Curtains drawn. Lights fade. A round of applause. Cameras flash. The final act of my pre-university life has finally come to a close. A grand finale, at least that's how I feel.

ZHONG HUA YING XIONG. No, its not that chinese movie featuring a chinese hero in the 1990s. Its an event organised by my church and one which I found myself being very heavily involved in. 2 weeks of props preparation, booth building, costume hunting and drama rehearsing all came down to one single night - and a wonderful night it was.

It was the first time I tried putting on contact lenses. What a crazy ordeal I had to go through. Spending half hour in front of that mirror in the church toilet trying to poke my eye with a small plastic film on my finger.

"HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO DO THIS?!?!"

"JUST DON'T BLINK!"

"HOW CAN I NOT BLINK?!?! ITS NATURAL FOR THE EYES TO BLINK WHEN SOMETHING WANTS TO POKE IT!"

I did it eventually, I do not know how, but I did it. The contact lenses somehow made contact with my eyes without me finding out how I could stop my own eyes from wanting to protect themselves. As a way to show their anger for having their privacy intruded, my eyes were extremely red when I was worshipping.

Taking them out out was a worse experience than putting them on. It was midnight and I had to poke my eyes with TWO fingers. Again I could not stop them from blinking (contact lens users, please tell me the secret). I just put my fingers into my eyes at the fastest possible speed, hoping to take out the contact lens before the eye shut itself. I think I spent an hour doing that.

Imagine the horror when half a contact lens came out. I was like "OH CRAP. CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP." What happened then involved touching raw eye and hoping I manage to find the other half. Thank God I actually managed to find it. My right eye wasn't too pleased after all that.

Left eye was worse. I was just poking it when suddenly my vision blurred, meaning the contact lens was not on my eye anymore. I went "THANK GOD" but then I realised its not on my fingers! I searched the basin and floor for it but its not there either. So well, I don't know where it went to. It could still be at some hidden corner of my eye right now as I am typing this.

And why all that contact lenses trouble? You may ask. For the event of course. I was dressed as a general from ancient china, and had to play this hero called Yue Fei, and I believe neither Yue Fei nor any other chinese general had glasses on. So, the contacts.

The mini-dramas were all very fun to watch. I had a really good laugh watching everyone of them. And surprisingly, even when I was lead this time round, I did not feel as stressed as the previous drama. I think I, if not the whole cast, actually took on the "lets not do this to win, lets do it in the name of fun" mentality.

I think camwhoring (I don't like using this word, but I used it) time was pretty wonderful. Everyone in their different colours. Blue like the sea, orange like the blazing sun, green like lush forest, red like a burning flame, all melt together on the floor into a crazy mixture of colours and culture.

There were generals, princesses, maids, emperors, soldiers, nobles, rich men and women, convicts and even a beggar. But of course, that beggar was the sect leader of the beggars sect so he didn't get much sympathy from the rest. Besides, he had a PAU in his begging bowl!

There was live guzhen performance as well but one had to strain his ears to listen to the music because the multitudes of sound and laughter and chatter all around were very close to completely drowning out the music from the two very soft and gentle instruments. Still, kudos to Shu Ting and I don't his name boy for the fantastic performance.

Achieving the best dressed gentleman came as a pleasant surprise for me. I didn't really expected it. I was just talking to Andrea when I heard my name, and it only hit me that I won when I heard the applause. What a surprise indeed. Now I can go Ding Tai Feng with Dixon, the best dressed YCG leader, another general as well!

Of course, the different generals had a spar with each other, creating photo moments for everyone to take pictures of.

I must say, it was indeed a superb night. And a fantastic way to bring my pre-uni life to a close.

In less than 2 weeks, it will be my orientation camp and then school will start. Its another chapter in my life, another play, another role.

And well, the fact that I will be studying with people 2 years younger than me just hit me in a very weird way.

Izzat (my keep-fit buddy) suggested that I go learn my counting again because I was constantly losing count or miscounting the reps that we were doing at the gym.

So, I took a short crash course from Bram Stoker's Sesame Street. Now I can count like the Count! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha...

SINGAPORE, July 5 - Singapore will hold its biggest anti-terror drill on Monday, simulating the deadly Mumbai attacks that killed 166 people last year, ahead of hosting an Asia-Pacific summit in November. Exercise North Star VII will involve 2,000 participants from 15 state agencies and media outlets and simulate situations such as concerted terror attacks on hotels, malls and an underground train station, the Singapore Police Force said in a statement.

Sometimes, reading such news makes one want to go back to the army again. When one can be involved in all the big hoo-hah and feel that he's really doing something important.

But then again, there's also the 101 things that will make one not want to go back to the army as well.

Anyway, 'Faith Like Potatoes' on Friday was pretty touching, despite its super straight forward plot and extremely predictable ending.

When I found out at the end that it was actually a true story and that Angus was a real guy who did real things, I was close to tears. This guy is really awesome! Its so challenging.

And well, when I saw the tractor accident... the images of the cat tragedy (does anyone still remember?) just kept coming to my mind. Well, I'll omit the details, but I was really convicted to just let the guilt go. So ya... I am feeling better already.

I was wondering how hilarious it would have been if Angus was called Jack instead. His wife is called Jill and they were farmers. Best part is that they planted potatoes.

I was SMSing some people in the evening when my phone decided to die on me.

So I practically spent about 6 hours without my handphone, which is probably the longest time that I spent without a phone (other than when I was wearing green in the forest). However, I wasn't too affected, except for the fact that I have to tell my supper mates to "Please COME AND LOOK FOR ME when you guys are leaving. DON'T CALL ME. I have no phone."

Also, I had to call my sister to tell my parents about what happened in case they got worried. I went to the pay phone (I hardly use these things and was amazed at how different it was when I last used it!) and called my mother, who didn't pick up, and then my sister.

Me: Hello, is this Ang Pei Yi? (I had to make sure it was my sister, because I am bad at memorising numbers)

Sis: Yes... who is this...?

Me: Its me. Your brother. *acting out a tone as if I was in trouble*

Sis: What...?

Me: My phone got stolen, I mean, my phone's battery died. Can you please call dad and mum to tell them not to be worried if I get home late and they can't reach me?"

Sis: Aiyo, ma fan. OK lah.

And then, as if in accordance to Murphy's Law, so many people decided to look for me when my phone was dead.

What happened: Reached home, plugged phone into charger, turned on. And then "WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF" (My SMS tone is a dog's barking)

When a friend of mine gets a H1N1 positive... this is a first for me though.

[the no.10 ] Donny Boy says (12:06 AM):
if we go out on sat then i kana... surely kana scold one
sure will ppl say i asking for it, haiz

ben says (12:07 AM):
i wear mask?

[the no.10 ] Donny Boy says (12:07 AM):
i don't know if someone kana is he should wear mask or those around him should wear mask

ben says (12:08 AM):
everyone wear la

[the no.10 ] Donny Boy says (12:08 AM):
looks super stuid lo
stupid*

ben says (12:08 AM):
new trend

[the no.10 ] Donny Boy says (12:08 AM):
plus is go to someone's 21st birthday -_-"

[the no.10 ] Donny Boy says (12:09 AM):
i think wes will be super sad if everyone wear mask at his birthday

ben says (12:09 AM):
haha

Here's something to put a little smile on you. :D

I feel whiny. Theres so much whine in me that I can probably add another chapter to the book of Lamentations.

Well, why so? Not because we lost in the finals of the Super Captain's Ball game, but because I feel that I am the cause of it. Ever get that feeling?

We lost because of an own goal. And that own goal was because someone passed the ball back to the goalkeeper. And that own goal was conceded because the goalkeeper wasn't paying attention for a split second. And guess who's the goalkeeper?

I could have just paid attention to that back pass for the second, I could have been a little faster, I could have... there's no use saying all these now, is there? Games are won and lost because of a single mistake. A wrong move is sometimes all you need to lose a war.

However, it is ultimately still a game. And in a game, there are winners and there are losers. We just got onto the losing end, its not life and death. Anyway, kudos to Region D for playing so well. Despite the mistake, I must say I enjoyed the game very much.

In a bid to relief myself of the whiny attitude, I went with some friends to watch Transformers 2, again. And that scene when Megan Fox held a bouquet of flowers and wearing a little white dress to send Sam off to college and they hugged each other, I think every straight man in the movie theatre must have went "Dang, I wish I was Sam..." Even if it actually means having to constantly run for your life and going through countless times of near death experiences.

And, SINCE WHEN CAN A TRANSFORMER TRANSFORM INTO HUMAN?!?!?! Obviously someone has been watching too much of Terminator...

Anyway, whoever you are, thanks for having the patience to listen/read through my whining. I feel much better now.

I think I should game less for the next week and start writing those model compositions for primary school kids who are learning creative writing. I tell you, kids nowadays are so well educated that they are learning hyperbole in primary school! I seriously don't remember myself even getting close to that word when I was in primary school.

I got a Quickening chain of 21 hits that dealt over 69000 damage!! Muahahaha, I'm so proud of myself. :P

Sorry, thats what happens when you play FFXII for 10 hours straight.

Anyway, its fun to sit in a car with a friend who passed his driving licence just 4 days ago.

Situation 1:

"Turn here."

"Okay..."

Mounts curb.

"..............."

"Sorry."

Situation 2:

*Driver staring at fuel gauge*

"My tank is going to run dry soon..."

"Keep your eyes on the road and top up the petrol later."

*Topped up fuel at petrol kiosk*

*Driver staring at fuel gauge, again*

"Wow, the meter is above the 'full' mark! It feels so awesome!"

"Please keep your eyes on the road for goodness sake."

"If you had a choice, would you choose to leave the Matrix or stay in the Matrix?"

"I'll stay in the Matrix."

"Why? Don't you want to have FREEDOM??"

"Well... you get your FREEDOM... then what?"

Besides, who said it was freedom after you exit the Matrix anyway...

Everyone knows reality is always harsher than dreams.

Woo hoo~ Happy Father's Day!



Still in time, eh?

"So which course are you taking up in NTU?"

"English Literature."

I can SO predict whats coming next.

"Oh, thats nice. What are you going to do next time(after graduation)?"

I get this all the time. ALL THE TIME.

"Well, probably anything that has to do with the English language."

I only wished it was THAT simple. I'll be glad if I don't end up being a security guard and give tuition part time.

"Nice nice. So you are going to be a teacher next time?"

I already knew it was coming to this. I sometimes think that MOE hired all these people undercover so they can influence us like this.

"Yeah, maybe. Thats going to be pretty cool."

I sometimes think that we must all be mad and that we shall wake to sanity in strait-waistcoats.

-Dr. Seward in Dracula

Perhaps the mad ones are us, suppressing ourselves, making ourselves do the things that we do not want to do. Maybe we are the reason those in asylums are laughing, and we just simply lock them up because we cannot accept this. It is not the norm. But then again, who said what was the norm?

P.s.y.c.h.o.a.n.a.l.y.s.i.s. 2 more months.

Id.

Ego.

Super-Ego.

Freud.

Not now. Not now.

Haha.

The judge was disbelieving.

"He needs to be trained," the father admitted finally and dropped his demand for twenty rupees for his son, "but that is why he will come cheap. And in puddings there is nobody to beat him. He can make a new pudding for each day of the year."

"What can he make?"

"Bananafritterpineapplefritterapplefritterapplesurpriseapplecharlotteapplebettybreadandbutterjamtartcaramelcustardtipsypudingrumtumpuddingjamrolypolygingersteamdatepuddinglemonpancakeeggcustardorangecustardcoffeecustardstrawberrycustardtriflebakedalaskamangosoufflélemonsoufflécoffeesouffléchocolatesoufflégooseberrysouffléhotchocolatepuddingcoldcoffeepuddingcoconutpuddingmilkpuddingrumbabarumcakebrandysnappearstewguavastewplumstewapplestewpeachstewapricotstewmangopiechocolatetartappletartgooseberrytartlemontartjamtartmarmaladetartbebincafloatingislandpineappleupsidedownappleupsidedowngooseberryupsidedownplumupsidedownpeachupsidedownraisinupsidedown-"

"All right. All right."

- The Inheritance of Loss, Kiran Desai

I skipped the whole chunk when reading, only caught every word while copying it into this box. AND IT WASN'T EASY COPYING IT.

On a side note, I must really stop all these short term romances with the stray cats. Its not helping with the guilt that keeps haunting me, like a ghost trapped within the skeleton of my body, slowly becoming one with it.

But then again, I always can't stop myself from giving that pat on the head, and that little stroke below the chin. So let the ghost become one with me, perhaps when it does, then it can be freed.

ANOTHER TRIP TO MALAYSIA! WOOT! I LOVE MALAYSIA SO MUCH! (but would have loved other places if I had more money) MALAYSIA TRULY ASIA!

Okay, enough of that ecstasy.

I will be heading off to my church camp in another 11 hours time and well, am trying to excite myself.

Finally, I have packed my stuff for the 5 days stay in Kuala Lumpur. Yes, I have the bad habit of packing just the night before my trip (who doesn't? I mean everybody packs just the night before, right?) The following are in my bags. Oh yes, I decided not to bring my military pack to Malaysia and instead brought 2 bags, my XL Crumpler and XS Timbuk2 :D

- Essential stuff like money, passport et cetera

- Stuff that I wear, shall not detail

- Stuff I use in the washroom, shall not detail, as well

- Bible (I mean, its a churchcamp..)

- 'The Inheritance of Loss' (never go overseas without a novel in hand)

- iPod Nano (never go on long bus rides with no music in ear)

- Camera

- Chargers

Yes, I packed very sparingly. I do not want to get into a luggage disaster when I reach the hotel.

I actually thought of bringing my PS2. (the no watching TV rule surely doesn't include no playing games on the TV) However, I decided not to. NOT because its too heavy, no. Because I don't wanna get arrested when I return with all my 'less expensive' games... ok, because its a little bulky as well.

Jeff and I have also put our money together to buy 'The BIG Taboo' for the stay. I get a feeling that could very well be the only entertainment that a group can participate in.

So well, take care everybody. Please do pray for our (the church campers) safety. For those who are staying in Singapore to maintain the minimum population number, enjoy the week with no YCG, HOF and Heart.Sports! :D

When I return from Malaysia, I shall get Vaan and his party out of King Raithwall's Tomb. I hope Demonwall is the hardest thing I'll face in there.

I do not know what to blog because for the past few days, all I have been doing is the regular exercise thing, go church and play FFXII. Run/Gym/Swim then church then FFXII. Run/Gym/Swim, church, FFXII. Its almost becoming a routine, thank God church camp is happening on Monday.

So this is what has happened.

1. I found out that there were more reusing of the indian accented memoirs voice actor in FFXII. They are, the Marquis Ondore and his weird looking assistant. I also found out that Marquis Ondore was actually the one who wrote the memoirs, but thats nothing of significance, according to the pirate princess.

2. For the first time, I had difficulty killing a boss in FFXII (its called a Demonwall) because theres a crazy time limit, like less than a minute! So I had to go level up everybody and make everybody learn quickenings for like 3 hours, then go back to destroy the wall. I slept at 5am that night.

3. I was just surfing the net on Wednesday night after YCG and suddenly remembered about the EPIC match between Barcelona and Manchester United. I eventually spent almost an entire hour before I managed to find a reliable livestream source to watch the match online. I was very satisfied when I went to sleep that night. Or morning, at 5.30am. Kudos to Barcelona for playing so well.

4. I crashed in an event for married couples called One, organised by my church to watch a movie called "Fireproof". Its an amazing movie although I felt it could be further improved if they added more drama in it. Like er... just as the wife was about to forgive her husband, her husband got called off to a fire and got injured and... ok, never mind. Person next to me commented that an actor was reused from 'Facing The Giants' and I went "oh... ok..." I haven't watched 'Facing The Giants' yet.

5. I had a crazy argument with a close friend over sms one night that lasted for hours and I had to eventually wake up at 4am just to write a letter of apology. Friendships are just so bittersweet at times. It wouldn't be so precious if it was too easy, would it?

6. I found out that I actually have to notify the SAF that I am going overseas for more than 24 hours. I could be in real trouble if I didn't and then those green people find out when they try to contact me. Well, you can't blame me, no one told me anything when I ORD. Or... I didn't really pay much attention.

I do not know what I should pack my stuff for church camp in. Bringing a military pack to Malaysia for a church camp just seem so wrong to me. I do not want to get detained.

Guess who uses a rifle as well?

I tell you, I love this guy. He's got character. Character unlike what I've seen in previous FFs. The only drawback is... its like someone missed Final Fantasy VIII so much and just made Zell carry Irvine's weapon, and then make him wear Squall's pants with abit of modification.

Oh by the way, thats Balthier, a sky pirate in FFXII. :D

"The world is always finding new and exciting ways to kill a man."

And, oh yes. I found another person who has the same indian accent as the memoirs narrator. (Shu Ting, is this the person???) Its an old indian guy by the name of Dalan and he sucks on shisha with no smoke.

Last night, which just so happens to be my birthday, was really an awesome night. Well, for me that is, and I hope for everyone else who was at my party as well.

I am really really glad that everybody who was there enjoyed themselves with the food and the games, and I had a really great time fellowshipping with everyone! :D
I guess that I didn't really have to worry about not having a plan for the party, because I had great friends who helped me with everything, on the spot. Thank God!

Well, this party has shown me one very important thing: that my family and friends will be by my side when I need them. Its really very touching, to see so many of my friends turn up; I was nearly moved to tears (yes, I was not acting) But of course, its not good to cry at your birthday party, so LAU KUI!

And to all my friends who couldn't make it for the event due to work, duties, assignments and the likes, lets go out another time! It doesn't have to be a birthday party to catch up (although it would have been a very convenient opportunity), we can always go out anytime! :D

Now everybody knows that I can't sing after listening to my debut singing performance. I couldn't even remember the lyrics. -_-" "Shi sang zi you..."

Lastly, let me thank everybody for the gifts. :D Thanks for the

• Cards with lovely messages on them, both BIG and small, and with the drawing of Cloud wielding a weird looking sword


• The love offerings $D


• The books (indian literature :D , christian books, and a guide to the working world called "Dilbert and way of the weasel", must read)


• The T-SHIRTS, many many T-shirts. This is a good indication that my sense of fashion is really not up to mark (I told you I am not metrosexual) and as a result, I have ordered 2 more T-shirts from this online place.


• The chocolate, mind you, good chocolate


• Wallet, thanks, I love it


• A good pen, which I can probably keep until I have my own cheque book to sign


• A cup. Thanks, I'll drink more water, promise.


• Music CD. :D I hope I have not downloaded those songs online... NO, I DON'T DOWNLOAD THINGS ONLINE! Piracy is bad. Don't try it at home.


• A musket! MUSKET! Live size replica! Muahaha, I was immediately reminded of Irvine from FFVIII, although its not a musket that he's holding :P (Vincent Valentine's guns are cooler!)

• And er... a Rubik's cube from Mind Cafe..
• Also.. some vouchers from Mind Cafe which I probably will not be using (they are vouchers to hold 21st birthday celebrations, so if anyone wants to hold your 21st at Mind Cafe, quickly let me know! Oh, 1988ers only, it expires 30th November 2009 -_-")
• Most importantly, everybody's presence at the event! :D :D

Alright, I am 21 now. I can finally vote. PAP, you have my vote, so please don't screw it up before the next elections, thanks.

This is such an amazing short film! The emotions displayed... are just simply wonderful. Presenting, winning film of the NFB Cannes Short Film Corner Competition, Sebastian's Voodoo :D



And! Check out this trivia: The Guinness-recognized record for remembered digits of π is 67,890 digits, held by Lu Chao, a 24-year-old graduate student from China. It took him 24 hours and 4 minutes to recite to the 67,890th decimal place of π without an error.

I can't imagine myself reciting numbers for ONE ENTIRE DAY..

Oh yes, Happy Birthday to me. 21 years of dreams, hopes, aspirations, loss, gains, troubles, worries, victories, defeats, miracles, trials, patience, faithfulness, disobedience, forgiveness. 21 years of friendships, character building and God's loving mercy. 21 years of life. 21.

Its finally over! The region event, Hide and Seek. Finally, I can breathe a sigh of relief.

This event, is among all the other events that I have participated in, the most tense, and most rushed event ever. At least thats how I feel.

I got my script 2 weeks before the event, and it was really crap. So we tried for one week to rehearse it, and then just 1 week before the event, we decided to heavily amend it. Can you believe it? With just one week left, we are still doing MAJOR amendments?! I remember during Split Second, which was our event last year, the final rehearsal was already done by this time.

So we spent Monday, and Tuesday going through lines after lines, matching emotions and words, amending almost every single thing. Sometimes, in the heat of discussion, voices were raised and it seemed so hostile. And we still had to work into the midnight on Thursday to tie up all the loose ends. You would be amazed, that what happened on Sunday during the walk through, it was completely different than on Friday, which is the main event. I remember on Sunday, I thought to myself "What a joke.."

All I have to say is, THANK GOD! Even during the final rehearsal which was 2 hours before event hour, things were still not up to standard. Emotions were not expressed properly, people were still forgetting lines. And the best part, some were still trying to make their way to church even 10 minutes before event hour. Simply amazing.

During the worship, I was worried to the max. I was so worried that something might just go wrong somewhere, and its not that we were very very well prepared. So there I was, half worshipping, half praying. "God, its all You now."

Acting in the 1st Act was quite a daunting task. Its what sets the mood for the other acts. So as I was standing at the back, ready to dive into my character, I was still praying "God, its now or never, its now or never, be with me!"

And God is faithful. As the spotlights threw itself onto the stage and the pair of us go darting into the show, I completely forgot who I was. I was totally in character! It was amazing. I do not know if I performed very well, but I know that it was the best show among all the rehearsals. To me, thats enough. And so did the rest of the actors/actress, all of them put up the best show on event hour. It was just, marvellous.

I am happy. For I have witnessed how God rescued us and have done such a miracle. And one thing is for sure, I feel very relieved now. All thats left to think about is Sunday's party, which I really have no idea how its going to be like, and what planning I must perform. Gosh, I am never good at these things. Maybe someone could give me a helping hand? :D

Finally finally, I managed to start on FFXII, and the first thing that struck me when I watched the opening (which is so visually satisfying) was "This sure looks like Lord of The Rings: The Return of the King, maybe a more technologically advanced version!" Especially the whole

"Your majesty, Nabradia has fallen"
"What! If Nabradia falls, then we will be next in the Archadian invasion! We must perform a counter attack and take it back!"
Prince Rasler, who just married Princess Ashe of Dalmasca stands up. "Your majesty, I will go!"
Prince Rasler, and this other guy whom I can't remember his name, then led a whole army to Nabradia, only to suffer an absolute defeat.

thing... I am paraphrasing abit here. Kinda reminds you of Gondor isn't it? And and and, why is it that the narrator for the memoirs has such a heavy indian accent?!?!

Anyway, if you are reading this blog, then I have most likely invited you to my birthday party happening on 24th May 2009. If not, please quickly quickly let me know so I can quickly quickly include you in my guest list. I believe that if someone is interested to read my blog, then he/she has got to be a friend. :D

It will be happening at the Mind Cafe @ Purvis Street, which is 2 streets behind Raffles Hotel, next to Nationl Library, 1 street behind Middle Road which is next to Parco Bugis Junction, or you can just simply refer to the map below.



Its going to start at 6.30pm, food should be served by then. Please don't be too late as the food will get cold.

I don't know if I am going to get a cake to cut or not, but if theres a cake, I'll cut it at around 9pm. Then everyone can just stay and hang around until the place closes, which is around 11pm.

Theres no theme or dress code for this party, so just wear whatever. Although, I must stress, please dress appropriately.

There won't be any alchohol, pork or lard in honour of God and my dear muslim friends.

What you could bring for this event:

1. A warm smile
2. A genuine heart to celebrate my 21st birthday with me
3. An open mind to have fun and enjoy the night

If you still insist on getting something tangible for me, then get me this.



Haha, if you can't figure out what that is, then its alright, You probably won't be able to find it. Just bring yourself and the 3 things mentioned above, I believe that friendship is valuable enough. :D

And, check out the view next to me as I am typing this.

In a bid to go play FFXII, which HH Eleanor so graciously lent me (thank you, your highness), I spent last night (which happened to be the only free time I get to sit my butt in front of the TV and PS2 in a week) killing Sin and going into its body. And then this afternoon killing Seymour, the Jecht-Final Aeon thingy, all the aeons, and the pathetic looking Yu Yevon.

And yes, I gave up trying to avoid 200 consecutive thunder bolts.

I have to say, its kind of sad, replaying the game and knowing that Tidus is going to fade away at the end. Its almost like when I play FFVII and knowing that Aeris is going to die before her wish of going on the Highwind will come true.

The ending is mega sad. Especially when you think about how the story and characters have developed. Even though FFVII is my favourite game, FFX's ending has to be the best. No other Final Fantasy ending has made me feel so much emotions, except maybe FFIX, or Crisis Core.

Did Tidus really come back in FFX-2? I sure hope he did.

The people and the friends we've lost, and the dreams that have faded... never forget them.



FFXII shall start tomorrow, I hope.

With so many people around me talking about Distant Worlds... sigh, I only wished I had paid more attention to advertisements and the likes.

With the high frequency of arguments happening on the Super Captain's Ball pitch, I am beginning to feel that its an appropriate time to build a Parliament House on the field.

Well, anyway, I have never let what happens at Heart.Sports spoil my mood. Its just not worth it.

I watched the Manchester United vs Arsenal match last night with my soccer pals, and some of other friends. Well, Arsenal played really well, despite the fact that the referee was obviously not very fair. Giving yellow cards for almost every single of Arsenal's fouls and not a single card for Manchester United's. No exaggeration, it was 5 yellow cards to 0 yellow cards.

Relised that soccer is to us like how Blitzball is to Spira. It bonds everybody together, and we just simply forget what happens in the real world. All of us, just packed into that one corner of the cafe, eyes glued on the screen, screaming, cheering, jeering. All we talk about is soccer, as if its all thats happening in our lives. As if we were living in the television where all the action was happening.

And then when the final whistle blows, all of us gets thrown back to reality. We foot the bills, get back onto the streets, into our lives, talk about university, about our future, about our uncertainties. If it was in Spira, its like stepping out and seeing Sin stare at you in the face. Except this time, its reality, and its not as easy to master as Sin is.

Out of boredom, I have created a "How well do you know your Final Fantasy VII?" quiz. It can be found at the below url.

http://apps.facebook.com/quizdoyouknowme/take_quiz.jsp?q=2365586&key=TJ6P

I am determined that I must finish FFX by the end of next week as I must soon embark on my FFXII journey, but I just couldn't find the time to go touch my PS2 for the past few days! Argh.

I went for my 1st official post-ORD activity today (technically, yesterday) at Vivocity. The knight was bringing royalty out.

Dim sum buffet was good, and I did a foolish thing by opening a closed entrance when the proper entrance was just a short walk away. -_-"

Shopping was good as well, and so was the visit to National Geographic Shop/Museum. Not to mention the fact that we also went into freezing chamber, but I felt that it should be better named as the cold winds chamber instead. I was reminded of Cloud scaling the mountain at the Great Glacier place, having to constantly jump and keep his body temperature up.

I actually seriously considered the possibility of working there. Its such a fantastic job! Who cares about long standing hours when you can fill your eyes and mind with the boundless amounts of knowledge in that place, and at the same time, share it with the people who comes? Haha, well, geography and geographic history ALWAYS interest me. :D Yes, I know I should be more interested in literature, I know I know.

Hm, why am I posting these things? I don't even know who reads my blogs. What if someone is blog stalking me? Haha, whatever. I am sure no one will even bother to do that.

The young man sits on his little blue chair in front of his black Samsung LCD screen, fingers on his black Logitech keyboard, staring into a little white box on blogger.com, trying perhaps to write something into it. The pink little card was sitting quietly on his desk, yet at the same time, shouting out at him, "YOU'RE FREE, YOU'RE FREE, YOU'RE FREE!" His identity card.

As his fingers moved independently on the keyboard like little dancers on a black dance floor (tic tac tic tac), his mind began to wonder back some 2 years and 4 months ago. 12th January 2007. That was the last time he saw his pink IC, and also a big part of his freedom.

To anyone else, 12th January 2007 wasn't a day worth taking note of. Its not a special day, nothing much happened, there wasn't a bomb explosion, or a tsunami, or earthquake. It was just a normal day. Yet, on this normal day, this young man's life took a big turn. He still remember he was wearing white. A white polo-T and a pair of jeans. In the morning, he was with someone he loved. And that someone he loved accompanied him on a bus (a long bus ride which he wished had lasted forever) to Pasir Ris. They said good bye at the train station and that was the last time he was allowed to love anyone.

He met his family at the shopping centre nearby and then together, made their way to the island also known as Pulau Tekong. And that was where he last saw the pink card until 2 years and 4 months later. "Put your IC in here and we will give it back to you later." From then on, he turned green.

Recruit, Private, Corporal, 3rd Sergeant, 2nd Sergeant. Lets do a little fast forwarding here. The life of a green man can get a little boring at times, and besides, there are other people who don't like green men to talk about their green lives. They say its a secret. A secret that all men in this nation knew.

So this green man went about doing his green things for 1 year and 10 months. And just when they were about to give him back his pink, he decided to stay green somemore. The other green men he worked with went about getting back their colours, and he just simply stayed green. Quite a number of people were surprised. They say its a crazy thing to do. But somehow, the green man seemed to enjoy his green life. Because to him, it was not so green afterall, other colours managed to sneak their way into his life.

A multi-coloured man on the inside, a green man on the outside. Thats what you can call him. He stayed on, for another 6 months. And during this 6 months, he thoroughly enjoyed himself. Green didn't seemed like a bad colour afterall. Thats when he slowly realised, green is a colour. Like pink, yellow, blue, orange, green is actually a colour as well.

Today marks the end of the 6 months for this man. Today is the day this man got his pink back. But he didn't feel too much of a difference. Perhaps, just perhaps, he has discovered that pink and green are just a part of a million colours there are in this world. And he is glad that he was green once.

However, one thing is for certain today. He is free. Freedom has found its way back to him, or he has found his way back to freedom. There was no longer the need for him to wake up at 4.50am to go to the green place, or have his phone by him 24/7 in case other green men needed him (although it became a habit for him to have his phone by him 24/7).

A free multi-coloured man, jobless. He has another 3 months before becoming a not-so-free multi-coloured man, and he is intending to do the following in this 3 months:

• Finish FFX, FFX-2, Kingdom Hearts, FFXII (if Her Highness Eleanor the Graceful decides to lend it to him)
• Get his fitness back and this includes: Swimming, Soccer, Cycling, Running, Gym.
• Read ALOT.
• Catch up and fellowship with his friends.
• Help his region with the region event.
• Hold the biggest (and probably the only) birthday party in his life.
• Maybe teach tuition in case he runs out of money to spend.

Suddenly, his fingers stopped dancing, and he returned from his time travelling, back to his little blue chair, black Samsung LCD screen and black Logitech keyboard. The multi-coloured man then moved his right hand towards his black Razer mouse, ready to click "Publish Post" on blogger.com.

TODAY IS MY LAST DAY AT WORK.

HAPPY, DELIGHTED, ELATED, JOYFUL, JUBILANT, ECSTATIC, EXULTANT, PEPPY, ON CLOUD NINE, GAY, GLAD.

PINK IC ON MONDAY.

SUPERB, FANTASTIC, MARVELOUS, AWESOME, SENSATIONAL, FABULOUS, SPLENDID, WONDERFUL.

MAS SELAMAT HAS BEEN CAUGHT.

CONGRATULATIONS, JOB WELL DONE, GOOD JOB, WELL DONE, ACTUALLY I DON'T REALLY CARE.

Anyway, I saw a dead guy today. Like, er, a real dead man. Nope, not a dead cat. A dead man.

Death seems to be lingering around my life. Sounds like a paradox. Never mind.

HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT THE GUY LYING ON THE GRASS HAD JUMPED TO HIS DEATH? I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST DEAD DRUNK.

I was half right. He was dead. Drunk or not, I do not know.

Its really such an amazing thing to be in love.

我接着写

把永远爱你写进诗的结尾

你是我唯一想要的了解

Hm, I wonder when will it be my turn. :P

"WAIT FOR YOUR QUEUE NUMBER TO BE CALLED." *voice from nowhere, maybe the clouds*

Oh well.

You have been living in this house for nearly 7 years.

One night, as with any other nights, you wanted to close your windows and switch on the air-conditioner before retiring for a good night's sleep.

You pull the window's handle and the handle breaks off from the window. Now you have to close your window by pulling on that little tab thing where the handle used to be with a pair of pliers.

My castle is falling apart. How sad.

I feel stupid. I can't believe anyone playing goalkeeper in Super Captain's Ball has the possibility of getting injured. And here I am with a sprained ankle. I simply can't believe myself.

Anyway, Jeff, Matthew and I concluded today that Super Captain's Ball is a very political sport.

Matthew: I read the rules. What I did wasn't a foul.

Me: You missed out the last line. It probably reads "The above rules are subject to changes without informing you." That was probably the 1st version of the rules you read, I think we are playing the 101st version of the rules in our game.

Jeff: Its just like politics, things just keep on changing and we keep debating about it and theres no end to it.

Agreed.

Well, check out these exciting photos!

I was just watching "Slumdog Millionaire" in my room on a very lazy Thursday afternoon, and just when Jamal was telling the police officer about how he couldn't find Latika and thats why he got onto the show, I smelled smoke in my room.

First thought "Crap, did my tv or dvd player or computer just short circuited itelf?!?!" I did a check and that was not true.

It must be from the outside. So I opened the window (I was having my air conditioner on) and true enough, it was smooooooooooooooky. Someone was having a little too much cigarettes to puff on. Kidding.

So I was thinking "Ah, those joss sticks and incense paper burners!" Then I thought "Wait, is it even hungry ghost festival yet?"

On a closer look, the smoke was actually pouring out of a flat. And there was quite a crowd gathering downstairs. "Crap" was the first word in my head. I opened my room door and alas, the living room was all smoke. So I went out of my house, snapped a few pictures, breathed in the excitement (and smoke), went downstairs and watched the heroes of our civil defence do their thing.

This is probably one of the most exciting things that had ever happened to my sleepy little town of Yew Tee since the opening of the shopping mall, Yew Tee Point.

Oh yes, this is the 2nd time I have witnessed a fire while slacking in my own room. The last one was... in 2006. Before I was enlisted in the army. That was a big bad fire. Lets take a look at some of the pics and I shall end.

And, yo. I am back. Yes, from Sibu Island. I can still feel the bobbing up and down of the boat while I am here sitting in my room typing into this little space.

Overall, I loved this trip. Well, considering the fact that its my first overseas trip since I was enlisted, and that its a break I could really use from all the work back in camp. And the best part is, people can still call me while I am on the island taking a break, to ask me about work. Marvelous, simply marvelous.

Anyway, I will post some pictures. Pictures can say a thousand words, but a thousand words is not alot. There are some things that just simply cannot be put in words. The experience, having sea spray in your face, looking at the sun rising from the horizon, and setting into it, looking at the underwater life of the coral reefs and diving in to touch some corals and getting your hand scratched by one, getting your dad and mum to do things that they haven't done in their entire lifetime. These are expriences that can't be put into words.

And well, my camera is not some SLR or a super high tech piece of equipment, so there are some limitations: The sunrise won't be as glorious as it really is, there won't be pictures of the coral reefs cos my camera isn't waterproof, the beaches and skies won't be as splendid as it really is, and of course, the camera couldn't capture the sky that was full and full of stars.

Anyway, here we go. Oh, these are only some of the pictures I took. Its a total of 443 pictures. Haha, I think I'll find somewhere else to upload the rest.

In another 6 more hours, *poof* I'll be gone! Well, to Malaysia that is.

Its the 1st time I'm going overseas in 2 years. No wait, 2 and half years. Can you believe it?!?! I've never gone overseas since I was enlisted in the army. What a sad life. Well, unless you consider Sentosa as overseas.

Sibu Island! Beach paradise! I love beaches. Sun, wind, sea. Clear water. I think I will enjoy. And having an entire hotel room to myself, muahaha, the perks of paying for your family trip. Wait, I hope its not a creepy hotel. :S

"Sibu Island is one of Malaysia's unspoilt islands off the Peninsula's East Coast, facing the South China Sea. Approximately 6 km long and 1 km wide, the island abounds with lush tropical vegetation, and is noted for its beaches, hills, cliffs and exotic bird population."

On a side note, something left me stupified for a minute today. I called 1633 (Starhub do-it-all number) to activate my international roaming. As expected, everything was automated, key in this, key in that, which is good. And when I'm done with all the keying, they asked me to wait for the customer service officer. Which I did. For 5 minutes. And they kept telling me that "your call is important to us", "but not so important because its a Sunday night, but if you are earning S$1m a month, please press 1 and we'll attend to you immediately." (I made up the 2nd line).

And then, I got the biggest shock when the CSO picked up.

CSO: Hello good evening how may I help you?

Me: Er, I want to activate my international roaming.

CSO: Ok, let me check. Oh, you already activated it.

Me: Is it? Yeah, I activated it just now.

CSO: Yes, you activated it at 10.23pm (I can't remember the time, but its around there)

Me: Oh, ok, then why did they direct me to a CSO? To tell me that my international roam is activated?

CSO: Yes, I believe so.

Me: Oh ok, thanks.

CSO: Anything else I can help you with?

Me: No, thanks. Have a good night.

CSO: Thank you for calling... ( I hanged up)

I can't believe they directed me to a CSO just to tell me my international roaming has been activated. Couldn't they just automate it as well?? Argh, telecom providers...

Anyway, see you all in 3 days time. I hope I will have pictures to show.

Death.

I never liked to talk about death. In fact, I never like to talk about death. Its not a taboo for me, its just something very unpleasant to talk about.

Death. Its so very unpleasant to talk about that people come up with all sort of terms and phrases to avoid saying the word death. Went six feet under, kicked the bucket, met his creator, passed on, passed away, whatever. We say almost everything else but, die.

Death is something very common. People die everyday, thousands and thousands die in natural disasters, theres a funeral once every few weeks at the pavilion near my house. But to see someone or something die, thats not very common. And to have been able to do something to prevent it from dying, thats very rare.

Yet, it happened to me. And now, I don't know how to describe my emotions. Sad? Guilty? Maybe a mix of both? I don't know. All I know is, every time I close my eyes, that very scene just keeps on replaying itself like a spoilt disc in a DVD player. Its haunting me.

The cat was peering down from the ledge of the staircase railing, looking for its mother. And there I was trying to coax it down with some ikan bilis. If I had known, IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN, I would have went over and pulled it off the ledge. But I did not know, and I was too much of a coward, afraid that it might just jump off when I get too close. The kitten did not jump off. It just dropped off.

I can still hear its claws, frantically trying to grab at anything to hang on to, but it was too late. I could only pray, that an angel, maybe a cat angel would just fly over and pick it up in mid air. But that didn't happen. "Thud." I can still hear it in my head.

IF ONLY I HAD WENT OVER AND GRAB IT. If only if only. If only time could go in the reverse direction. If only so many so many different things.

Dropping from 8 storeys high. I cannot imagine. I quickly took the lift down. The kitten did not die. It just sat there, with its mother by its side. I knew its mother. I had only fed the mother a few hours back.

As I approached, the kitten limped away with its mother. I can still remember its face. The cute face, even after falling from 8 storeys high. "God, please keep this little fella alive."

That was the last time I saw the kitten alive. The next morning as I went to work, I spotted the corpse in the distance. Lying motionless on the floor. My heart broke to a million, billion pieces. I could not even bring myself to see it. And as I walked on, its mother approached me. "Meow." I patted its head. "I'm so so very very sorry."

I do not like to post sad posts. But I can't post happy posts considering how sad I am now. Telling myself not to think about it did not help. You can don't think about something, but that something can still stay in you. And when you stop thinking about anything else, you will find it right where you left it.

And thats how it is with me now. Scenes just keep on replaying itself. The face, the mewing, scurrying of claws on ledge, the thud, the fact that I could have done something other than trying to offer ikan bilis.

If only I had known. If only I had done something. If only it didn't come up to the 8th storey. If only I wasn't there. If only a hundred million things. If only I wasn't such a coward.

When I came back from work in the afternoon, the body was gone, probably swept away by the indian uncle who keeps my estate clean. However, everything else still remains in my mind. Haunting me. Accusing me. Murderer. A cowardly murderer.

Its another 10 more working days, 22 more actual days. ORD here I come.

I can feel it. Operationally-Ready-Date. Thats what ORD means. Its funny how the SAF come up with such a term. Well, thats because most people become less operationally ready when they ORD... but well, it doesn't matter.

Then I will get back my pink IC, and someone will ask me "Whats that shiny card in your hot hand?" (I can't remember the exact words, FF7 fans help?) and I will reply in a very cool manner, "Thats my PINK IC.I say again, PINK IC."

Welcome back, me.

Another nice video. Someone remind me to get a window seat when I find a job next time.



"Oh you coward you. You are not going to get anywhere by just sitting there and reasoning with yourself, giving excuses for your own cowardness. Get up and do something about it for goodness sake!" - Me to myself.

Reminds me of The Wizard Of Oz.

"Courage!
What makes a king out of a slave?
Courage!
What makes the flag on the mast to wave?
Courage!
What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk?
What makes the muskrat guard his musk?
Courage!
What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder?
Courage!
What makes the dawn come up like thunder?
Courage!
What makes the Hottentot so hot?
What puts the "ape" in apricot?
What have they got that I ain't got?"
- Cowardly Lion

"I want so much to open your eyes, coz I need you to look into mine."

"Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him."

I had nasi lemak today again. This time, it was breakfast. Somehow, my friends and I felt adventurous (and hungry) during work in the morning and quickly hopped into the car. We ended up at the same Bedok market we were at yesterday.

And yes, I had the "best nasi lemak" in the market (remember I had the second best yesterday?). It's a stall called "HONG NI", which literally means RED MUD in mandarin. I have no idea why its called RED MUD. I think it has something to do with the very potent chilli sauce and the potential shi.. output that the customer will produce after eating. Well, its not so bad. I only had 2 stomach upsets in the afternoon. And I skipped lunch.

Had dinner with my family at Xin Wang @ Yew Tee Point after work. I can now safely say I have been eating the same things for the past 3 days. Xin Wang on Sunday, Nasi Lemak yesterday, Nasi Lemak and Xin Wang today. There was so so so much food. Gosh, I just love eating with my family, I can order anything I want! Muahahaha.

Anyway I was in the bus going home and there was this person humming a little tune behind me. I didn't turn to see who it was.

Person humming: Lalalalalalala.

*Bus mounted the curb and there was a huge jerk*

Person humming: Ah! Jagulismkfsgokadn (Gibberish I can't understand)

Me: *laughed, tried to control laughter, failed, and laughed*

Me: *repeated above actions*

*People in front was turning their heads to see which mad guy was behind them*

Me: *repeated above actions until I alight*

And gosh, I have to sleep in camp tomorrow and Thursday night. How sad. I will miss my computer. And my PS2.

Extending another 6 months in the army is just nice. Another month and I feel that too much energy will be drained out of me, less a month and I feel that I've not earned enough yet. This contract for 6 months is given to me by God anyway, so of course its nice.

Well, thats my own conclusion after discussing the matter with a friend at work today. At least I'll be leaving the army with a positive experience (thats what the Army Recruitment Centre likes to say most) and not feel sour about giving my time to the sacred work of protecting our beloved nation.

A colleague asked me today if I'll look for another job after I ORD in May. He advised me to look for one. Reason: "My brain would rot if I don't use it for 3 months." Not that my brain is not rotten enough after my stint in the army. I would probably consider taking up something light though, like tuitioning or something.

Anyway, theres also the part in me that doesn't feel like leaving the army yet. Leaving the army means leaving my source of income. And leaving my source of income would mean the following:

• Sorry family, can't bring them out and treat them to good meals as often.
• Sorry friends, can't go to nice places with them too much.
• Sorry myself, can't go shopping as much.

Shopping. Oh man. I recently realised how much I love shopping. Ok, lets not use love, LIKE shopping. I recently watched "Confessions of a shopaholic" (I was forced to) and I could almost identify with the protaganist. Gosh, I don't even know if I am supposed to feel ashamed. Masculinists (I don't know if theres such a word, to find out its meaning, think feminist) would probably be making their way to kill me right now. Well, at least I am still serving in the army and I play soccer every week and I don't go for facial and I don't carry pretty bags and I don't wear tight fitting clothes, so please don't shelf me in with the "Sensitive New Age Guy" or "Metrosexual" categories.

ANYWAY. Today is declared as "Nasi Lemak Day" by me. Thats because for both lunch and dinner, I had Nasi Lemak. Yes, I skipped breakfast. So during lunch time, my friends and I drove out to Bedok and had some Nasi Lemak there (we love to be very adventurous during lunch time :D)

This Nasi Lemak, although I ordered alot alot (2 chicken wings, fish fillet, fried egg, luncheon meat, long beans, extra rice), I was left longing for more! Its not "FANTASTIC!", but it was good enough. This despite the fact that my friend says this stall is only second best in the market (and I thought I only saw 2 Nasi Lemak stalls in the market)

So the story goes, as soon as I finished work, I decided that I shall not have the usual dinnerfare from my mum's stall and go buy some Nasi Lemak at Yew Tee instead.

And after having Nasi Lemak from 2 different places today, I have decided. I still like the one at Chong Pang better. :D

Something for Easter :D

"And it doesn't end there. Jesus is alive."

Many a times, its the imperfections that make life beautiful. The imperfections that make it, perfect.

Today is a sad day. Its the day that I mourn the loss of my 1 month old iPod.

Good bye my iPod, I pray that whoever stole you from me will treat you well. Good bye all my songs, I pray that you will bless the one who took you away.

Well, its quite an expensive lesson, but I have learnt not to place my bag unattended in my bunk now. Evil people are everywhere! I am finally convinced that people can get so desperate that they search other people's bags for 'goodies'. Hmph.

And of course, as with all things in life, God always has a lesson in the things that happen to me. This time, its about carelessness. (Is there such a word even?)

I used to be a very careful person, locking up my stuff in my locker, making sure nothing is left lying around. But months and months of 'good times' and I have become complacent. Thats why the bag was not in the locker, and thats why the iPod was not in the bag.

The same thing applies to our walk with God. Sometimes, after being so on fire, so close and so touched by God, we get complacent. We feel that nothing bad is going to happen, that even if we skip praying for a day, or not read the bible for abit, its alright. We won't backslide. We won't lose the fire.

The devil's most common trick is to make us feel that "its alright". That is, in fact, the oldest trick the devil has in his book. And yet, its one of the most effective one. Its the 1st trick he played on humans, when he said the same thing to Eve, tricking her to eat the apple. And we've been tricked again and again and again.

Its not alright. If its alright to sin, Jesus wouldn't have to die on the cross for us. If its alright, Adam and Eve wouldn't be cast out of the Garden of Eden. It is not alright to skip prayer, skip devotion, skip service.

Therefore it is very important for us to be on our toes all the time. To be alert, cautious, and not be easily tricked by the devil. Don't wait till you lose your iPod before you start putting your things in your locker again.

All sort of things happen in life, even the ones that you do not expect. They are called "surprises", some are pleasant, some are unpleasant, and there some you just do not know where to put them.

This morning was like any other morning. Woke up at 4.50am (yes, thats when I wake up every morning), washed up, prepared for work and then head out of my home. Even as I got into the lift, I was still half-asleep; I had the habit of catching large amounts of sleep on my 1 and half hour journey to work.

So, like any other morning, I just hit the button with "1" on it and the lift door closed. I stoned for a second or 2 as the lift started moving downwards.

All of a sudden, there was a jerk and the lift came to a sudden stop. In my mind was a big big "?" and I actually thought the lift stopped for someone at the 7th floor. But no, the lift was somewhere between the 8th and 7th floor.

Really, being half asleep and getting stuck in a lift isn't the best things to mix. There was an announcement over the speaker that went "Please do not force the lift door open. Press the alarm and wait for rescue." I did not even realise my lift broke down, well, you can't blame me, the lights and ventilation were still on. So I just retardedly keep hitting the "1" button, then all the other buttons, and after about a minute of doing that, I realised my lift broke down.

So retardedly again, I pressed the alarm bell. In a variation of patterns and rhythm, and then realising that no one would hear the bell at 5.20am, I gave up. I just called for help myself. I didn't even know why I bothered to press the alarm when the helpline was right in front of me.

I dialed the number, and half-expected no one to pick up the phone. But of course, someone did.

"Hello?"

"Er, hi, I am stuck in the lift"

"Sorry?"

"Er, my lift broke down and I am stuck in the lift."

"Oh ok... which block is that?"

"686B"

"Ok, I'll send a rescue team over."

"May I know how long will it take?"

"25 minutes"

"Wha?"

"Could be earlier. 25 minutes or earlier."

"Oh ok, thanks"

15 minutes later, I heard sounds around the lift. Then someone knocked on the lift door outside and went "Hello?" I was feeling super sleepy and didn't react. So the fella went "Hello?" again. Then I realised that it was rescue and I responded "Ya?" And then the reply came "Wait wait."

10 minutes later, the lift door opens up and this indian guy popped his head in. I looked at him and said "Yo." Then he helped me to climb out of the lift and I said thanks and its off to work for me. I reached camp 30 minutes later than I usually did, but well, thank God I always reach camp 1 hour earlier than expected. :D

I received one of the weirdest SMS today. So weird that I have to blog it. Well, to protect the identity of those involved, names shall be replaced with fruits. (Note: this SMS came out of nowhere. There was no previous conversation with Kiwi at all.)

Kiwi: Maybe I got an idea

Me: What idea?

Kiwi: I have not think yet , if think already message you or even Tangerine .

Me: Ok... Good night!

Kiwi: Bye and good night rest .

I was dumbfounded for a minute.

Another new look to my blog.

However, it seems like I can't escape from the colour green. Oh well, I just like my blog to be in green. Kinda relaxing to read. I think.

Its another 44 more days to ORD. Time flies isn't it. I still remember it was during November that I decided to put down another 6 more months for the country (so patriotic, ain't I?) and its coming to the end of March now. Slighty more than a month and... my life will turn 180° back to... what it used to be.

University is next. The more I think about it, the more apprehensive I get. I am NOT prepared to study right now. Not at all. I have lost all my smart cells and replaced them with military ones. I wonder how do the rest of the guys in my country do it.

Theres only 1 person I know who is studying E.Lit right now, and that is Her Highness Shu Ting (mind you, she's the princess of a country that I can't tell you or I'll have to kill you). Looking at the way she writes and the amount of literature that is in her mind, and that she is still saying its not easy, I have decided on the following:

• I must watch more plays other than the ones Bright invites me to.
• I must read more books other than the ones which titles interest me.
• I must read more poems other than the ones that I randomly see online.
• I must go revise all my literary devices.
• I must know more literary devices other than hyperbole, alliteration, simile, personification, irony, sarcasm, oxymoron, parody etc.
• I must put more literature into my brain.

I wonder when will I ever get on to doing these things.

I have built a city here

Half with pride and half with fear

I just wanted a safer place to hide

I don’t want to be safe tonight

I need You like a hurricane

Thunder crashing wind and rain

To tear my walls down

I’m only Yours now

I need You like a burning flame

A wild fire untamed

To burn these walls down

I’m only Yours now

I’m only Yours now

I am Yours and You are mine

You know far better than I

And if destruction's what I need

Then I’ll receive it LORD from Thee

Yes I’ll receive it LORD from Thee

And its Your eye in the storm

Watching over me

And its Your eye in the storm

Wanting only good for me

And if You are the war

Let me be the casualty

Till I’m Yours alone

I am only Yours

I am Yours alone LORD

再给我两分钟

让我把记忆结成冰

别融化了眼泪

你妆都花了要我怎么记得

记得你叫我忘了吧

记得你叫我忘了吧

你说你会哭

不是因为在乎

I loved this video. Enjoy. :D

Just in case anyone wants to know more about me... I don't know, I feel that its kinda creepily accurate. Maybe I don't know myself well enough. Anyway if you people want to check out the quiz, just pop over to http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Sometimes I wish life was like a game. You know what you are supposed to do, you know where you are supposed to go, you know who you are supposed to meet.

That the special someone you are supposed to meet is going to meet you in the most interesting of scenarios; like when you fall from the sky landing in a bed of flowers; or when you go on a secret mission in a train with a resistance group; or when you plan to kidnap the princess and then fall in love with her; or when you arrive in a foreign world and you just know the summoner standing on water is the one.

That it doesn't matter what happens between you two. It doesn't matter if she's the last of her kind in the world and you rescue her from an evil electric company despite the odds and then go on an epic adventure; it doesn't matter if everyone believes she's a soceress, you are just going to rescue her; it doesn't matter if she's the queen and you are just a bandit; and it doesn't matter she's getting forced into marriage, you are going to disrupt that marriage.

And it doesn't even matter how it ends. She might die, killed by your arch enemy; you might finally get to hold her in your arms under the moonlight at a party; she might come running to you after you return from saving the world; or the two of you might not even be allowed to be with each other at the end.

Whatever it is, no matter how it ends, it doesn't matter, as long as the two of you have loved each other while you were together. That even if you can't be with each other physically, you have each other in your heart, and the both of you converse in your dreams.

Sometimes I wish life was like a game. A fantasy. Or fantasies. Final fantasies.

Contrary to popular belief, there are actually many things to learn in the army that can be applied practically to our lives. And one of the things that I learnt, is the term: Regroup.

During my training as a section commander, I learnt that when we get into a very nasty situation, we retreat and regroup. That is actually very common knowledge. The reason as to why we do that is simple; because we got compromised and thus have to reorganize, restrategise, and then return again to restart the fight. It is not surrendering. It is simply regrouping.

In a general term, I call this "Restart". Funny as it may seem, restarts actually play a very big role in our lives. Our computers have a function to restart when our system go bonkers, our PSP, Playstations, XBOX, they all have a restart function. Even if a product has no restart button, like our handphones, we always turn them on and off whenever something seemed wrong with the device.

Why do we do that? Because we believe that by restarting the device, it will simply sort itself out. And it does. Restarts seem to work most of the time. When our computer crash, the 1st thing we do is to restart it; then pray that it works, which usually happens.

Though I do restarts often, I never liked it. It actually takes courage and sacrifice to hit that "Reset" or "Restart" button. When I am playing a game and it hangs, I always hesitate a long time before I hit the "Reset" button. Thats because I know if I restart, I will lose all that I have done before the game hanged. However, the thing is that if I don't restart, I simply am unable to move on. A dilemma indeed.

I have been in the down for quite some time now. Been hitting this invisible wall these days, unable to get a move on. Taking a step back and looking at the road behind me, I realised that I have actually struggled quite a bit with myself. Torn bits of clothes were lying at some places where I tore them from myself, there were books at some places where I ran out of ideas.

Looking down this particular road, I realised that at some point, I decided to leave God out of the plan. I decided that I could do this on my own, that I had enough in me to handle whatever that may come my way. I was wrong. I only made a big mess out of myself.

Realising that I was going nowhere, I decided to walk back down the road, pick up all the bits and pieces I dropped; retreat back to the start point again.

Its time to restart and to regroup. And this time, God's going to lead the way.

Just finished watching "The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button". And this is one of my favourite scenes. :D

"But life being what it is, a series of intersected lives and incidents, out of anyone's control..."