distance. Lying motionless on the floor. My heart broke to a million, billion pieces. I could not even bring myself to see it. And as I walked on, its mother approached me. "Meow." I patted its head. "I'm so so very very sorry."

I do not like to post sad posts. But I can't post happy posts considering how sad I am now. Telling myself not to think about it did not help. You can don't think about something, but that something can still stay in you. And when you stop thinking about anything else, you will find it right where you left it.

And thats how it is with me now. Scenes just keep on replaying itself. The face, the mewing, scurrying of claws on ledge, the thud, the fact that I could have done something other than trying to offer ikan bilis.

If only I had known. If only I had done something. If only it didn't come up to the 8th storey. If only I wasn't there. If only a hundred million things. If only I wasn't such a coward.

When I came back from work in the afternoon, the body was gone, probably swept away by the indian uncle who keeps my estate clean. However, everything else still remains in my mind. Haunting me. Accusing me. Murderer. A cowardly murderer.

Its another 10 more working days, 22 more actual days. ORD here I come.

I can feel it. Operationally-Ready-Date. Thats what ORD means. Its funny how the SAF come up with such a term. Well, thats because most people become less operationally ready when they ORD... but well, it doesn't matter.

Then I will get back my pink IC, and someone will ask me "Whats that shiny card in your hot hand?" (I can't remember the exact words, FF7 fans help?) and I will reply in a very cool manner, "Thats my PINK IC.I say again, PINK IC."

Welcome back, me.

Another nice video. Someone remind me to get a window seat when I find a job next time.



"Oh you coward you. You are not going to get anywhere by just sitting there and reasoning with yourself, giving excuses for your own cowardness. Get up and do something about it for goodness sake!" - Me to myself.

Reminds me of The Wizard Of Oz.

"Courage!
What makes a king out of a slave?
Courage!
What makes the flag on the mast to wave?
Courage!
What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk?
What makes the muskrat guard his musk?
Courage!
What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder?
Courage!
What makes the dawn come up like thunder?
Courage!
What makes the Hottentot so hot?
What puts the "ape" in apricot?
What have they got that I ain't got?"
- Cowardly Lion

"I want so much to open your eyes, coz I need you to look into mine."

"Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him."

I had nasi lemak today again. This time, it was breakfast. Somehow, my friends and I felt adventurous (and hungry) during work in the morning and quickly hopped into the car. We ended up at the same Bedok market we were at yesterday.

And yes, I had the "best nasi lemak" in the market (remember I had the second best yesterday?). It's a stall called "HONG NI", which literally means RED MUD in mandarin. I have no idea why its called RED MUD. I think it has something to do with the very potent chilli sauce and the potential shi.. output that the customer will produce after eating. Well, its not so bad. I only had 2 stomach upsets in the afternoon. And I skipped lunch.

Had dinner with my family at Xin Wang @ Yew Tee Point after work. I can now safely say I have been eating the same things for the past 3 days. Xin Wang on Sunday, Nasi Lemak yesterday, Nasi Lemak and Xin Wang today. There was so so so much food. Gosh, I just love eating with my family, I can order anything I want! Muahahaha.

Anyway I was in the bus going home and there was this person humming a little tune behind me. I didn't turn to see who it was.

Person humming: Lalalalalalala.

*Bus mounted the curb and there was a huge jerk*

Person humming: Ah! Jagulismkfsgokadn (Gibberish I can't understand)

Me: *laughed, tried to control laughter, failed, and laughed*

Me: *repeated above actions*

*People in front was turning their heads to see which mad guy was behind them*

Me: *repeated above actions until I alight*

And gosh, I have to sleep in camp tomorrow and Thursday night. How sad. I will miss my computer. And my PS2.

Extending another 6 months in the army is just nice. Another month and I feel that too much energy will be drained out of me, less a month and I feel that I've not earned enough yet. This contract for 6 months is given to me by God anyway, so of course its nice.

Well, thats my own conclusion after discussing the matter with a friend at work today. At least I'll be leaving the army with a positive experience (thats what the Army Recruitment Centre likes to say most) and not feel sour about giving my time to the sacred work of protecting our beloved nation.

A colleague asked me today if I'll look for another job after I ORD in May. He advised me to look for one. Reason: "My brain would rot if I don't use it for 3 months." Not that my brain is not rotten enough after my stint in the army. I would probably consider taking up something light though, like tuitioning or something.

Anyway, theres also the part in me that doesn't feel like leaving the army yet. Leaving the army means leaving my source of income. And leaving my source of income would mean the following:

• Sorry family, can't bring them out and treat them to good meals as often.
• Sorry friends, can't go to nice places with them too much.
• Sorry myself, can't go shopping as much.

Shopping. Oh man. I recently realised how much I love shopping. Ok, lets not use love, LIKE shopping. I recently watched "Confessions of a shopaholic" (I was forced to) and I could almost identify with the protaganist. Gosh, I don't even know if I am supposed to feel ashamed. Masculinists (I don't know if theres such a word, to find out its meaning, think feminist) would probably be making their way to kill me right now. Well, at least I am still serving in the army and I play soccer every week and I don't go for facial and I don't carry pretty bags and I don't wear tight fitting clothes, so please don't shelf me in with the "Sensitive New Age Guy" or "Metrosexual" categories.

ANYWAY. Today is declared as "Nasi Lemak Day" by me. Thats because for both lunch and dinner, I had Nasi Lemak. Yes, I skipped breakfast. So during lunch time, my friends and I drove out to Bedok and had some Nasi Lemak there (we love to be very adventurous during lunch time :D)

This Nasi Lemak, although I ordered alot alot (2 chicken wings, fish fillet, fried egg, luncheon meat, long beans, extra rice), I was left longing for more! Its not "FANTASTIC!", but it was good enough. This despite the fact that my friend says this stall is only second best in the market (and I thought I only saw 2 Nasi Lemak stalls in the market)

So the story goes, as soon as I finished work, I decided that I shall not have the usual dinnerfare from my mum's stall and go buy some Nasi Lemak at Yew Tee instead.

And after having Nasi Lemak from 2 different places today, I have decided. I still like the one at Chong Pang better. :D

Something for Easter :D

"And it doesn't end there. Jesus is alive."

Many a times, its the imperfections that make life beautiful. The imperfections that make it, perfect.

Today is a sad day. Its the day that I mourn the loss of my 1 month old iPod.

Good bye my iPod, I pray that whoever stole you from me will treat you well. Good bye all my songs, I pray that you will bless the one who took you away.

Well, its quite an expensive lesson, but I have learnt not to place my bag unattended in my bunk now. Evil people are everywhere! I am finally convinced that people can get so desperate that they search other people's bags for 'goodies'. Hmph.

And of course, as with all things in life, God always has a lesson in the things that happen to me. This time, its about carelessness. (Is there such a word even?)

I used to be a very careful person, locking up my stuff in my locker, making sure nothing is left lying around. But months and months of 'good times' and I have become complacent. Thats why the bag was not in the locker, and thats why the iPod was not in the bag.

The same thing applies to our walk with God. Sometimes, after being so on fire, so close and so touched by God, we get complacent. We feel that nothing bad is going to happen, that even if we skip praying for a day, or not read the bible for abit, its alright. We won't backslide. We won't lose the fire.

The devil's most common trick is to make us feel that "its alright". That is, in fact, the oldest trick the devil has in his book. And yet, its one of the most effective one. Its the 1st trick he played on humans, when he said the same thing to Eve, tricking her to eat the apple. And we've been tricked again and again and again.

Its not alright. If its alright to sin, Jesus wouldn't have to die on the cross for us. If its alright, Adam and Eve wouldn't be cast out of the Garden of Eden. It is not alright to skip prayer, skip devotion, skip service.

Therefore it is very important for us to be on our toes all the time. To be alert, cautious, and not be easily tricked by the devil. Don't wait till you lose your iPod before you start putting your things in your locker again.

All sort of things happen in life, even the ones that you do not expect. They are called "surprises", some are pleasant, some are unpleasant, and there some you just do not know where to put them.

This morning was like any other morning. Woke up at 4.50am (yes, thats when I wake up every morning), washed up, prepared for work and then head out of my home. Even as I got into the lift, I was still half-asleep; I had the habit of catching large amounts of sleep on my 1 and half hour journey to work.

So, like any other morning, I just hit the button with "1" on it and the lift door closed. I stoned for a second or 2 as the lift started moving downwards.

All of a sudden, there was a jerk and the lift came to a sudden stop. In my mind was a big big "?" and I actually thought the lift stopped for someone at the 7th floor. But no, the lift was somewhere between the 8th and 7th floor.

Really, being half asleep and getting stuck in a lift isn't the best things to mix. There was an announcement over the speaker that went "Please do not force the lift door open. Press the alarm and wait for rescue." I did not even realise my lift broke down, well, you can't blame me, the lights and ventilation were still on. So I just retardedly keep hitting the "1" button, then all the other buttons, and after about a minute of doing that, I realised my lift broke down.

So retardedly again, I pressed the alarm bell. In a variation of patterns and rhythm, and then realising that no one would hear the bell at 5.20am, I gave up. I just called for help myself. I didn't even know why I bothered to press the alarm when the helpline was right in front of me.

I dialed the number, and half-expected no one to pick up the phone. But of course, someone did.

"Hello?"

"Er, hi, I am stuck in the lift"

"Sorry?"

"Er, my lift broke down and I am stuck in the lift."

"Oh ok... which block is that?"

"686B"

"Ok, I'll send a rescue team over."

"May I know how long will it take?"

"25 minutes"

"Wha?"

"Could be earlier. 25 minutes or earlier."

"Oh ok, thanks"

15 minutes later, I heard sounds around the lift. Then someone knocked on the lift door outside and went "Hello?" I was feeling super sleepy and didn't react. So the fella went "Hello?" again. Then I realised that it was rescue and I responded "Ya?" And then the reply came "Wait wait."

10 minutes later, the lift door opens up and this indian guy popped his head in. I looked at him and said "Yo." Then he helped me to climb out of the lift and I said thanks and its off to work for me. I reached camp 30 minutes later than I usually did, but well, thank God I always reach camp 1 hour earlier than expected. :D

I received one of the weirdest SMS today. So weird that I have to blog it. Well, to protect the identity of those involved, names shall be replaced with fruits. (Note: this SMS came out of nowhere. There was no previous conversation with Kiwi at all.)

Kiwi: Maybe I got an idea

Me: What idea?

Kiwi: I have not think yet , if think already message you or even Tangerine .

Me: Ok... Good night!

Kiwi: Bye and good night rest .

I was dumbfounded for a minute.

Another new look to my blog.

However, it seems like I can't escape from the colour green. Oh well, I just like my blog to be in green. Kinda relaxing to read. I think.

Its another 44 more days to ORD. Time flies isn't it. I still remember it was during November that I decided to put down another 6 more months for the country (so patriotic, ain't I?) and its coming to the end of March now. Slighty more than a month and... my life will turn 180° back to... what it used to be.

University is next. The more I think about it, the more apprehensive I get. I am NOT prepared to study right now. Not at all. I have lost all my smart cells and replaced them with military ones. I wonder how do the rest of the guys in my country do it.

Theres only 1 person I know who is studying E.Lit right now, and that is Her Highness Shu Ting (mind you, she's the princess of a country that I can't tell you or I'll have to kill you). Looking at the way she writes and the amount of literature that is in her mind, and that she is still saying its not easy, I have decided on the following:

• I must watch more plays other than the ones Bright invites me to.
• I must read more books other than the ones which titles interest me.
• I must read more poems other than the ones that I randomly see online.
• I must go revise all my literary devices.
• I must know more literary devices other than hyperbole, alliteration, simile, personification, irony, sarcasm, oxymoron, parody etc.
• I must put more literature into my brain.

I wonder when will I ever get on to doing these things.

I have built a city here

Half with pride and half with fear

I just wanted a safer place to hide

I don’t want to be safe tonight

I need You like a hurricane

Thunder crashing wind and rain

To tear my walls down

I’m only Yours now

I need You like a burning flame

A wild fire untamed

To burn these walls down

I’m only Yours now

I’m only Yours now

I am Yours and You are mine

You know far better than I

And if destruction's what I need

Then I’ll receive it LORD from Thee

Yes I’ll receive it LORD from Thee

And its Your eye in the storm

Watching over me

And its Your eye in the storm

Wanting only good for me

And if You are the war

Let me be the casualty

Till I’m Yours alone

I am only Yours

I am Yours alone LORD

再给我两分钟

让我把记忆结成冰

别融化了眼泪

你妆都花了要我怎么记得

记得你叫我忘了吧

记得你叫我忘了吧

你说你会哭

不是因为在乎

I loved this video. Enjoy. :D

Just in case anyone wants to know more about me... I don't know, I feel that its kinda creepily accurate. Maybe I don't know myself well enough. Anyway if you people want to check out the quiz, just pop over to http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Sometimes I wish life was like a game. You know what you are supposed to do, you know where you are supposed to go, you know who you are supposed to meet.

That the special someone you are supposed to meet is going to meet you in the most interesting of scenarios; like when you fall from the sky landing in a bed of flowers; or when you go on a secret mission in a train with a resistance group; or when you plan to kidnap the princess and then fall in love with her; or when you arrive in a foreign world and you just know the summoner standing on water is the one.

That it doesn't matter what happens between you two. It doesn't matter if she's the last of her kind in the world and you rescue her from an evil electric company despite the odds and then go on an epic adventure; it doesn't matter if everyone believes she's a soceress, you are just going to rescue her; it doesn't matter if she's the queen and you are just a bandit; and it doesn't matter she's getting forced into marriage, you are going to disrupt that marriage.

And it doesn't even matter how it ends. She might die, killed by your arch enemy; you might finally get to hold her in your arms under the moonlight at a party; she might come running to you after you return from saving the world; or the two of you might not even be allowed to be with each other at the end.

Whatever it is, no matter how it ends, it doesn't matter, as long as the two of you have loved each other while you were together. That even if you can't be with each other physically, you have each other in your heart, and the both of you converse in your dreams.

Sometimes I wish life was like a game. A fantasy. Or fantasies. Final fantasies.

Contrary to popular belief, there are actually many things to learn in the army that can be applied practically to our lives. And one of the things that I learnt, is the term: Regroup.

During my training as a section commander, I learnt that when we get into a very nasty situation, we retreat and regroup. That is actually very common knowledge. The reason as to why we do that is simple; because we got compromised and thus have to reorganize, restrategise, and then return again to restart the fight. It is not surrendering. It is simply regrouping.

In a general term, I call this "Restart". Funny as it may seem, restarts actually play a very big role in our lives. Our computers have a function to restart when our system go bonkers, our PSP, Playstations, XBOX, they all have a restart function. Even if a product has no restart button, like our handphones, we always turn them on and off whenever something seemed wrong with the device.

Why do we do that? Because we believe that by restarting the device, it will simply sort itself out. And it does. Restarts seem to work most of the time. When our computer crash, the 1st thing we do is to restart it; then pray that it works, which usually happens.

Though I do restarts often, I never liked it. It actually takes courage and sacrifice to hit that "Reset" or "Restart" button. When I am playing a game and it hangs, I always hesitate a long time before I hit the "Reset" button. Thats because I know if I restart, I will lose all that I have done before the game hanged. However, the thing is that if I don't restart, I simply am unable to move on. A dilemma indeed.

I have been in the down for quite some time now. Been hitting this invisible wall these days, unable to get a move on. Taking a step back and looking at the road behind me, I realised that I have actually struggled quite a bit with myself. Torn bits of clothes were lying at some places where I tore them from myself, there were books at some places where I ran out of ideas.

Looking down this particular road, I realised that at some point, I decided to leave God out of the plan. I decided that I could do this on my own, that I had enough in me to handle whatever that may come my way. I was wrong. I only made a big mess out of myself.

Realising that I was going nowhere, I decided to walk back down the road, pick up all the bits and pieces I dropped; retreat back to the start point again.

Its time to restart and to regroup. And this time, God's going to lead the way.

Just finished watching "The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button". And this is one of my favourite scenes. :D

"But life being what it is, a series of intersected lives and incidents, out of anyone's control..."

Many a times in our walk with Christ, we face a very common and simple dilemma: To please God or to please man. For many of us, it is very straightforward; please God. But wait wait wait, before we say it too quickly, let us take a step back to observe our actions, behaviours and thoughts.

Before I start, let me clarify. I am not here to protest against authorities such as pastors, G12 leaders, our mentors, teachers or what not. No no no, don't get me wrong here please. Pleasing God does not mean we go against our G12 leaders, or our parents, or our pastors. The bible clearly states that we give due respect to people who have authority over us.

1 Peter 2:13 - 14 "Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted amoung men: whether to the king, as supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right."

These are the people, the men, who has been placed into positions of authority by God Himself. They are to be honoured and respected, but in no position higher than that of God in our hearts. Ultimately, we must know that we are serving God, and not man. The authority given is from God, for God. Therefore, we do not please man more than we please God.

Romans 13:1 "Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God."

It is therefore important that we take a step back and observe ourselves. Are we falling into the trap of seeking to please man more than to please God? We may not realise it, especially when they are G12 leaders, our mentors, close friends, elders and so on. We may believe that all they are in fact, God inspired. After all, they are selected by God to have authority over us, ain't it?

Let us be a little careful here. They are all but man. And man fail at times. Therefore it is important that we do a little checks on our attitudes and behaviours. Are we too concerned about what others say about or tell us, more than us listening out to the voice of God? Do we care too much about how they observe the things we do, allowing them to dictate our joys and sadness, instead of feeling the peace of God in the things we enjoy doing? Do we value the approval and favor of man more than that of God's? Do we fear to displease man more than we fear to displease God?

Galatians 1:10 "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

The main purpose of our service is to glorify God, to serve Him wholeheartedly and then enjoy the abundant blessings He places in our lives. It is not to be too concerned about the opinions of others, it is not to let others dictate our way of life. Our primary concern should be God, and to serve Him.

Psalm 118:8 - 9 "It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes."

It is important, therefore, to note that seeking to please man more than to please God is in fact displeasing to God. The moment we start to obey man more than we obey God, we are going against Him. By obeying man more than God, we are putting man on a higher level of priority in our life, serving man instead of God. This is against the commandment in Exodus 34:14 "Do not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God."

Jeremiah 17:5 "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord."

Therefore, let us not fall into the trap of serving man instead of God. The moment we seek to please man, we will lose our focus from serving God, as we make it our business to satisfy man more than we satisfying God. Our main business, is in fact to serve God, not man. Reflect upon your life. Are the opinions of some people placed in too much of importance in your life? Do you let others dictate the way you live your life and serve God? Let us watch ourselves, and not fall into the sin of man-pleasing, or even idolising any other things that will cause us to lose our love and devotion for God. And let us say without a hint of doubt, "We seek to please God."

Ecclesiastes 12:13 "Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man."

Random post no.204

This shall be a special post because I am blogging from a very special place, on a very special laptop.

This particular laptop, according to the owner, can last only 1 hour when left to run on its battery. So I am running on AC power.

Ok, I know this is really random and totally unlike of my writing style, but it doesn't matter, I just feel like blogging from where I am.

Anyway, I am writing with no inspiration at all... so this shall be random post.

I am blogging on a black COMPAQ laptop. On a black sofa.

The person next to me is wearing a white NIKE shirt, hugging a pooh bear, reading some homework.

Theres music playing in the background, the air is cool because the aircon is on.

I am sitting on the floor.

Theres another person to left of me reading a chinese novel. Another one is busy trying to fix a computer killed by a multitude of viruses. Another one is in his room, I have no idea what he is doing.

My handphone being charged in another room.

Ok, I know this is an extremely random post. But really, it does not matter. Its good to insert some randomness here and there.

Oh, I bought myself a new watch yesterday. Ellesse. Black metal. I have been wanting to get myself a black metal watch for so so long. :D So glad for myself. I'll bring my Adidas watch to repair when I really feel like it.

This shall be the end of my random post.

Thank you for reading.

"If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans."

This was the 1st thing I heard when I watched the movie 'Bella' in HOF last friday. Unconciously, I laughed. Its so very true. Many a time, our plans are actually like jokes to God, just as a small kid's plans of doing this and that makes us adults laugh. Thats because God knows whats best for us, and He has already planned it so we can live our best. Telling Him our own plans is like telling Him jokes.

Year 2008 has come to an end. Thats 365 days gone. And thats another 365 days coming again. How was your 2008? Was it superb? Was it tragic? Was it a "to be continued" year? Or did your 2008 end splendidly like curtains falling on a play? Did everything go as per planned? Or did surprises pop out from all over the place? Whatever it is, 2008 is over.

Bringing myself back to the beginning of the year, I really didn't expect much from it. I simply looked forward to going ORD, gain more friendships and to be a better man. But God is really someone that is full of surprises. He knew my 2008 wasn't going to be a simple one, and it certainly wasn't.

For the entire of 2008, I served in one single unit. 36SCE. Gone were the days when I had to run around mindlessly, doing trainings and trainings and trainings. Life as a commander in an operational unit is really different, and I dare say, fulfilling. I have learnt alot about work management, people management and time management. I have also had the opportunities to go to many different places that I probably would not have the privilege of entering had I been a civilian. So all in all, my time as a NSF was definitely exciting, fulfilling and eye opening.

Perhaps one of the biggest surprise to me was the fact that I did not ORD this year. I really didn't expect that. To be offered the contract, and then to accept it, sign the papers and extending my service untill May next year, these things were definitely not in my plan. They were in God's plan. God knew that I enjoyed myself in the unit, God knew that I needed a job for untill I enroll into university, God knew that I was going for church camp next year, God knew that I needed time to prepare myself for university, and God prepared this contract for my sake. Everything was in perfect planning. Under the contract, I will be serving untill May 09, draw a reasonable salary, church camp will be in June, and I have July to prepare for university, enrolment will be in August. God is just so so very wonderful, isn't He?

2008 also saw me knowing many new friends, and they are a great bunch of people. There's Sylvia who joins the "After Service Lunch" group every Sunday with Jeff, Linton and I. And then theres Dixon, Jiayan, Yinglai, Jovin, Aunt Candy, Shawn and Aik Khim who so very graciously included me in their group for dinners and many wonderful times of fellowship. Not forgetting the fact that Dixon and Yinglai always sends me back to where I stay whenever they can. Such wonderful people.

I spent the last day of the 2008 in camp, sitting in the office with 2 of my friends, not realising that the year had ended untill we noticed the massive display of fireworks on our TV screen. One of my friend commented "wah, also don't know count down finish already." Well, I knew, I was watching the 10 seconds going down and then looking at fireworks fly out from the ground and lighting the sky. And I wonder, why do we celebrate? I don't think we celebrate because 2008 was such a bad year that we are so happy to see it over. Well, it certainly wasn't a fantastic year with the economic downturn and natural disasters that happened. But I'm sure we don't celebrate its ending, we celebrate because we believe that 2009 will bring greater things, and we have so much to expect for a new year. Another friend commented "so much fireworks, doesn't even feel like theres an economic downturn loh".

A small sleepyhead brought me all smiles once again by calling me after the countdown and helped me feel the atmosphere of everybody's joy even while I was in camp. That was really really sweet. Thank God for this small sleepyhead. :D

So what will 2009 bring about? 2009 WILL be the year that I ORD, that is in May. It WILL also be the year that I enter into a whole new phase of life - university. I will be enrolling into Nanyang Technological University in August to pursue my Bachelors in English Literature. That will take me a whole 4 years, and I certainly believe that God will bring me through the 4 years with His hand.

And I just know, I just know, that God has so much more installed for the year than I can possibly imagine. Just like what 2008 has been to me, I believe that God will surely come in with surprises that fits into His perfect planning. I shall not have too much plans for 2009, I just pray that wisdom, maturity, sensitivity, friendships, faithfulness and understanding be added onto me, and that at the end of the year, I will be a better man than I am today.

Whatever else, I will leave it to God, because He knows my future better than I do.

Matthew 6:31 - 34

"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek ye first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Matthew 1:18 ~ 25

"This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, and angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel" - which means, "God with us"

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her untill she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus."

Happy birthday to you Jesus!

Christmas is finally here and we celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ. Everyone knows the story, of the baby born in a manger in Bethlehem, and of the shepherds who heard "Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace among those whom he favors!", and also of the wise men who came from the east to bring gifts to honour Jesus Christ.

A friend once asked me, "why is it that we have to give presents to people during Christmas?" My answer was, because it was on this day that God gave us His one and only son, to be destined to die on the cross, to save their entire mankind from the penalty of our sins, eternal death. Because of this, we celebrate, we give gifts because God has given us His son for our salvation.

Christmas is a time when we generously give, and graciously receive.

The most important present, thats given to all of us, is salvation. Salvation through Jesus Christ. And I really thank God for this precious gift that He has given us way way before I was even born.

It is because of God that I am who I am today, that I know the people I know today. I remember the times when He kept me from going wayward during my backslidden secondary school days despite of all the temptations around me, the time when He preserved my life in the car accident which snapped my bike into 2, the time when He made me go into junior college knowing that its the best for me, despite of me wanting to go into polytechnic, and the times when He gave me the wisdom to go through my examinations, helping me to get into university, when He was with me during my days in Army, when it seems like no one else was by my side, when He put me in the unit that I am in, knowing that its the place which I will enjoy working, and indeed I am enjoying myself, and also when He helped me to earn the contract, given to only 2 people in the unit. For all these, I thank God, and all glory be unto Him.

And of course, I also received presents from many of my precious friends! To Jovin, Aunt Candy, Dixon, Trina, Luke, Stephanie, Melvin, Sylvia, Linton and Michelle, Samuel, Yinlai, Wendy, Lilin, Lilian, Shuting, Zhiwei, Singdee, my Sister, Jeff.... not sure if still got more, sorry if I forgot a name, thank you guys so so much for the wonderful gifts!

Had an amazing fellowship at... Cassourina road? Not sure how to spell it, but its at Thomson Road, with an amazing gang made up of *drum rolls* Dixon, Yinlai, Shawn, Aik Khim, Jovin, Aunt Candy, Jiayan, Jiani, Wenyi, Samuel. Yes, I am the only person from Region B who is there. And oh, its also very interesting that there at least 2 other groups from Evangel who were at the same place we ate at!

And, last but not least, Christmas this year is extremely special. Thats because a small sleepyhead came into my life, turned it upside down and brought, oh, so much joy to me.

Keep smiling people, because thats what I've been doing this Christmas :D

"Heroes", the christmas event for HOF this year is coming up and everybody is working non-stop to find their costumes, make their costumes, squeeze out every single ounce of brainjuice they have for the ideas. I am not spared from this crazy wave of non-stop work either. Researching for ideas for the G12 costumes, allocating characters to every single G12 member, plan and organise the evangelistic wednesday for home christmas, making sure everything goes as per planned. This is what happens when your G12 leader got video to concentrate on, and your G12 assistant leader goes on a trip to China, and then to Malaysia.

Anyways, while doing these things, a little idea popped into my mind. "Heroes". What makes someone a hero? Some famous heroes include: Superman, Spiderman, Batman, Captain America, Ironman, just to name a few. We all agree these people are heroes, but what exactly makes them a hero? Lets look at some common qualities they have.

• They all come and save the world from villains.
• They will save the world even if it means putting their life on the line.
• They wear a good looking costume, a few of them are made of spandex.
• They have strong and muscular bodies.
• They fight really well.
• Theres always a damsel in distress for them to save.

Can't think of much. I remember a phrase from the movie "The Dark Knight" that says 'you either die a hero, or you live long enough to become a villain.'

To me, however, to be a hero means alot more than just saving the damsel in distress. Its alot more than just putting on a spandex costume or a cool looking outfit and going around beating bad people up. To me, a hero is more than a muscular body or the ability to fly around the world in 1 second. Thats because I know someone who is really a hero. And let me tell you about him.

"Heroes", if we read it aloud, it can also be read as "He rose". Who rose? You may ask. Jesus Christ. He is the true blue, real and authentic hero of the world. No, he is not muscular. No, he does not wear a spandex costume or a cape. He simply saved the entire world from eternal death. Thats what makes Him a hero.

Not enough? Want something like super powers? Well, He's got it too. Feeding 5000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, thats pretty impressive. Turning plain old water into the finest wine anyone can taste. How about silencing the storm by rebuking the wind? Or walking on water? Or healing the blind and the lepers? Or even reviving those whom others have declared dead? Is that not super enough for you?

Okay, a hero must be noble as well. Sacrificing himself to save the world would be the best right? Well, you got it. Thats exactly what Jesus did. He sacrificed Himself and died on the cross so He could take on the sin of the entire world, past present future, so that He could save everybody from eternal death. He did this despite the fact that the very peope He is trying to save were the ones who ridiculed Him and were the ones who put Him on the cross. What else could be more noble than this?

Maybe you are looking for the "WOW" factor, something that truly distinguishes this hero from any other. Heres one for you. Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He died on the cross, only to be raised from the dead 3 days later, after which He ascended to heaven. Isn't that wow enough? Its definitely wow enough for me.

So let me say this. Personally, Jesus Christ is my hero. He saved me from eternal death. I don't need anybody in a red cape flying over and scoop me out of a bad situation because I know one thing. I know that when I'm in a bad situation, Jesus Christ won't be coming down to scoop me out of it. Instead, He will be there with me, to see me through it. Thats my hero. Is He your hero too?

Just finished watching Bleach episode 197, and I loved the dialogue between Kuchiki Byakuya and the no.7 Espada Zommari Leroux.

Byakuya: You are the arrogant one, Espada. But fear not, you won't lose because of it. You'll lose purely because of the gap between our powers.

Leroux: Arrogant? Me? What makes you say that? You may be my enemy, but you are also of the captain class. I believe we are on the same level, and have been trying to behave as such. There is no arrogance in that.

Byakuya: Arrancar... the fact that you consider yourself to be on the same level as myself is being arrogant in itself.

Leroux: I see.. I can tell it is in your nature to be appallingly arrogant. So be it. Then I am forced to humiliate you untill you relinquish that pride.

Cutting the story short, a fight ensued and Leroux was subsequently trashed by Byakuya. I am not exaggerating by saying trashed. So much for being on the same level.

Its World Aids Day today. So in view of that, I shall post some Aids awareness for everyone. Aids, acronym for Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome is a set of symptoms and infections caused by damage to the human immune system. This damage is due to a virus known as HIV, Human Immunodeficiency Virus. When someone is said to have HIV, he just has the virus, not the symptoms. When the person has Aids, he is in the condition when his immunity system is so weak that he can't fight off normal illnesses anymore. They are 2 DIFFERENT THINGS.

HIV is transmitted through bodily fluids such as blood, semen, vaginal fluid or breastmilk. Well, HIV can therefore be transmitted through sex, breastfeeding, through blood transfusion, or sharing of needles infected with HIV. It is therefore very important to note that HIV cannot be transmitted through air or by body contact.

In view of this, precautions must be made so as to prevent the further spread of HIV. This include, practicing safe sex. Meaning, insist on wearing a condom if you are going to have sex with a random person (not your spouse). Thats because condom is 99% capable of preventing the bodily fluids from getting to you. However, I say its better NOT TO HAVE SEX WITH A RANDOM PERSON. Stay faithful to your spouse, and have sex only after you get married. I think thats the safest.

Also, do not share needles, or blades, or anything that has come into contact with another person's blood as these might be contaminated with HIV. You don't want to be a victim for no apparent reason.

People with HIV can still be healthy if they respond early to treatment. However, many people can't come to terms with having HIV and would thus need the support of his family, friends and the people around him.

Many people discriminate people with HIV, but they are humans too. They have a soul too. And HIV won't even spread like SARS. Let us be more understanding towards them, giving them support, because thats what they need the most.

I found some videos about Aids, just to get the message across.

Lead me to the Cross

SINGAPORE: 2 girls and 1 man were nearly murdered by a man wearing tight shorts at Yishun MRT station at around 10.30pm last night.

It is believed that the group of 2 girls and 1 man was alighting from a train at Yishun MRT station when they noticed a man wearing a pair of extremely tight shorts that was showing off the shape of his bottom. It is also reported that the man was wearing a very tight singlet as well.

According to sources, it is believed that the man in the group, Mr Nod Gna, started speaking gibberish as he couldn't control his laughter.

The trio then started laughing among themselves and couldn't stop laughing even after they exited through the gantry of the MRT station. It is then around this time that they nearly lost their breath due to excessive laughing.

One of the victims, Miss Aerdna Gnohk reportedly experienced abdominal pains and had to sit down to ease off the pain for nearly a minute. It was also noted by eye witnesses that the other girl in the group, Miss Nilil Gnohk was speaking in a very heavy chinese accent with Mr Nod Gna.

The man wearing tight shorts left the scene and could be not be found. The group then left the station shortly after.

No injuries were reported in this incident. Authorities have issued an advice to all readers to try their best to control their laughter when they see anything funny so as to prevent themselves from losing their breath.

— JNA (Jelly News Agency)

After much persuasion, my dad has finally given in to my request. He decided to give me the Sony portable DVD player, so I can watch my favourite shows while I am on duty! Well, I am definitely pleased. And to my surprise, I found out that this portable DVD player could also hook up to the TV so you don't have squint your eyes to watch on that little screen. So now, the portable DVD player has doubled up to become my room's DVD player! No longer the need to watch DVD on my computer when I migrated the DVD player to the living room. I am very pleased indeed.

说好的幸福呢 - Jay Chou

My heartiest congratulations to...

Zihao! For his posting to BMTC as a recruit instructor! Nature, green trees, green leaves, green men, green vehicles. Being back onto the Pulau Tekong. Recruits, jungles, route march, training, camo cream, field pack.... ah, don't you just miss that island... Enjoy your posting there Zihao! Coz you are gonna be there till you ORD!

And, Melvin! For his posting to... *drum rolls* Guards Recce! Everybody repeat with me... "Guards Recce". I shall not go into his job details, but well, it is definitely challenging :D "Ready To Strike" is the Guardsmen motto, and I am sure glad you are ready to strike, Melvin. Haha, and even if you are not, you had better be!

Oh oh, those 2 postings are really good ones for those who don't know. Helps you to realise your potential, trains you up physically, helps you to be a model soldier ya! Haha, so don't look at me as an example of a model soldier, I don't even know if I am even close to being a soldier now :P

Delirious? - History Maker

And yes, today is the cat's birthday.

Happy birthday to Peiyi! My sister of 19 years. And of 19 years old.

One day, a boy who has a bag of marbles proposes a trade with a little girl who has a bag of candies. The girl gladly agrees. But as the boy gets out his marbles, he realizes that he can't bear to part with some of them. Rather dishonestly, he takes three of his best marbles and hides them under his pillow. The boy and girl made the trade, and the girl never knew he has cheated her. But that night while the girl lies fast asleep, the boy has no peace. He's wide awake, pondering a question that nags at him: "I wonder if she kept her best candy too?"

Do you want the best from God?

Have you given your best to God?

Superb story. I remember I posted a similar story on the blog in the past. But I want to post it again. This is a story about a father and son, Dick and Rick Hoyt. Although being born different due to cerebral palsy (lack of oxygen to the brain), Rick didn't give up in life, and his father Dick is doing all he can to help him. Rick was put through college, and many other things a normal person would do, and he completed them. Even things normal people don't do, he completed them as well, such as triathlons. Lets not give up on the small things in our life alright. Let me quote Winston Churchill during a seemingly hopeless war in the WWII, "Never, never give up."
God is always there to rescue us, have faith! A picture speaks a thousand words, a video millions.

"Leadership is solving problems. The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help or concluded you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership. " - Colin Powell

Superbly said.

Woke up in camp on Wednesday morning, looked out the window towards the camp compound and asked myself "What in the world am I still doing here?"

Looking at my pals ORD, and having to report for duty the day after my expected ORD, its not helping to boost my morale by any bit. Its a decision that I made though, so I better make this 6 months more worthwhile.

I looked further and the sunrise shone into my eyes. Well, at least God is still faithful. Thats good enough for me.

And oh yes, happy birthday to you Christine. 19 years old.

Praise and thank God!

After 2 days of struggling, scanning, deleting, uninstalling, installing, my computer has finally recovered. Put up alot more security for the system now. Pray that such things never happen again. :D

Really really thank God!

Well, went to watch "Quantum Of Solace" just now. Just to let everybody know, I am not exactly a Bond fan, so I haven't watched "Casino Royale". Basically, what happens is this: The movie started and I have no idea whats going on, there were alot of fighting, guns, explosions (BOOM), women, party, flying an aeroplane, jumping off aeroplane, more fighting, more guns, more explosions. And at the end, I still have no idea whats going on.

Came back this evening after a very satisfying dinner at Kovan. Went into the lift with a young malay family (parents and a small boy). The small boy hit "6" on the number pad and I proceeded to hit "8". Then the mum, I suppose is mum, said "How come you never ask uncle which number he want?" The small kid looked at me and I looked back. Which part of me looks like an uncle? I am only 20!! 20, mind you. Do I really look so old.... Geez.

Anyway my pc is hit by an array of viruses and trojan horses. I am in hot combat with them right now. Dear friend Ying Lai has identified one of the viruses as the "Sauccer" virus. No idea if I spelt it right here. Basically it causes my PC to shut down every time I connect my system to the Internet. Cool eh, somehow I managed to contain that one, and Norton Antivirus is helping me to fight off many others as well. Soldier, this is war!

Was having dinner with my mum at the coffeeshop when my mum's friends, an auntie and an old uncle, came over and started a conversation with me. *entire conversation is in cantonese and kindly translated by me.*

Auntie (A) : "Going back to camp ah?"

Me: "Yup"

A: "NS pay not very high right? My son gets only like $500++.."

Me: "Quite ok la. Depends on what you do lo. And your rank."

Uncle (U): "He's a 3 stripes leh (3rd Sergeant)"

A: "Oh? My son is 2 stripes in police (I think is corporal). So how much 3 stripes get?"

Me: "Abit more la. Less than $1000 still."

A: "Got at least $900?"

Me: "Ya... around there."

A: "Oh...."

U: "3 stripes not bad leh. Not very easy to become. Pay also better lo."

Me: "Ok lah..."

*Auntie walks off*

U: "So what you do in the army?"

Me: "I'm an engineer."

U: "Combat engineer?"

Me: "Yep, combat engineer."

U: "Wah, very xiong one leh. Need to build bridges one."

Me: "Heh, not quite lah, now quite high-tech already. Besides, I am not the type that build bridges."

U: "Oh, then what type of combat engineers you do?"

Me: "Other things lo. Not building bridges."

U: "Combat engineers got alot of types one ma, what type are you?"

Me: "Just other things lo. Heh."

*At this point, uncle becomes very emo and his face became sad*

U: "Oh... now got alot of things cannot tell other people already..."

Me: "eh... ?"

U: "Now is like that already la.... become secretive..."

*Uncle walks off* *I went ?!*

What a very emo uncle. Dunno is spy or what...

Saw this picture on Yahoo! News. And this is the caption:

"A sign at the Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch railway station in Anglesey, Wales. Translated from Welsh: St Mary's church in the hollow of the white hazel near to the rapid whirlpool and the church of St Tysilio of the red cave. Welsh officials mistakenly erected a road sign that read "I am not in the office at the moment" after a translation mix-up."

Thats a really LOOOOOOOOONG name for a railway station! You can try to pronounce the name.

Its pronounced as

Llan-vire-pooll-guin-gill-go-ger-u-queern-drob-ooll-llandus-ilio-gogo-goch.

"Hi mum, I am at the Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch railway station, come and pick me up!"

Today, something interesting happened at Heart.Sports. And it caught my eye.

Basically, brief of situation. Some guys were playing basketball and this guy had a little tumble and fell over in pain. Ok, not so very interesting, it always happens. But what caught my eye was that his girlfriend (I am not sure if she is or not, but she looks like she is his girlfriend) ran over and held his hand while other people were treating his sprained ankle. And she held his hand all the way when he was screaming in pain. This caught my eye.

Its been awhile since I saw this. This innocent act of love. And this basic foundation of a relationship - to be there for your loved one when he/she needs you. To be honest, it touched my heart. Even though she knew nothing about how to treat a sprain, or how relief her boyfriend of the pain, she held his hands and ensured him that everything is ok. And even if its not ok, she'll be there for him.

And as the rest carried him to the side and went on with their game, she was still with him at the side. Ensuring him that everything will be fine.

I stood at one side and pondered about it. How sweet. Don't you wish there will be someone who will be there for you when you are in need? Who will hold your hands and tell you everything is going to be alright? Sweet.

We'll do it all

Everything

On our own

We don't need

Anything

Or anyone

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know

How to say

How I feel

Those three words,

Are said too much

They're not enough

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time

Chasing cars

Around our heads

I need your grace

To remind me

To find my own

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am

All that I ever was

Is here in your perfect eyes

They're all I can see

I don't know where

Confused about how as well

Just know that these things

Will never change for us at all

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

"Now who said in a relationship, you need cars, money, flowers, chocolates, gifts. All you need is just each other, and you can just forget the world."

Did a few interesting things over the past few days as a result of me having too much free time from the clearing of leaves. And no, leaves do not equate to the plural of leaf. It means days that I do not need to go to work.

One of the things I did was to clear up the mess I made in my room. Stuff thats lying around on the floor, in the shelves, in the drawers. Sieving through some of the old stuff, I found some pretty interesting things that brought back many memories. My enlistment letter, letters that remind me to go do my medical check up for enlistment (3 of these as I kept delaying the check up), love letters from secondary school (fun reading them), old photos (thats how all those pics ended up on Facebook), study notes, notebooks from sec sch/JC etc etc. I ended up with 6 bags of trash. If I put all the junk together, I can make a small house for a small cat to live in. And of course, I love my room better now.

I tried my hand on touch rugby (literally) on Saturday Heart.Sports. It was fun. Totally enjoyed myself committing all the bloopers. I remember there was a time the ball came to me and I just stood there processing what to do in my mind. There are so many rules and you have to pay more concern to the rules than to the gameplay itself! But when almost everyone on the field is a newbie, the whole playing field becomes a great breeding ground for clowns and comedians.

I found out the reason for my exponential growth in body mass. Overeating. Last Saturday, I had a massive amount of chicken rice (I must admit it was really good). And this saturday, muslim food. Although I must explain, I never knew the portion was so big (I strongly suspect that the Chicken Nasi Briyani was for 2). One bowl of briyani, 2 pieces of prata topped off with milo dinosaur. Totally sent all the running at touch rugby down the drain. But then again, I can never say no to good food.

Of course, I keep getting reminded that I should be ORDing in 2 weeks time, and the sad thing is, I won't be doing that.

You wake up finding the sun has risen, and that'll be when you realise its not that bad a day afterall.

Exodus 6:4 "I also established my covenant with them to give them the land of Canaan, where they lived as aliens."

Exodus 14:21-23 "Nevertheless, as surely as I live and as surely as the glory of the Lord fills the whole earth, not one of the men who saw my glory and mircaculous signs I performed in Egypt and in the desert but who disobeyed me and tested me ten times - not one of them will ever see the land I promised on oath to their forefathers."

Numbers 20:12 "But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, 'Because you did not trust me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them."

Deuteronomy 34:4 "Then the Lord said to him, 'This is the land I promised on oath to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob when i said, 'I will give it to your descendants.' I have let you see it with your eyes, but you will not cross over into it.'"

Joshua 1:2-3 "Moses my servant is dead. Now then, you and all these people, get ready to cross the Jordan River into the land I am about to give them - to the Israelites. I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses."

Joshua 1:6 "Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them."

Are you like the Israelites? Letting God's promised gift for you slip out of your hands because of some mistake? And now, after going one big round, after spending all the time going in circles, you are right back at the gates to God's promise again. This time, having been changed by your travels, like a new generation of the Israelites, will you take courage, overcome the obstacles that you are facing, enter the land and fight for it, knowing that your God is faithful.

"Why do you go back to doing something you once failed? Because you believe it can be done, because you believe its worth doing, and because all along, you have never really given up."

Life has come to a stand still for me. I can't find the reason why, but everything around me just doesn't seem to matter anymore. "I just do what I have to do, and then I'll just see what happens" has been the kind of attitude that somehow got into me for the past few days. No, its not that I am unhappy about whats going on, I am actually happy, cheerful. I still carry a smile. Its just that things around me, they don't excite me anymore. I don't feel any urgency to do something. And it is actually quite a good thing, my worries are lesser, I don't feel stressed or pressured anymore. It is a good thing.

Somehow, its like I took a step back, or rather, took a step out of my life. Looked at it from a third person view, and not allowing myself to be swallowed by all the worries in my life. As I carried on doing this, I realised that, "hey, life isn't so bad, you just have to not be so concerned about so many things." For example, I don't have to be so concerned about finding a girlfriend. Theres plenty of time, plenty of opportunity for me. Whats the rush? Why am I being pressured by other people? Whats the point of having a girlfriend now anyway?

So now, when something good happens to me, I'll say "hey, thats really good." And if something bad happens to me, I'll say "ah, thats not so good, but its ok, it won't be forever." Or if I have to do something that I don't feel like doing, I'll say "well, lets just get this over and done with." Theres no longer the complication of "oh, what am I gonna do?!". If I get to take a break from work, good. If not, I'll just work, its my job anyway.

Casting unnecessary stress away is definitely a good thing, but it cannot turn me into a passive person. Neither should it turn me into a short sighted person. There must always be an active spirit, having the passion to excel in what we do, and yet at the same time, not creating extra pressure or stress on ourself. And neither can I allow this relax mode to make me lose my foresight, my vision. There must always be plans for the future, but theres no need to be too stressed over something that we do not know about anyway.

For now, all that concerns me are God, family, friends, work. :D

"Only 2 contracts are offered. Only Kelvin and you will be getting it. The rest might be offered the contract only if one of you reject the offer."

When these words hit me, I was lost for words. There had been speculations about there being only 2 positions to fill in the unit but none of us wanted to be too sure about it, we were all hoping that there will be 6. That way all of us would be able to stay together, working together like how we had been for the past 1 year.

However, it was not to be. Turns out the speculations evolved itself to become truth, and the truth is right here in our face. In a way, this is good news for me. It means I secured a contract, a job for the next 6 months. But somehow, the news also stung my heart. Amidst all the flavours of emotions, there was this tinge of sadness, this taste of forlorn.

Lets not say all 6, but the 3 of us in the platoon, we have always been working so closely together. We have been fighting, hoping, trying for this contract. We decided together that we will take on the 6 months as regulars together. We discussed about it at night, over lunch, when we were working. We were ready for it, another 6 months, no problem! And when the decision is finally made that we will go for it, only 1 of us got it?

Besides, I am not even the best in the platoon. My fitness is so off-standard, I am always so lack lustre about my work, always making mistakes. The rest are so much better than I am, reminding me about things, helping to cover for me. The only reason I could think of that put me on the list is the video project.

"So if I don't take up the contract, could I give it to another person?" "No, we have chosen the specific person to take up the particular the project that we will be assigning. Another person might not get the contract even if you don't take it up."

Thats how it is I guess. Even in the working world. Things just won't always go the way we want it. We just have to pick up whatever we got and move on. I applied for the contract today.

In another 39 days, I will be bidding my dear friends goodbye from the army. I will be looking at them holding their pink ICs, waving at me. I will hear news of what jobs they got in the civilian world, and how relax their lives are. And I will be reminded of the fact that I could join them in the rite of ORD, if I had not taken up the offer. I could only do the same in another 6 months. Well, thats the price to pay, I guess.

My 3 Superb Days At F1

Been gone really long, or was I? Haha, doesn't matter, I had a fantastic 3 days at F1 and I just can't help but blog about it, put the memory in words, letting it stay on even as it fades in my brain. F1 Singtel Singapore Grand Prix 2008, thats where I was from 26 till 28th September. And well, I have to say, I had a great time.

Basically, I was at the Marina Bay Circuit from morning till evening, so I was given lots and lots of time to look through everything, soak in as much of the atmosphere as I wanted to. Took lots of pictures. Shopped. Spent lots of money. And of course, watch and listen to roaring engines as the race starts.

Its a really different experience, to be at the race site and to watch the race from a television screen. Theres the atmosphere of the entire area, theres the sound of the engines, the vibrations as the cars roars pass, and theres even the smell of burning rubber when cars brake at where you are. Also, lots of people, from all over the world.

All of the 3 nights, I would just find a nice spot, sit down or stand with my friends, put on my ear plugs, and watch the race. Can you imagine I did it for 3 nights? Haha, I did. And I didn't get bored of it. There were races in the afternoon as well, Aston Martins, Porches, BMW something something, but they can't compare to the F1 night races, haha.

I guess the best day was the last race day. Went shopping in the afternoon, and had to decide what merchandises I would want to buy. After alot of thinking, pondering, considering, I decided to buy this T-shirt from Ferrari with "Massa" on it. I had a hunch that Massa would win the race. I also bought some keychains for my family members, sweet huh? And I have to mention, the attendant who was helping us to get the shirts is so so so so pretty! Haha, but I didn't talk much with her, so wasted. Race started at night after all the track parade and stuff like that. I was so sad, Massa actually lost! Geez, so I went to buy a general F1 shirt after the race. :D

And the best part, I didn't spend a single cent to get to F1. Went there for work, and all I spent was for the merchandise, which really burnt a pretty big hole in my pocket. Work details not included. Hoho.

Jason Mraz - I'm Yours

I really love this song. And the music video. Gives you the feeling that we shouldn't make the simple things in life so complicated and that we can just sit back and enjoy life as it is :D

"If a certain memory brings a smile on your face with you just thinking about it, or it warms your heart and brings a certain feeling of nostalgia, perhaps there is something in you that you simply didn't want to let go of. If so, why not give the reason that you remember them a second chance?"

What are your sweetest memories?

-Adapted from a friend of mine